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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be really annoyed with DH

19 replies

Wonderstuff · 29/10/2009 11:30

Our car won't start. Dh refuses to give up smoking and obviously isn't allowed to smoke in the house. His response to this is to smoke in the car, with the engine running, heaters on, and windows open (because I bitch if it smells of smoke). He gets to smoke in comfort reading his book. Now the car won't start.

OP posts:
MonsterousNasalPustule · 29/10/2009 11:58

Regardless to the window being open it will still retain a smokey odour.

Did he not shut a door or leave a light on to run down the battery? tho starting it and sitting in it and not driving it will also cause the battery to lose charge.

Stigaloid · 29/10/2009 12:10

Take him to a lung ward in a hospital. Get him to watch those dying of smoking related diseases and secondary cancers and see how each gasp for breath is a struggle for the body. Maybe he will the consider his health and yours as more important than a cigarette.

curiositykilled · 29/10/2009 12:12

stigaloid - good idea but the respiratory wards are all full of people with pig flu atm! Not sure it'd be a great plan! lol

Stupid DH, smoking in car bad for very many reasons... could he not have a smoking shed at the bottom of the garden?

Original poster
Wonderstuff · 29/10/2009 17:57

No garden sadly, but on the wish list for new house. Luckly next door neighbour was in and he did get it jump started in a few minutes. I so wish he would stop, annoys me that he gets all comfy, reads book, treats it as a nice break away from family life.. He was going to stop when he hit 30, when I was pg, when dd was born.. He has now run out of landmarks..

He is wonderful on all other counts.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 29/10/2009 18:03

My friend went on sex strike in the end to get him to give up. In fairness she was an ex-smoker and she absolutely couldn't stand the smell on him.

It took several years, then once he gave up she was all over him like a rash by all accounts

Original poster
Wonderstuff · 29/10/2009 18:10

Its worth considering CarGirl, I'll mention it to him.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 29/10/2009 18:30

My friend gave up when she was pregnant as her dh had agreed to as well. She was really not happy with him about it.

Original poster
Wonderstuff · 29/10/2009 18:56

Just mentioned it to him, his response was 'I'd rather you didn't'
The last deal we did have was if I learn to drive he will give up, I have my test tomorrow. ..

OP posts:
CarGirl · 29/10/2009 19:02

sounds like the no sex deal could be a winner.......

It would be better if he gave up because you passed your test though.

Original poster
Wonderstuff · 29/10/2009 19:06

That is pretty much the discussion we just had actually. He's gone out for a fag to think about it

OP posts:
CarGirl · 29/10/2009 19:08

Suggest you will have a trip to Ann Summers with the money saved by him no longer smoking?

So employ both a carrott and stick simultaneously.

Can't imagine that I'd be much up for snogging or anything else with someone who smoked.

Fibilou · 29/10/2009 19:10

I would just keep chucking his fags away. He'll either soon get the picture or it'll blow up into a huge row where you can speak your mind fuelled by rage ! But then I am a biatch

Original poster
Wonderstuff · 29/10/2009 19:24

We do have to time, um, intimate relations around fags 'cos I won't kiss him if he smells. I do frequently remind him that we will have alot more sex if he gave up, but seems t]o have zero impact . Up to now I have really felt that when I got with him he smoked and so I should really accept it, but now dd is here and we are getting older it angers me.

We have a joint account so throwing out his fags would be like chucking out my own money really.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 29/10/2009 19:31

A different friend is increasing the length of time post fag that she will kiss her bf etc! He's on a plan to have given up by the new year.

Seems to be working but there again it's "young love" still

shineoncrazycockchatter · 29/10/2009 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Wonderstuff · 29/10/2009 21:27

Shineon that is normally my attitude. It upsets me that he doesn't want to give up.

OP posts:
theworldsgoneDMmad · 29/10/2009 21:38

If DH "obviously isn't allowed to smoke in the house, I take it your young daughter never goes in the car...

Even if passing your test makes him give up, that won't be a lasting incentive for him to refrain.

I'm inclined to agree with Stigaloid. The real reason for him to give up is to ensure as little chance as possible of you or DD having to nurse him through terminal lung cancer, as I just have with my mother for the past 6 months.

Emotive, yes, but that's the cold hard truth he has to face.

Julezboo · 29/10/2009 22:31

Hide the car keys! Standing out in the cold may force him to quit now winter is coming.

On a more serious note. I nagged and nagged DH to quit. He did it in his own time. He smoked last weekend for the first time in months because he had a whopping tooth infection so I let it slide... He has quit again. Says it makes him feel horrible. I think the horrid pictures on the packets and the emotional adverts have given him the push

nula · 29/10/2009 22:40

I hate smoking .
But seriously, he is a grown up and you can't make that sort of choice for him.

I can see why it would make you sad though

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