To think I am NOT going to damage my DS's feet forever just because I don't get him 'fitted'?

[angel1976]

Ok, so DS is PFB. When he first started walking, we took him to Clarks to be duly fitted and my parents bought him his first pair of shoes (costs £28! ). Since then, he's had two more pairs of Clarks shoes and now I just cannot be arsed bear to do the whole shoe fitting thing again...

So he has one pair of shoes now - they are very cool Adidas Superstars trainers (he's 20 months old btw) that I bought on sale so not expensive at all. Thought they seem very comfy. And I have bought him a pair of fake Converse canvas sneakers from Next during the sale for when he goes into the next size.

My MIL (whom I do like mostly) was appalled when I happened to mention that DS has only one pair of shoes that he wears everywhere (including nursery) and they were the trainers (so not 'fitted' professionally). Well, once a week, I put his bare foot against the sole of the shoe and as long as they look like they fit, I think it's fine. It's not as if he is coming home with red marks on his feet or he's complaining his feet are sore.

Honestly, I want to know how many mums here take the whole shoe fitting thing seriously? I may now take DS to get his feet measured just so I don't feel so guilty but I hate the look of leather shoes and trainers just look so much more comfy. Am I seriously going to be damaging his feet for life just because I don't get his shoes 'fitted'? I also throw all the shoes he has outgrown off into the washing machine and dry them so that DS2 (due anyday!) can wear them and I think MIL's jaw hit the floor for a second time when I said that... I do come from another culture (my parents, when they visited, couldn't believe it when we did the whole Clarks shoe fitting thing! ) where this is a fairly foreign concept and I am sure we haven't suffered from it.

Help me NOT feel so guilty! Thanks!

I did understand how you feel until last week, but I think I've learnt my lesson...

Took DD (3.5yr) to Clarks for measuring. As usual they had about 3 pairs in her size (average), despite there being 20+ styles on shelves.

Anyhoo, horrible nasty patent pink mary jane ones were her fav, but I said nope, but DP was with us so was overuled and ended up having to buy stupid impractical 'party' shoes (we live in the country ffs). Was furious as also cost £30. TCALSS, mum gave me the money for the shoes, so I bought her some practical ankle boot style shoes from Next with a sturdy sole, leather, nice big velcro strap etc, damn things gave her a blister within 2 days! Boy do I feel like a crap mother still nowt to be done now, except lots of plasters and hope they break in!

Also had her feet measured in the summer at 2 separate Clarks shops and got different sizes in both!!

YANBU Ds's first shoes were clark's and we got them fitted but ever since then have bought him whatever shoes we like and check that they fit. I did go into Clark's once since then to 'check' his size but didn't like anything they had on offer so just walked out. Why should I spend £30 on a pair of shoes that we don't even like? I always check his shoes are not too tight/sloppy and check he doesn't have any red marks or blisters. Not everyone can afford to spend £30 a pop, especially if you have more than one dc.

Opinions do really vary on this topic doesn't it? TBH, I am still not 100% convinced but will make the effort to take DS to get fitted soon (maybe not at Clarks as I don't really have much faith in them from my experience so far...) just so I can make an 'informed' decision.

MIL rabbits on about how important it is but TBH, my DH has done a lot of damage to his feet just from sports and his toes (and nails) are a mess! Don't think any sort of shoes (sort of metal clad ones...) would have saved those toes!

DS does go to nursery 4 days a week and there's where my concern lies I guess as he is in shoes most of the day when he is there. He is barefoot at home most of the time as we have a 'no-shoes' past the hall policy in the house. Thanks all for your opinions, it's certainly interesting reading through them!

I think average shoes are fine if you have average feet. I am convinced that shoving a young DC's very wide feet into a shoe of average width is damaging in the long term. Unfortunately all shoe fitters are not good at their job-you need to pick a shoe shop that you have faith in.
I don't think any DCs should be wearing a shoe to make a fashion statement-they have a lifetime of that ahead and can wait.

I find that Clarks shoe sizes are bigger than other makes , so be very wary about getting them measured in Clarks and then assuming that the same size will be a good fit elsewhere.
I think it is imperative to make sure children's shoes are fitted properly ,whether by yourselves or a professional.

There was a lot of publicity about this when my kids were small, and some sort of specialist advised trainers because they are so adjustable along the length. Shoes with buckles weren't recommended because they do not adjust to the exact width of the foot, velcro or laces are better.

I don't usually post, but I will make an exception here as I fit shoes for a living!

Firstly, I wouldn't panic too much. Well fitting shoes are important, but I really wouldn't beat yourself up about it. Cheap shoes are fine, supermarket shoes are fine, trainers are fine (second hand are not so fine)- but do make sure yourself that they all fit correctly! If in doubt, don't be afraid to take them into a shoe shop and politely ask if they will fit check them. I do this a fair bit and I don't mind at all if the shop is quiet.

Also, don't go to Clarks, especially if it is just for a measurement. Clarks measurements are really only valid for Clarks shoes and don't help hugely if you want to buy your shoes elsewhere. I can't really say anything about the training they offer (I don't work for Clarks), but their measurements do seem to be all over the place, so I can only assume that they take on a lot of temporary staff. I spend most of my working day correcting their mistakes!

ooh I could write so much more but I'll leave it there 'cos it would boring , but I'm happy to answer any shoe related questions you might have.

PainSnail - Thank you for your advice! I do feel that if DS is not complaining, it can't be all that bad. Trust me, that boy is a bit of a whinger like his dad knows his mind and will let me know if they are hurting. Got his haircut today and oh my goodness, the amount of 'complaining' I got about hair in his vest and clothes that I had to take them all off in the end and let him run around in his nappy...

Could you give us a clue where you work?

Angel - always a pleasure, its nice to be useful . One thing though! Just read you've got him some converse style shoes for the next size up? To be brutally honest, I would probably ditch those. Converse are not so good for growing feet (they offer no support)and are strictly a fashion shoe. They aren't even that great for my adult feet! Maybe consider a leather shoe for the wintery months. Geox are quite a good comprimise, although they are expensive.

I work for an independent, thats all I shall say! I don't want to get in trouble with the company.

PainSnail Thanks! I will probably just keep the Converse-style shoes (thank goodness they only cost £6) for fashion purposes... I will take him to get fitted though. There's an independent fairly close to us that has Startrites so maybe I can try that shop before I condemn all 'fitted' shoes! LOL.

The whole 'Clarks shoe fitting thing' is a concept planted in our subconcious in this country by those with most to gain from its belief. Ie Clarks.

Once you see through that, the guilt of not going to Clarks religiously every time for shoes lifts.

Anyone with common sense can determine whether or not shoes fit.

I really do feel it's about time Clarks had some serious competition on the high street and maybe they would start pricing childrens shoes a little more competitively.

We always had our DCs shoes fitted, by an independent, not Clarks, after we were told by a relative who is an orthopaedic surgeon, that childrens' foot bones are still quite soft and therefore prone to damage until about 18 years of age. As he said, whilst the bones are still 'soft', you can cram them into the most unsuitable shoes and the children will not usually complain too much because their bones will adjust to accommodate the ill fitting shoes, rather than the shoes accommodating their feet IYSWIM.

I had poorly fitted shoes when I was a youngster and by the age of 12, had to have shoes from the hospital which were designed to correct some of the damage that had been done. That went on until I was about 16. I can't tell you how mortifying that was for an otherwise 'cool' teenager, not to be able to wear the fashionable shoes that all my friends were wearing! Though my feet are greatly improved, I still find it very difficult to get shoes to fit that don't look like something even my grandmother would have turned down on grounds of lookin 'old fashioned'!

If you don't like Clark's, fair enough, but there are other shops out there who do fitting and other shoe manufacturers who make different fitted shoes for children.

FWIW, I could never have fitted my DCs shoes myelf as due to sensory problems with my hands, I cannot feel where there toes are through the leather, so had no choice but to have someone else fit them for me.

You could always get him measured in Clarkes and then get BNIB shoes from ebay for about half the price? It's what I'm intending on doing next time around.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne - If you're intending to do that do have a look at
This site It's fab

Shoes need to fit correctly, that´s a given.

Surely the "dilemma" here is if you think you can do that yourself or if anyone other than Clarks can do it for you?

I think the answer is that it doesn´t have to be Clarks.

its no good getting your child measured in one shop and then getting shoes from another all shoes are different the shop I bought my children's shoes from was a full size bigger than Clark's measurement

TspookyChasm - hurrah! thank you

As others have said:

• yes, it is very important that shoes fit properly; and
• they should be of reasonable quality, and ideally made from natural materials.

BUT it is not necessary to have them fitted by an "expert". Fitting shoes is just common sense.

My mum (war time baby) had seriously deformed toes from several years of badly fitting shoes. Ended in the amputation of 2 toes. Personally I get my dcs feet measured and buy them a main pair of Clarks shoes plus cheapo additional trainers.

I'm trying to remember the first time I had a pair of new shoes... I think it would have been around 13 or 14 years old and I'm nearly dead certain that they would have been trainers. As the oldest of six kids in a poor family all of our shoes were bought second-hand and then passed down the line. Mother always checked to see if the toes fit etc etc etc, but often our shoes were either too big or too small, particularly the fancy "Sunday" shoes to be worn to church. We spent most of our lives barefoot.

I have ugly feet, but not particularly painful or deformed as such, just ugly. Perhaps I should blame my parents? Maybe I should blame them regardless as my toes are so small as to be nearly non-existant (and so are my fingers - despite a smallish-but-normal hand I cannot reach an octave on a piano and my mother has been doing special finger-stretches since childhood to be able to reach a 9th). It would be safe to say my small toes bring my shoe size down at least 1/2. I cannot think of how fitting would have solved this. 'Fitted' shoes always feel the worst because the bed of my foot is not where the shoe-maker seems to think it should be. It seems more likely to me that having fitted shoes from an early age would have just formed my feet to what the shoe-maker thought they should be, rather than what they would have naturally grown into.

I also find it incredibly hard to find comfortable shoes as an adult - doubly so since I have moved to the UK because for all the talk of high arches it appears that shoes here, even expensive ones, are made entirely without arch support and my arches ache after wearing shoes for a couple of hours that seemed comfortable in the shop.

Oddly enough, the heels are more comfortable than the flats and 'kitten' heels are the work of the Devil. I find my most comfortable shoes purchased here so far have been a pair of ankle boots with 4 1/2" heels - go figure. If I could find comfortable flats I would buy them. My kenneth coles are looking a bit worse for wear.

marenmj I was also raised virtually barefoot. Used to have soles like leather from walking on hot bitumen/sand etc.

I now find the most comfortable shoes to be hiking boots (preferably the Swiss brands). Am rarely to be found out of either these or nikes for training.

I do have some pretty heels but they are unbearable after about an hour.

DD has normal feet, she can wear shoes from anywhere (and therefore does!) Both Ds's have giant mahoosive hobbit fat feet, so they get fitted. I resent it - £34 for shoes for a 4 year old? MINE don't cost that!

That's only winter though, in the summer DS1 wears crocs and so do I