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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think DH is an arsehole considering I have just been sterilised?

30 replies

bonnyb1 · 29/10/2009 13:04

Ok he is bugging me now - I was sterilised on Tues because DH chickened out of being done himself, so I had it done because I am sick of having crap times with every form of contrapception known to man. I thought he might have took one for the team so to speak, seeing as I have had two c-sections, but no, too squeamish about having his family jewels messed with.
Anyway he has(rather grudgingly in my opinion) taken 2 days off work to care for the children, but I have not so much as had a bar of bloody dairy milk, let alone something as generous as a bunch of flowers. He has gone shopping with my eldest DD so this is his last chance to redeem himself, otherwise I am going to .............I don't know, sulk probably. Bah! It's still quite bloody painful too

OP posts:
StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 29/10/2009 13:09

I made sure I spelt it out to DH when I got sterilised that I expected copious amounts of chocolate, magazines, to be waited on ahnd and foot, etc. When he burnt the pizza for tea the first night I sobbed and sobbed.

Hope you feel better soon and that he brings you back some chocolate.

Missy8c · 29/10/2009 13:11

YANBU...he is being an arsehole. I'd be pissed that he didn't have the snip himself tbh but given that you obviously agreed at the final decision together I guess you are where you are. My OH is a bit thoughtless in that way too. It's like he needs telling how to be just a tiny bit sensitive. I put it down to him being a 'geek' and having a logical rather than emotional brain! lol.
Anyway, let's hope he returns with a massive bouquet and I wish you well xx

SorciereAnna · 29/10/2009 13:11

Call his mother/sister/aunt and ask her to ring him up and tell him to treat you with the tlc you deserve.

Original poster
bonnyb1 · 29/10/2009 13:24

Hmm he is back now, with no chocolate etc, not even the bloody magazine I asked him to get! (he couldn't find it) pathetic. Don't know why I bothered to get tubes clipped cos it will be the 12th of bloody never before he gets any.

OP posts:
carriedababi · 29/10/2009 13:27

what an arsehole

sorry hes treating you like that

Missy8c · 29/10/2009 13:29

Haha to your last comment bonny! Give me his number....I'll tell him the score! LOL

diddl · 29/10/2009 13:35

My husband had a choice-use condoms or have a vasectomy.

He chose the later!

Told him if I could "bear" to give birth he could "bear" to have a vasectomy.

YANBU-mind you,I didn´t buy him flowers or chocolates

And had to talk him into the day off after the op as well!

carriedababi · 29/10/2009 13:38

forgive me for being so nosey, but how do they tie tubes, go up via the fanjo or cut you open?

iwascyteenagewerewolf · 29/10/2009 13:39

his credit card

your internet connection

=

all your materials needs met at his expense

Lilyloooohhhh · 29/10/2009 13:42

YADNBU lol at why you bothered

Original poster
bonnyb1 · 29/10/2009 13:44

carriedababi - they do keyhole urgery, go in by your belly button come out in the middle of my d section scar. The student nurse showed me a picture of the clips inside me, I saw my own ovaries, that was a shock I can tell you!

OP posts:
Original poster
bonnyb1 · 29/10/2009 13:45

ha ha that is 'surgery' and 'c section', hard to type lay down!

OP posts:
Original poster
bonnyb1 · 29/10/2009 13:47

i'm not joking about the twelth of never, he will be blowing the cobwebs of his bits before he sees any action lol

OP posts:
carriedababi · 29/10/2009 13:47

thats major to me.

he def derserves a slap. the rotton swine

Fibilou · 29/10/2009 19:06

I join with those saying he is being a prize nob.

ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins · 29/10/2009 19:11

Yes he's being a nobber.

Hope you feel better soon!

nappyzonecantrunfortoffee · 29/10/2009 19:11

lol - my dh is a wimpy arse also and i was considering it myself but worry aboutt he 1 in 200 failure rate as that would be me for sure - did your clips look nice and secure - i think seeing them would be more reassuring - was it? I love your humour bonny! I am going for abstaining at the moment but keep falling off the wagon .

MrsToffeeCrisp · 29/10/2009 19:12

YANBU

Think you may need to show him this thread!

ConnieComplaint · 29/10/2009 20:35

My dh is very thoughtless too. Not purposely, he just does not think.

DD is 8 & I still remind him most days about not buying me flowers when she was born.... though to be fair, she was born at 5.30pm on C'mas eve, when most shops would have been closed anyway....

I'd just tell him though - or get one of the kids to do it!!

alicet · 29/10/2009 21:11

See maybe I'm low maintenance but I would be happy that he had taken the kids out so i could relax!

Dh didn't buy me flowers when ds's were born and tbh I was happy that he was there with me for all the time he was actually allowed and I am glad he was there rather than in the shops looking for flowers.

Not saying i don't understand where you are coming from - just my pov.

I do get why you are p*ssed off he didn't take one for the team - I too had 2 sections and if we were considering something irreversible it would def be my dh. Thankfully he agrees!

Original poster
bonnyb1 · 30/10/2009 22:41

hi nappyzone - I too was concerned about the failure rate but somehow I managed to blag a private hospital on the nhs and got 2 clips each side! Today the gas problem is killing me - they pump you up with air for the op, and somehow it gets onto your shoulders and it kills. Been popping the windeze all day to no avail. Red wine seems to be helping though...........
I'm with you on the low maintainance alicet but sometimes he just takes the piss - wasn't really expecting flowers, but a few cuppas and a bit of tea would have been nice! I did text him to tell him I was pissed off, he apologised profusely by text and now is keeping well out of my way which is probably making it worse

OP posts:
6feetundertheGroundhogs · 30/10/2009 22:46

Get yourself a couple of housebricks..

and tell him that unless he spoils you rotten, you'll be performing his sterilisation YOURSELF....

Twintummy · 30/10/2009 22:48

All I can say is INTERNET SHOPPING AND HIS CREDIT CARD!!! My DH is lovely but a thoughtless sod so I've bought countless anniversary, birthday and meday presents with his card and it's fab.

Hope you recover quickly soon. I'm thinking about it but I'm scared.

Original poster
bonnyb1 · 30/10/2009 22:53

i never allow him to get me presents like xmas or birthday without a list of potentials - last time I gave him free reign he bought me a swimming costume and an umbrella for xmas!! now you see what I'm up against.........
The credit card thing goes without saying but as I am in charge of house budget he doesn't really notice the impact it will just be me who is fretting about paying it.
I was a bit scared twintummy but i must say now the discomfort is wearing off I can't believe i will never ever have to worry about pills or coils or condoms ever again! It's quite liberating really.

OP posts:
JustAnotherManicMummy · 30/10/2009 23:03

OMG I read your post as "Ok he is buggering me now" and I couldn't work out why as you'd just been steralised and how you would type at the same time.

Now realise my mistake

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