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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I am NOT going to damage my DS's feet forever just because I don't get him 'fitted'?

124 replies

angel1976 · 27/10/2009 21:55

Ok, so DS is PFB. When he first started walking, we took him to Clarks to be duly fitted and my parents bought him his first pair of shoes (costs £28! ). Since then, he's had two more pairs of Clarks shoes and now I just cannot be arsed bear to do the whole shoe fitting thing again...

So he has one pair of shoes now - they are very cool Adidas Superstars trainers (he's 20 months old btw) that I bought on sale so not expensive at all. Thought they seem very comfy. And I have bought him a pair of fake Converse canvas sneakers from Next during the sale for when he goes into the next size.

My MIL (whom I do like mostly) was appalled when I happened to mention that DS has only one pair of shoes that he wears everywhere (including nursery) and they were the trainers (so not 'fitted' professionally). Well, once a week, I put his bare foot against the sole of the shoe and as long as they look like they fit, I think it's fine. It's not as if he is coming home with red marks on his feet or he's complaining his feet are sore.

Honestly, I want to know how many mums here take the whole shoe fitting thing seriously? I may now take DS to get his feet measured just so I don't feel so guilty but I hate the look of leather shoes and trainers just look so much more comfy. Am I seriously going to be damaging his feet for life just because I don't get his shoes 'fitted'? I also throw all the shoes he has outgrown off into the washing machine and dry them so that DS2 (due anyday!) can wear them and I think MIL's jaw hit the floor for a second time when I said that... I do come from another culture (my parents, when they visited, couldn't believe it when we did the whole Clarks shoe fitting thing! ) where this is a fairly foreign concept and I am sure we haven't suffered from it.

Help me NOT feel so guilty! Thanks!

OP posts:
sarah293 · 28/10/2009 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Morloth · 28/10/2009 09:49

Well if you need a special shape I could see needing a fitting. But DS at 5 now wears a kiddies size 12 (and 11, the clubbed foot is a size smaller, we just buy the 12s) and they look like whoppers to me (but that could be because I have to buy bloody new ones every 4 months, growing room or not).

winestein · 28/10/2009 09:52

You beat me to it Piscesmoon! I think everyone can work out how long a child's foot is in a shoe, but wide feet need wide fitting shoes. Just so happens Clarks sell them and also provide a fitting service, which does come in handy for children who also have a high instep.

Frrrightattendant · 28/10/2009 09:53

I have known a few Japanese women who I noticed walked in an unusual way. Can anyone explain whether this is a direct result of something to do with their culture - I was thinking perhaps that some Japanese women might have differently shaped feet as a genetic result of the long ago foot binding practises. Or maybe it is just coincidence.

winestein · 28/10/2009 09:54

You can't apply that across the board Morloth. Cheap (or expensive) supermarket shoes are not suitable for my son (or Piscesmoon's by the sound of it) as they are not wide enough.

Frrrightattendant · 28/10/2009 09:56

Sorry, scratch that - just googled, footbinding nothing to do with japan, it was a Chinese thing

Excuse my awful ignorance! But why do they walk as though they are tripping? It is such a noticeable thing with the women I have known.

Morloth · 28/10/2009 09:57

But wouldn't you just need wider shoes rather than a special fitting? Wouldn't the same test apply? Get kid to try shoe on, if it is comfortable and a bit loose then buy? I am not having a go here BTW, just wondering why a wider foot would require an actual fitting rather than just a wider shoe?

Sassybeast · 28/10/2009 09:58

I wouldn't go near Clarkes if you paid me - poorly trained fitters and over priced shoes. That said I DO have to have fitted shoes for 2 of mine as they are under the care of a podiatrist for funny arches etc. I tend to have 1 pair of fitted shoes or boots and then buy trainers from Next etc. They don't wear shoes at all indoors (or outdoors if they can get away with it) soI think if you chose non fitted shoes, balance it our with leaving them barefoot as much as possible.

gagamama · 28/10/2009 10:00

YANBU. Surely even if you get shoes which are properly fitted and an absolutely perfect for their foot size, they only fit their feet that well at the exact time they were measured and not several days, weeks or months later? And surely if you vary sock thickness or wear tights or go barefoot or whatever, the fit of the shoes will change anyway?

I'm sure it's not as exact a science as Clarks et al. would have you believe!

winestein · 28/10/2009 10:03

I'm with you now Morloth - yes, I don't need him "fitted" as such - I just need shoes that fit. Generally speaking only Clarks shoes fit and occasionally I spot something that looks suitable elsewhere.

I suppose I do like having him fitted though as it saves money on the basis he often says something is comfortable and then changes his mind a week later!

Morloth · 28/10/2009 10:06

Ah, got it. I thought I was missing something. (wouldn't be the first time!).

The boy has turned out to be surprisingly easy to shoe (his little foot was pretty much vertical to his leg when he was born) and we thought we were in for a long time of special shoes and measurements and braces. So I have to say it does make me smile a bit when people with kid's who have bog standard feet go on and on and on about special shoes and fittings etc.

belgo · 28/10/2009 10:08

at Frightattendant - the book 'Wild Swans' has some interesting stories about foot binding.

Rollmops · 28/10/2009 10:25

Hah, the Clarks' 'highly qualified' fitters, don't get me started . A three year old with a crystal ball could to a more accurate job. .
I wonder how long is the training session Clarks offers to their new temporary employees, can't be more than a minute and a half going by the results.

posieparksherbroom · 28/10/2009 10:34

they are very cool Adidas Superstars trainers....
I think that really says it all.

Love PurpleZOMBIEs post.

Fashion trainers are dreadful for kids feet, loads of cushioning makes the foot quite squashed.

oldspeckledtam · 28/10/2009 10:38

I would love to buy clarks shoes for my DD. She is so narrow that they have nothing for her. (She's a c/d fitting on both feet)

I can't buy cheap shoes as they don't stay on her feet. They don't even tough the sides, usually.

Sometimes I can get startrite to come up small enough. I had to buy a vastly overpriced european brand last time at a staggering £45. She is 3.

I hate shoe shopping for her. I never let her look at what's on display as I know nothing will be suitable.

I have to get my DD shoes that are fitted. I'm refusing even to put socks on my DS in the hope that his feet will be wider!

This is not a new problem- I'm a c/d fitting myself and struggle to find any shoes that fit. I live in trainers and I have one pair of work boots that I bought in the kids clarks section of an outlet store 3 years ago. (d fitting!) They look like kittens should live in them now, but I can't find any others that stay on!

bumpybecky · 28/10/2009 10:54

dd1, dd2 and dd3 all have very narrow feet, both normally D fitting. The older two are now 11 and 9. I'd hoped by now their feet would have got wider, but no I'd love to be able to buy supermarket shoes or cheapy trainers etc just to have the choice would be nice.

As it is we can normally get startrites to fit, but quite often have to have insoles too

alwayslookingforanswers · 28/10/2009 12:25

winestein - some supermarket shoes aren't suitable for DS2 and 3 (both H width) - but others are.

Just like when you walk into Clarkes you may be offered 10 pairs of F width shoes, but just one or 2 pairs (if you're lucky) of H width - they're just harder to come by/

And I still want to know how you know whether our child has a high instep or not??

This is something in 9yrs (ok actually about 7 1/2yrs as DS1 didn't walk until he was 18 months old) I've never had mentioned to me - despite havig their feet measured before I buy them any new shoes.

winestein · 28/10/2009 12:35

Just quickly Alwayslooking (I'm just on my way out..), a high instep is apparent as you have something like a bridge underneath your foot - a high arch. The top of the foot is correspondingly higher - for me, it means I can't wear a lot of boots and shoes with straps over as the velcro just won't reach. For DS it means he can't have those brown rigger style boots currently on the clarks website, his current obsession!! (the boots, not the website!)

alwayslookingforanswers · 28/10/2009 12:37

ahhh - I guess my DS's have normal ones then as it's never been mentioned to me.

Surely then the problem of having a high instep means that you won't get the shoes on in the first place - so blatantly obvious they're a "bad" fit (confused one)

winestein · 28/10/2009 12:38

You need to tell me where you find your supermarket shoes too Alwayslooking. I rarely find anything (and usually canvas).

alwayslookingforanswers · 28/10/2009 12:38

well actually I usually shop in ShoeZone - not supermarkets - Morrisons doesn't sell shoes and I can't get to the others that do

RubberDuck · 28/10/2009 12:45

M&S has a good selection at the moment, particularly for school shoes. They do wide fitting as well as normal fitting and some half sizes. Not as cheap as the supermarket but cheaper than Clarks et al and better quality. I spent £18 per pair on school shoes there for the dses this year which is a huge saving.

Casserole · 28/10/2009 13:10

Weeelllll...

You CAN damage children's foot development with badly fitting shoes, but IMHO they'd have to be really badly fitting and worn day in day out for a long time for that damage to be severe. So I think YABalittlebitU for not wanting to properly fit their shoes.

However I don't think you're being unreasonable to not want to pay Clarks £30 every few months for the privilege! I would say either get his feet measured at Clarks, or another shoe shop with trained kids fitters, or else learn how to do it properly yourself - and then, as long as they don't have particularly oddly shaped feet, shop wherever you want for shoes that match that fit.

DS has ridiculously high arches, like DH, so I'm sticking to Clarks at the moment - no-one else's shoes fit him - but I'm sincerely hoping that won't be the case forever as it does gall me to pay more for his shoes than my own!!!!

thatsnotmymonster · 28/10/2009 13:20

Well my dd2 has only had one pair of first shoes from clarks all the rest are hand me downs from her older cousin. Unfortunately she can't really wear dd1's shoes as dd1 has a D width fitting whereas dd2 is E/Fish so the majority of the shoes are too narrow.

DS's shoes have happily been passed down to younger cousins and we have had shoes (mainly trainers) from older cousins. However I usually try to make sure they have one pair of new fitted shoes and an array of hand me down shoes which means they have plenty of options and the shoes don't get so worn.

belgo · 28/10/2009 13:43

Of course you can damage feet by badly fitting impractical shoes (just look at Posh's feet), but you don't need to be a professional shoe fitter to know when a shoe fits properly.

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