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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to at cheese and cake and drink a teensy bit of wine occasionally?

30 replies

EccentricaGallumbats · 29/10/2009 17:52

I am fat.

I am trying to lose weight.

How come this means not having my favourite things when normal size people seem to be able to have a sandwich for lunch or a biscuit with coffee or a glass of red in the evening?

I am on day 3 and am in need of cheese. and wine.

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 29/10/2009 17:54

I know. It's not fair, is it?

Mind you, if you low carb then you can eat cheese! Fat is encouraged.

StarlightMcKenzie · 29/10/2009 17:55

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doingthelambethwalk · 29/10/2009 17:56

I am too but doing Weightwatchers points online - I am happy to use up points on wine and have less pasta or whatever!

Biscuits, cakes and chocolate and bought sandwiches all seem to send me over my points limit unfortunately.

So I would suggest a glass of white wine or vodka and slimline tonic. But not cheese, sorry.

It's only day 3, your cravings are just playing with you at the moment!

Normal size people are allowed more calories than dieters because they are only maintaining and not losing weight. It's frustrating though!

StarlightMcKenzie · 29/10/2009 17:57

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Original poster
EccentricaGallumbats · 29/10/2009 17:57

but normal people eat sandwiches. and have wine.

dear god. I have about 5 stone to lose. am I going to be this grumpy for the next 3 years?

OP posts:
2rebecca · 29/10/2009 18:01

I agree that the overweight women I know seem to go on about cake, chocolate and ice cream far more than I do (BMI 24ish)and I eat them occasionally but if told I couldn't have them again it wouldn't worry me.
I cut out alcohol monday-thurs if I'm starting to put on weight, not a heavy drinker but a regular one, and cut down portion sizes.

StarlightMcKenzie · 29/10/2009 18:06

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Original poster
EccentricaGallumbats · 29/10/2009 18:09

my perceptions are too well embedded.

i want wine. and cheese.

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 29/10/2009 18:18

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ScottishBoris · 29/10/2009 18:26

Hi Electra,

I am fat too and on week five of the "rest of my life"...

The good news is that I've lost 12.5lbs in four weeks and have still managed various meals out and far too much vodka and diet coke. I have not, however, had any chocolate, crisps or anything tempting in the house and have drastically cut down on bread. It's boring and bleh and I could swap my children for some chocolate, especially the one who's been whinging all day but I've got a massive amount to lose and just have to focus on that rather than the 30 second satisfaction that a biscuit or bite of a sandwich will give me.

Keep motivated and don't give in, you'll feel so much better come weigh in time.

somewhathorrified · 29/10/2009 18:30

Making yourself miserable about this is not going to help you lose weight! In fact obsessing as you are is not good at all. Have a slither of cheese, have a mouthful of wine! Or better still say to yourself that if you are good you can have it as a treat tomorrow. It'll make you feel like you're not denying yourself and tbh really won't make a difference. If you feel bad about it, work out the calories and deduct it from your carb/treat allocation.

DeathbySummerfruit · 29/10/2009 18:36

I'm the same as you..I adore cheese, my downfall is croque monsieur, camembert, anything with cheese really and wine...I have put on 1 stone and a half since last year...

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 29/10/2009 18:41

You can have cheese, wine and cake, but in moderation, not every day, and within a worked out calorie allowance. Have a look at this site whick I love for weightloss, and which lets you have anything at all within reason

PoisonToadstool · 29/10/2009 18:43

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mwahahahamwahahahallyroger · 29/10/2009 18:49

I have piled on the pounds since stopping smoking at Easter
But I love food and I think I deserve cheese and cake and wine as I no longer smoke.
I am probably slim by many peoples' standard but all my clothes are too tight and look all wrong.

Generally I eat healthily, I don't snack, I take plenty exercise and I try and make sure I have balanced diet. but I do have a little home-made cake and cheese most days.
I cannot work out whether I shoudl switch to white wine (and lose all enamel on my teeth) or stick to red and just get fatter and fatter

sazzerbear · 29/10/2009 18:53

I have a sweet and savoury tooth plus little willpower so i'm doomed!

Original poster
EccentricaGallumbats · 29/10/2009 20:21

The most hugest annoying thing about my fatness is that I don't eat crap. I never eat crisps. rarely chocolate. never eat biscits or snack bars. I eat lots of vegetables and decent home cooked meals and rarely go out.

I do work shite hours which means my body is in starvation mode for 12 hours at a time so holds on to every calorie it can for as long as possible.

I am also genetically fat. I am fighting against nature.

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 29/10/2009 20:30

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 29/10/2009 21:08

Yes well you could eat only lettuce and still get fat if you ate enough of it. Also - starvation mode only kicks in after several weeks so I'm afraid you are making excuses EG. Likewise with genetically fat. (sorry)
What program are you using to los weight? Seriously, click on that link, you get a free trial for 24 hours, it's calorie counting but very very easy, and you can see what you really eat and why you are overweight.

Good luck. I hate being hungry or deprived, today I have had 2 toasted cheese sandwiches, a bottle of cider and a hot chocolate and I'm still within my calorie allowance, meaning I should still lose 1lb a week.

PoisonToadstool · 29/10/2009 21:33

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 29/10/2009 21:54

It is surprising how calories can build up. A spoonful of olive oil on your salad, a slice of toast, a serving of peanut butter, houmous, avocado etc etc, all seemingly small or healthy but can tip you over into excess calorie intake on a regular basis leading to weight gain. Basically (heath issues like PCOS and thyroid problems excluded) all people need a certain number of calories to exist. This is your maintenance number and varies according to sex, age, height, weight and activity level. You need to cut 500 out a day from that to lose 1lb a week. You can do that by eating less, burning more through exercise, or a combination of both.

If you don't lose weight it is because you are not reducing your calorie intake enough. You can enter starvation mode if you undereat consistently for several weeks but it's not a state you slip in and out of regularly, your calories should balance over 24 hours, you could eat them all at once and still lose weight if you controlled your intake.

EG - people all fast for 10-12 hours between dinner and breakfast, we are designed to go many hours without food without messing up our metabolisms. Sorry if I'm spouting off but I have honestly learnt so much about how our bodies work in terms of weight gain and loss through that site and it has opened my eyes big time.

emsyj · 30/10/2009 10:24

Totally agree with others who say naturally slim people just naturally eat less. I work with a very skinny girl who eats 'normal' things like cheese, wine, bread, cakes etc - but in much smaller quantities than I would want to! She can eat a portion of yummy toast from the cafe smothered in butter, but 3 hours later she's still full and doesn't want lunch - whereas I am off down to the sandwich shop.

Have you tried the Paul McKenna 'I can Make You Thin' book/CD? It really is very good. It's nothing to do with hypnosis or anything - he just sets out that thin people (naturally thin people, not obsessive dieters - who actually tend more often to be chubby now I think about it...) have a different attitude to food and different eating habits. You can learn these habits if you put in enough effort.

Weightwatchers is also very effective, but I found it made me food-obsessed and every time I ate something I was planning what I could have next, and when. It also made eating out a nightmare as it involved saving points (i.e. starving in advance) and having very limited choices.

YANBU to want to eat cake, cheese and wine. They all taste good. But if you are 5 stone overweight and you WANT to lose that weight (no problem if you don't - nobody cares except you) then you have to be realistic - trust me when I tell you that there are NO skinny people in the world eating as much as you do. You are that size because of what you eat. Others are slim because they eat what they eat. You haven't been dealt a bad deal - you have the same body as everyone else. It will respond to the type and quantity of food you give it.

BrokkenHarted · 30/10/2009 10:28

i disagree. i am naturally slim. i dont eat less as such. i eat tons of crap and not as much good stuff as i am meant to and i loose weight. i am doing the oposite to you. i am trying to eat as much cheese ect and no chocolate to put on weight. i hate it. it is a struggle. i am dizzy all the time at the moment i HATE being skinny!

Surley you can have a little treat every now and again?

Anyway, wish you all the best, i am sure it isn't easy. treat yourself in other ways (a massage sounds lurvley!!)

madamearcati · 30/10/2009 10:31

If you really want a treat , then work out how many calories it will amount to and do that much exercise to earn it.Once you have done the exercise and you still want the treat then dig in.But 10 to 1 you won't think its worth it !

madamearcati · 30/10/2009 10:32

sorry burn it nor earn it (well both really)