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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to travel first class on the train with an 18mo?

100 replies

Baconsarnie · 31/10/2009 13:58

Am visiting parents in a few weeks with 18mo DS. The train journey is about two hours long, and obv it can be a bit of a trial with DS. He loves trains, but doesn't keep still, will want to walk up and down, press the button to open the door at the end of the carriage etc. He's not too noisy tho, or at least I'll do my best to keep him quiet. So, would I be unreasonable to book a first class ticket? Two singles are quite cheap on Virgin as we'll be travelling off-peak. The upside will be more space, fewer people to annoy/charm, a higher chance of getting two seats to ourselves, and just general all round comfort. But is that unfair to the other people who might be travelling for business or who might have paid more for a bit of peace and quiet?

OP posts:

bigchris · 31/10/2009 14:41

bwiw - I don't mind you working on a train
but I would ignore you if you frowned at my kids being kids on a train (obviously sticking their fingers in your drink would not be acceptable!)

Lilymaid · 31/10/2009 14:46

"I don't get this
I don't get why people try to work on trains
it's a train not a library"

Um, because lots of people have to do business travel and are expected to be preparing for meetings etc whilst travelling and because jobs aren't just for the moments when you are sat in your desk.

That doesn't mean OP isn't equally entitled to book 1st Class, but she should be considerate of the needs of others on the train - as she appears to be.

Stayingscarygirl · 31/10/2009 14:47

I think you are all being a bit hard on BIWI - people are expected to pack so much work into the day that time spent travelling cannot be seen as time off.

Dh travels a lot for work, and mostly by train. He has to use that time on the train to prepare for meetings or to do other work - if he didn't he'd either have to spend even longer at work, or do far more work at home. Working on the train is a better option, imo.

Even if no-one was working, people would still want a certain level of peace on the train - so they could read a book in peace, or perhaps knit without the wool being messed up by a sticky child - so parents should still be ensuring that their children behave reasonably well, even if no-one is working.

I don't expect perfection from children on the train, but there's a level of noise and fuss that is reasonable and doesn't make other travellers' journeys miserable, and provided parents are trying to achieve this, I'm happy - and it's what I always aimed for when travelling with the boys.

Stayingscarygirl · 31/10/2009 14:48

Sorry - cross-posted with bigchris and lilymaid, who aren't being hard on BIWI.

bigchris · 31/10/2009 14:49

I realise people have to work on trains
but they have to realise children have to travel on trains too and aren't going to be quiet just because someone is working on a laptop. Ear plugs, ipods could work well
I guess consideration goes both ways

teatank · 31/10/2009 14:49

lilymaid people arnt against people working on trains they are just against pampering to them

Original poster

Baconsarnie · 31/10/2009 14:51

Thanks for all your replies! The general consensus seems to go first class (it works out about £15 more expensive in total). There's no way I'd let him wander up and down the carriage, but we'd try to get a seat at one end where there's a bit of space and he can wander there if need be. I do take TabithaWitches' point that people in standard class should be shown the same amount of consideration as those in first class. But the at-seat buffet service does appeal!
The cheap tickets have probably gone by now...

OP posts:

bigchris · 31/10/2009 14:51

ooh good luck

Stayingscarygirl · 31/10/2009 14:54

Teatank - my point is that most people want the train to be reasonably peaceful - not library-silent, but an acceptable level of background noise - and that's the same whether I am trying to read my book or do the crossword, or dh is trying to work. It's just being considerate - not pandering to people wanting to work.

Bigchris - you're right - the consideration should go both ways.

bitofadramaqueen · 31/10/2009 14:55

Go for it - I would always try and book first class when travelling by train with DS for the extra space more than anything. We've never had any problems, and because there's usually lots of empty seats we usually end up with a table to ourselves.

BecauseImWorthIt · 31/10/2009 15:49

BTW - I wasn't saying children shouldn't be allowed into first class at all. Read my post. What I objected to was people who didn't control their chidren, which the OP has stated she will do.

And teatank. I would love a train to be just that. But unfortunately in the world of (my) work, sometimes it has to become my office. I have no alternative.

Thank you SSG for the support!

BecauseImWorthIt · 31/10/2009 15:51

And I don't expect to be pandered to either, just because I'm in first class or because I'm working. I'm not sure where I ever said that.

foxinsocks · 31/10/2009 15:53

first class on virgin is definitely worth it

no fighting for the buffet bit, you get snacks and a cup of tea (well I did last time) and lots more space

there will be lots of people working but there will be in standard class too tbh

just travel out of rush hour if possible, if only to avoid a totally packed train

Morloth · 31/10/2009 15:56

Do you know I don't think I would have even considered not booking business/first just because I have a kid.

You pay for the ticket you are entitled to be there. Kids happen, as long as you are doing your best to keep him quiet and for god's sake don't let him go up to people to "charm" them (it isn't charming), I can't see the problem.

We often fly business for the reasons you have stated, more room, less people and on planes it means more air crew to assist.

MonsterousNasalPustule · 31/10/2009 16:02

Go for it, when i have travelled there has often been just a couple of people per carriage and if you choose the one right at the begining you have a bigger chance of having it to yourself IMO

jumpjockey · 31/10/2009 18:26

I took dd first class on the train to London (about an hour's journey) when she was about 5 months just because it was the only way to (nearly) guarantee a seat to be able to bf her in without the next door person being kicked all the time. No first class carriages, just sections of about 10 seats one at each end of the train. The other passengers in there were fine as she was pretty quiet.

However now that she's toddling I deliberately choose the bit of carriage near the lobby area, so she can get out and about with me holding her hands. Last time we were on the train a guy plugged in his laptop across the aisle by where I was sat with her(even though it said no passengers to plug anything in) and she was trying to go for the cable, which meant I couldn't let her down on the floor, had to keep her on my knee and of course she got cross and kept wriggling out and being noisier than usual, and he was giving me evils the whole time. So who was in the wrong in that situation?

Morloth · 31/10/2009 18:27

No-one jumpjockey just one of those things.

Bigmouthstrikesagain · 31/10/2009 18:41

I have a 5 hour train journey to manage when travelling to see my mother 2 hours on an intercity the rest on local services/ tube. Last Easter I went first class as I couldn't book a table anywhere else and there was no way I was risking not getting a table as I had 3 children between 6 months and 4 years with me.

It is always quieter and more comfortable and we were able to spread across two tables - bliss! When the rest of the journey is hellish I feel justified booking a bit of comfort.

So op u are wise and not unreasonable in the least!

mathanxiety · 31/10/2009 18:42

If you pay for it and they allow children into First Class, than do it. Your money is as good as anyone else's. If anyone wants peace and quiet that much on a trip, take a limo. Trains are public transportation.

edam · 31/10/2009 19:29

I practically grew up in First Class (my Dad worked for BR and had unlimited FC travel for the family). Never had any funny looks from other passengers. Until I got to be a teenager and started travelling on my own. The suits used to really look down their nose at this kid in her ripped jeans and converse. When the guard came along, I could see them all waiting for me to be thrown out. I loved it, because there was always some stuck-up businessman being made to shift because he'd got the wrong type of ticket, while I sat in splendour. (And usually had a lovely chat with the guard.)

pranma · 31/10/2009 19:30

Go for it!I occasionally treat myself to a first class ticket using my railcard-I love it and would love to see a toddler there too.

edam · 31/10/2009 19:31

Mind you, it's a hell of a let down when you grow up and they take your privilege pass away because you aren't a dependent any more.

Confuzzeled · 31/10/2009 19:41

I always look out for good deals when I visit my Mum. It's a 3 hour train journey and it's much comfier in first class. I have a 2.7yo dd and a 9wo ds. Ds is pretty quiet, has the odd scream when he's hungry. Dd gets bored and sometimes needs to go for a walk. I always take plenty for her to do.

I have always been treated well by staff in first who have helped with baby and my buggy. Passengers all seem the same in first and standard class. If dd kicks up a fuss then you get the occasional look, but generally people expect a bit of noise from kids.

Qally · 31/10/2009 19:45

I do it at at weekends, as the upgrade if booked early is only a fiver or so. The Coffee Lounge at Euston alone is worth that! Has fabulous bead threading stands my son adores, and nice loos, and snacks and coffee/tea and soft drinks, and a tv. You then get drinks and snacks brought to you at your seat, lots of extra space, a plug for the laptop so you can quietly play an In The Night Garden DVD if all else fails. A no-brainer IMO. And actually people have been nothing but kind and helpful in any class. (Though obviously toys, cuddles, distractions like dvds etc. are employed as far as humanly possible, so meltdown is less likely.)

As for "book standard class! Sorry!" Er, how extraordinarily, nay breathtakingly selfish. Why should we make an active decision to potentially annoy many more people? A 1st class carriage has, by definition, far fewer passengers. In fact if people can afford it I think it's MORE considerate to travel that way. Not less. A person isn't somehow a more tender flower purely because they can afford a more expensive ticket - and cheek-by-jowl with a screaming toddler or baby is far less avoidable in crammed, packed carriages. And anyway, that's what "quiet" first class carriages are for - baby, mobile and chatter free.

Sassybeast · 31/10/2009 21:42

YANBU. If you can afford a first class ticket, then go for it and enjoy. I echo those who have said that trains are public modes of transport and if one wants silence one should have a chauffeur

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