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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to travel first class on the train with an 18mo?

100 replies

Baconsarnie · 31/10/2009 13:58

Am visiting parents in a few weeks with 18mo DS. The train journey is about two hours long, and obv it can be a bit of a trial with DS. He loves trains, but doesn't keep still, will want to walk up and down, press the button to open the door at the end of the carriage etc. He's not too noisy tho, or at least I'll do my best to keep him quiet. So, would I be unreasonable to book a first class ticket? Two singles are quite cheap on Virgin as we'll be travelling off-peak. The upside will be more space, fewer people to annoy/charm, a higher chance of getting two seats to ourselves, and just general all round comfort. But is that unfair to the other people who might be travelling for business or who might have paid more for a bit of peace and quiet?

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 31/10/2009 21:50

this is tamest aibu i have seen.YANBU

if it makes journey easier,why not

passthevino · 31/10/2009 21:58

I always buy the advanced cheap 1st class tickets and travel with my two who are under 5. I take magazines, DVD players & headphones, colouring books and snacks. The time flies by and they have become really good little travellers.

You sound like a very considerate person who tries not to let her child disrupt everyone on the train and that makes all the difference.

Frankly I find loud shouty "can you hear me know" phone conversations equally irritating so just relax!

passthevino · 31/10/2009 21:59

sorry "can you hear me now" not know!

wicked · 31/10/2009 22:06

I always travel first class on longer routes. I would have no qualms of going first class with a toddler.

Obviously, any children have to be well trained snd not irritate the other passengers who have also forked out for first class.

mathanxiety · 31/10/2009 23:11

One would hope that all the passengers in first class would be well trained and not irritate any other passengers.

Fibilou · 01/11/2009 12:10

I thought you were going to say you were going to pay for a standard then travel in first class . !

But no, if you're paying then why on earth not. Busy trains are usually horrid with mobile phones and walkmans so I say go for it

harimosmummy · 01/11/2009 12:17

Sorry, I ahven't read the whole thread, so this is in response to the OP.

I travel, regularly, with DS (Now 17 months), DD (Now 3 months) and DDog (he's 6)

We travel first class because of the extra help, the fact I can have food brought to me at my seat and the fact they are helpful.

I've never had a problem at all (I would add, my dog is extremely well behaved - more so than the DC at times!!).

There are always free seats in first class, so if needs be, the staff will move you away from anyone who obviously wants / needs to work.

THey are most accomodating (and I take a 4 our trip from London to Newcastle)

I would def. recommend first class and think you will find you actually feel more comfortable and upset others less.

edam · 01/11/2009 13:37

btw, just discovered Virgin trains do backpacks for kids - you can get them from the buffet for free. Ds's had some chalk, a comic with wordsearches and puzzles, one of those pencils with lots of different colours and some stickers.

BUT buffet woman told me you can only get them early on - they just put one lot on in the morning so they've usually run out by lunchtime.

FlappyTheBat · 01/11/2009 13:52

I recently travelled 1st class with my dd's - aged 2 and 4.

They were fine on the way down and what should have been a five hour journey ended up taking 7.5 hours!

I just took lots of snacks, things to do and my laptop so they could watch a dvd.

It was the grown ups who made the most noise, conducting meetings on their mobile phone very loudly so everyone could hear what they were discussing!

Unfortunately, dd2 was a nightmare on the return journey and nothing would keep her still or quiet, so I spent a large part of that journey standing outside the carriage with her.

She might have annoyed a few people but I was trying to do something about her behaviour, it's not that easy when you are traveling on your own.

I will always travel 1st class for long train journeys and as someone else mentioned, it is easier for me as they staff are helpful and you get food and drink brought to your table. Much safer than trying to negotiate carrying food/hot drinks back to your table whilst holding on to a toddler.

teatank · 01/11/2009 14:31

flappythebat i think you deserve a medal coping with 2 toddlers on a train for that lengh of time.

i think people who manage to get annoyed by children cant be very nice people anyway. how could you possably be annoyed by a child.

i get annoyed by people on laptops using mobiles and shouting loudly making sure you hear how IMPORTANT they are.

wicked · 01/11/2009 16:44

Some children can be exceedingly annoying though. I don't think it is reasonable to expect infinite tolerance.

Some children are feral thugs.

AuntieMaggie · 01/11/2009 17:05

I travel quite a lot by train and can get loads of work done that way - besides you taxpayers are still paying my wages while I'm travelling so would you rather I read Heat?

We travel by train as it's cheaper and more friendly to the environment in most cases.

I love kids - but nothing worse than kids making loads of mess with various food/drink whether I'm working or not. And the parents not cleaning up after them. Much worse than them running around.

BecauseImWorthIt · 01/11/2009 17:07

"how could you possably be annoyed by a child."

OMG. Do you actually have any children, teatank?!

FlappyTheBat · 01/11/2009 17:24

teatank, I was annoyed by a child on that particular train journey - my own child!

she is soooo lucky that she didn't get dumped off the train at newcastle and made to make her own way back home!!!

Stayingscarygirl · 01/11/2009 22:42

Flappy - I've been there too! On one journey with all three dses who were under the age of 6 at the time, I only survived the journey thanks to the precious gift of alchohol - that gin and tonic saved my sanity and saved the boys from being sold to the first bidder.

Disclaimer - dh was with us, so I wasn't in sole charge of the children whilst under the affluence of inchahol.

mathanxiety · 02/11/2009 00:22

Will always be grateful to the very nice Aer Lingus stewardess who kept on plying me with those little bottles of wine on a particularly poo-filled trip from the US. God bless you, whoever you were

sunnydelight · 02/11/2009 00:36

I'm rolling around laughing at the "how could you possibly be annoyed by a child" comment. I'm guessing you're the parent who lets your kids run riot while you stand there doing nothing with that "oh, aren't they so cute" look on your face teatank!

mathanxiety · 02/11/2009 00:47

I'm with teatank. The children who seem to be so annoying are on public transport, with tickets, or they are in public places. The annoyed adults have no right to expect peace and quiet in either environment, either from other adults or from children. It is unreasonable to expect others to tiptoe around you or your precious work if you insist on doing it outside of your office.

BecauseImWorthIt · 02/11/2009 08:32

"It is unreasonable to expect others to tiptoe around you or your precious work if you insist on doing it outside of your office."

Why is it so difficult to accept that some of us travelling on trains have to work? I don't insist on it! I'd more than happily sit and quaff Virgin's free wine/g&t if I could!

ErikaMaye · 02/11/2009 08:45

It bothers me more people having loud, detailed conversations on trains than having a child crying, chatting, laughing, playing or whatever.

But what matters is the fact that you - and your little one - have just as much right to use 1st class as anyone else. If you want to do it, do it! I'd kill for an even slightly comfier seat on a train so am rather jealous

HSMM · 02/11/2009 08:55

We travelled 1st class on a 7 hr journey to Scotland with a toddler and it was lovely (fortunately carriage was empty of anyone but us).

Stayingscarygirl · 02/11/2009 09:16

Mathanxiety - I don't think anyone is expecting children to sit in silence on all public transport, or that a train carriage should have a library-like ambience of peace and quiet for those wishing to work. I think what people are expecting is a reasonable standard of behaviour, and some consideration for other people who have also paid to use that public transport - and may, as BIWI so rightly says have to work!

Everyone should behave with consideration for others on public transport - and that includes children just as much as it includes businessmen having loud conversations on their mobile phones.

There is a happy medium between a child sitting utterly still and in total silence, and a child running up and down the carriage, yelling, knocking into other people and generally being a pain in the backside. All people are asking for is that parents on public transport make their children behave with a reasonable level of consideration.

I have travelled with children a lot on the train - dh gets free travel for the family - and I have always made sure that my children behave nicely. They aren't perfect, but we do our best.

Original poster
Baconsarnie · 02/11/2009 14:35

Scottishmummy, you're right, it is a tame AIBU, but it's my first one, and it was a genuine question. Suppose it was more of a WWYD...
Anyway, I've booked the tickets now, so first class here we come!

OP posts:
FlappyTheBat · 02/11/2009 14:39

Enjoy the journey Baconsarnie!

badietbuddy · 02/11/2009 14:41

I think yabu. I wouldn't do it. Most trains now have a designated 'family' coach where the noise doesn't matter. Having worked in a solicitors pre-dc, we would always book them in first class for the very reason that they could work- to a solicitor time is quite literally money so they can't just sit idly back and watch the scenery like the rest of us.