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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it is cruel not to allow your children to go trick or treating?

272 replies

treatortrick · 31/10/2009 16:34

And mean not to open the door to trick or treaters?

Friend has told her children that they cannot go trick or treating as it is begging.

She has also said she will not be opening the door to anyone who comes calling.

Her children are missing out and IMO this is cruel.

OP posts:
alwayslookingforanswers · 31/10/2009 17:32

My children aren't going trick or treating (this year, last year or next year), and I'm not opening the door (only had one half hearted knock so far).

Not doing anything "special" either.

It's just another day in this house - do my kids feel deprived - they don't look it

Morloth · 31/10/2009 17:33

They are probably going to cry themselves to sleep tonight always they are just being brave...

mamatotwo · 31/10/2009 17:33

I am so glad I am not the only "cruel" mother out there, I have had my curtains shut & front lights out since 4.30. I hate the way it has all been so commercialised, I have never seen so much Halloween tat in the supermarkets. Halloween parties yes, trick or treating no. I wish someone would come up with a universal sign that meant "no trick or treaters here thank you",last year my daughters (age 10) friends mother asked my why I did not answer the door when she & her daughter rang!!!!

alwayslookingforanswers · 31/10/2009 17:34

oh no!!!!

Pixel · 31/10/2009 17:42

My two have never been trick or treating because I don't like the whole concept of it. Last year they dressed up because the local cat's protection had put on a really good spooky display and were collecting tins of cat food so we walked there and made a donation. They enjoyed being out in the dark and I walked them through the church yard on the way back which freaked them out.

I have put a pumpkin outside this year and bought a few sweets as we live in a close and are only likely to get a few local children knocking.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 31/10/2009 17:42

No not cruel - but right now there is a 'street party' going on with lots of adults dressed up and groups of small chidren going up and down the street looking for pumpkins in the windows. Maybe I just live in a nice area.

sarah293 · 31/10/2009 17:46

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nion64 · 31/10/2009 17:51

In fact YA double BU as I have just had my first knock on the door given them an over ripe banana and have had to tell them not to go knocking the door of my next door elderly lady's house (not because of the old lady but because of the mouthful they would get from her if they did ) So i have double responsibilities!!!!!

VampireSoupAndPeachyPie · 31/10/2009 17:52

I think if you put a no thanks sign up it should berespected.

Here the boys are only visiting friends from school who have trick or treted here before (first and only year of doing it)- which is harmless

Sign up saying 'Happy Samhain'.

Head has banned any talk of Halloween which IMO isfar more likely to put people off Christianuity than dressing up in Walmart synthetics and binging on haribo!

And we arew Christians, just not the type that think nobody else should be able to do thier own thing Christians.

Kerrymumbles · 31/10/2009 17:55

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 31/10/2009 17:58

YABU. It is not cruel at all. As a child I was never allowed to go trick or treating as my mum always said it was another form of begging.

I also don't let my kids do it either and so far they are not bothered. However, my eldest is 6, and for the first couple of Halloweens we did dress him up & take him to see family (which was pre-arranged, so they were expecting us).

Our local police have printed up stickers to attach to your front door with their logo on them saying "No Trick or Treaters Thank You" which we use. We have a 13 mo baby too who goes to bed at 6pm so I don't want the doorbell to keep ringing all evening. We live on a new-build development so tend to get a lot of trick or treaters round here.

Plus, I wanna watch X-Factor in peace tonight

OvaryActing · 31/10/2009 17:58

I think the OP may be my friend. We are currently ignoring furtive knocks on the front door and my children are watching 'Hole in the Wall'. I haven't done Trick or Treating in 16 years of parenting and don't intend starting now.

KimiTheThreadSlayingAxeKiller · 31/10/2009 17:59

I think it depends on where you live as well as personal choice.
We live in a nice area where a lot of the houses decorate up and most of the T or Ts are small children with mums with them.
We have a big pumpkin full of pencils, rubbers, mini packs of cards and stickers for them when they turn up.

It is a bit of fun.

Also my FIL died on Halloween so any distraction is good.

babyelvis · 31/10/2009 17:59

what a great tradition! Begging... hey but at least they have the best time of their lives.

notevenamousie · 31/10/2009 18:02

I'm cruel too. I have already called 999 once tonight for an elderly lady down the road who had a lit firework thrown at her. So no, I won't be letting dd out or opening my door. Hopefully we'll also stay out of A+E/ the burns unit, where I imagine my neighbour will by now be heading.

ADifferentMe · 31/10/2009 18:03

Anyone noticed the OP disappeared? Spoooooky.....

bluejeans · 31/10/2009 18:09

It's different in Scotland as already mentioned and not new - I went guising over 30 years ago. It's not begging either as you have to sing a song or tell a joke etc. Round here, and where I grew up, you only go to people you know so we're not answering the door to strangers (although sometime difficult to recognise who's under the costume!) It's a lot of fun so I would feel bad to deny DD and would definitely be unusual here. Do understand it's different south of the border.

oldraver · 31/10/2009 18:09

Oh I am so glad I am not the only 'cruel' one. DS is a bit too young yet and I really dont want him to go Trick or Treating on the future. He is obssesed with the tatt goods in the Co-Op but all the masks are revolting

Luckily we live at the end of a cul-de-sac of older peoples bungalows so we rarely get beggars T+T'ers

Emprexia · 31/10/2009 18:11

well.. guess i'm cruel.

If kids want to have a l'il halloween party, i'm good for dressing them up for that.. but Trick or Treating?

no way hose.

I may next year clear it with the neighbours in my mums street who i grew up with if DS is desperate, but otherwise, aint happening.

TrillianSlasher · 31/10/2009 18:16

I doesn't matter if it's American or British, old or new, it's not cruel to not let your child do it.

difficultdecision · 31/10/2009 18:16

ooh good I'm cruel! never actually managed to achieve that parenting status yet - have been stuck at mean (DS aged 21m only allowed milk or water, no juice or fizzy drinks) so feel this is a real achievement

No child of mine will EVER be allowed to go trick or treating.

brandonsflower · 31/10/2009 18:17

I have some sweets in because we live in an area with loads of kids and don't want to be the local scrooge I may be a bit more stingy in future though, as I just heard 1 lad go off ( all of 12 years old! ) saying " reckon she fancies me, she gave me 2!"

I don't take my DCs trick or treating, because it does feel a bit beggy, but they've gone out with ExH round to all the grandparents to get bagfuls of sweets for me to eat

ActivityApple · 31/10/2009 18:32

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OrmIrian · 31/10/2009 18:33

No it isn't cruel.

Personally I think it' a bit mean-spirited perhaps? All this repudiation of 'strangers'. 'I don't want my children knocking on strangers doors' and 'I don't want strangers' children knocking on my door'.

Fuck me! Strangers are only strangers once

famishedass · 31/10/2009 18:35

Sorry but my children don't "beg" - or "demand money with menances".

What they do is dress up in hallowe'en costumes with make up, hats, etc and go knocking on the neighbourhood doors (since when were your neighbours strangers ) and when someone answers the door they say "trick or treat". Then they either get given a sweet, or they don't but either way they then say "happy halloween" and go.

They certainly don't play tricks on anyone. If people don't want to give them anything they respect that.

To be fair, I really do think it depends where you live. I'd hate to live somewhere loads of thuggish teens in scream masks come to.

For those of you who say "knocking on strangers doors" how else are you supposed to get to know your neighbours? I'm puzzled

Anyway, just wanted to clarify that my children are not beggers. thank you - since when was asking for something begging?