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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I am NOT going to damage my DS's feet forever just because I don't get him 'fitted'?

124 replies

angel1976 · 27/10/2009 21:55

Ok, so DS is PFB. When he first started walking, we took him to Clarks to be duly fitted and my parents bought him his first pair of shoes (costs £28! ). Since then, he's had two more pairs of Clarks shoes and now I just cannot be arsed bear to do the whole shoe fitting thing again...

So he has one pair of shoes now - they are very cool Adidas Superstars trainers (he's 20 months old btw) that I bought on sale so not expensive at all. Thought they seem very comfy. And I have bought him a pair of fake Converse canvas sneakers from Next during the sale for when he goes into the next size.

My MIL (whom I do like mostly) was appalled when I happened to mention that DS has only one pair of shoes that he wears everywhere (including nursery) and they were the trainers (so not 'fitted' professionally). Well, once a week, I put his bare foot against the sole of the shoe and as long as they look like they fit, I think it's fine. It's not as if he is coming home with red marks on his feet or he's complaining his feet are sore.

Honestly, I want to know how many mums here take the whole shoe fitting thing seriously? I may now take DS to get his feet measured just so I don't feel so guilty but I hate the look of leather shoes and trainers just look so much more comfy. Am I seriously going to be damaging his feet for life just because I don't get his shoes 'fitted'? I also throw all the shoes he has outgrown off into the washing machine and dry them so that DS2 (due anyday!) can wear them and I think MIL's jaw hit the floor for a second time when I said that... I do come from another culture (my parents, when they visited, couldn't believe it when we did the whole Clarks shoe fitting thing! ) where this is a fairly foreign concept and I am sure we haven't suffered from it.

Help me NOT feel so guilty! Thanks!

OP posts:
thesecondcocking · 27/10/2009 23:02

personally i think superstars soles are too rigid for lo's (mine is just 2) and her converse were seeming to make her flat footed and trip up.
We have clarks,wellies,asda slippers and some pink snakeskin converse-she alternates between her cons,her wellies and her clarks-i do think she runs/jumps better in her clarks though-don't know why?

Squishabelle · 27/10/2009 23:19

YANBU - we are all guilt-tripped into going to Clarks. I did with dc1. Never bothered with dc2. Made no difference whatsoever.

piscesmoon · 28/10/2009 08:20

I am with weinstein. My mother would never compromise on shoes, she cut down on other things. I am very grateful now because I have very healthy, straight feet. I think it is OK if you have a DC with average feet but mine were very wide with the high instep. My DSs also have very wide feet. It gives a good start in life. Eventually I had to give in when they got to teen years and wanted 'cool' trainers but I don't believe that a 20 month old needs to be 'cool' about footwear.They are happy with any shoes and it is much better that they fit. Bones in a baby's foot are so soft that you can do a lot of damage if not properly fitted.

sarah293 · 28/10/2009 08:24

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WoTmania · 28/10/2009 08:25

Do you have a clarks outlet centre near you?
Or any other good shoe shop. They tend to be cheaper but still fit the shoes properly.
My DSs both have high insteps (so do I and it is still difficult to find decently fitting shoes) and DS1 has really narrow feet (again - me too) and if I just got him any old pair in his size he would probably walk out of them.

EyeballsintheSky · 28/10/2009 08:27

Another one with a Clarks obsessed mother who also did without other things but would never ever buy our shoes anywhere else. DD has some Next casual things for kicking around but her 'proper' shoes are Clarks. My mother would disown me if I didn't do that.

My feet are lovely

Ceebee74 · 28/10/2009 08:32

DS1 is now 3.3 and I have had a mix of 'fitted' Clarks shoes and cheap trainers etc from Next/supermarkets.

Unfortunately, DS1 walks with one of his feet turned in slightly and when he wears the cheap shoes, it definitely becomes more pronounced....so I have vowed that he is only to have Clarks shoes now!! Shame cos he loved his Thomas trainers that lit up

alwayslookingforanswers · 28/10/2009 08:33

My DS's have wide feet too - (2 H's and an average F), haven't got a clue about their instep - never once been mentioned to me despite the fact that I've always got their feet measured before buying shoes (just never had shoes fitted).

I think DH's feet are pretty wide as well as he has a nightmare trying to find shoes that are wide enough for him.

I'm afraid I don't see a running, climbing toddler as a baby any more - either - obviously a baby forced into shoes is a bad idea,.

I don't feel I had a bad start in life by not having shoes fitted, and DH certainly didn't either (only difference was my mum was frowned on for not getting shoes fitted and no-one even thought to criticise his mum)

Ceebee74 · 28/10/2009 08:33

Also, DS1's feet don't seem to grow particularly fast and he only ever has one pair of shoes at a time which he wears everywhere so there is no way I could hand them down to DS2 as they are wrecked by the time he needs new ones!!

Besides, DS2 has got that many hand-me-downs that I swore he would always have new babygros/PJ's and shoes - it makes me feel better

alwayslookingforanswers · 28/10/2009 08:35

PMSL @ "Mutant feet"

diddl · 28/10/2009 08:35

Never been a "shoe fitter" here, either.

All I would say that I did do was have bare feet/socks in the house and shoes only when necessary iyswim.

The children are now at secondary school and keep shoes on all day at school.

But in kindergarten & primary school, all the children have slippers & wear the shoes only when outdoors, which I think was great.

RamblingRosa · 28/10/2009 08:37

Not going to say YANBU or YABU but I've definitely bought into all the hype about how important it is to get feet measured. I actually don't really like Clarks and have had lots of experiences of DD's feet being measured wrong there and having to take shoes back.

I bought a gauge from startrite which gives me an idea of whether her feet have grown significantly and then I take her to somewhere like John Lewis (where the staff are much better trained than Clarks IMO) and get her fitted. I once just bought some sandals straight off the startrite website and they were great too.

I don't know if everything they tell you about the importance of properly fitted shoes is true but a) it sounds plausible to me and b) I don't want to take any chances.

diddl · 28/10/2009 08:39

Shouldn´t all people working in a shoe shop be able to measure a child´s foot & tell you whether or not it fits correctly?

sarah293 · 28/10/2009 08:39

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alwayslookingforanswers · 28/10/2009 08:40

I'm intrigued about the instep thing - how do you all know??

BetterBitOfButter · 28/10/2009 08:40

DS has very wide feet ... unless I go to a shop that does shoes in widths, ie Clarks or in my case a local independent that sells Clarks products, I cannot squeeze his fat little trotters into "standard" shoes from Next etc.

I'd love it if I could ... I could get about 3 pairs of shoes for myself for the price of one pair of his.

belgo · 28/10/2009 08:41

I've also never had my children's feet fitted for shoes.

If they fit, they fit, I don't need someone to tell me that, my children are perfectly capable of telling me that themselves. They are rather 'delicate' girls and they refuse to take a single step if a shoe is less then perfectly fitting.

They also have bare feet all the time at home.

Miggsie · 28/10/2009 08:44

My toes are deformed from having badly fitted shoes when a child (I had to have second hand shoes from friends).

Both my big toes are bent.

I always get DD properly fitted for her school shoes.

For occasional shoes and sandals I will buy "off the peg" but only after having had her size checked.

EyeballsintheSky · 28/10/2009 08:45

DD has a high instep. Buggered if I can tell the difference...

alwayslookingforanswers · 28/10/2009 08:45

Better - admittedly trying to find wide shoes is hard in other shops, but ime no different to trying to find wide shoes in a Clarkes shop.

You only need to look a the Clarkes website -

316 kids shoes in size G
63 kids shoes in size H

And that's online!

Wider fitting shoes are just harder to find.

I have bought clarkes shoes once or twice (in 9 years of parenting) and each time was offered just one pair of shoes with an H fitting.

piscesmoon · 28/10/2009 08:47

It is my real bugbear that adult shoes come in one standard size, unless you pay more. I think they should all do several widths for each size. Mine rarely fit properly because I often have to have a helf size bigger to get them wide enough.

I think that children should be kept out of trendy shoes for as long as possible-you will have plenty of pressure from them later on.

Sharpyharpy · 28/10/2009 08:48

Used to be a Clarkright but after 3 pairs that rubbed even after being sold insoles and then like another poster being offered the size up when they did not have dd3's e fitting in a black school shoe - I am now a trust your own judgement - geox ( very sturdy /well made) for my oldest boys wide feet and lelli kelly from ebay - (they do do some very nice black shoes/boots!)for dd3 as has very thin feet and the italian shape seams to suit her

diddl · 28/10/2009 08:48

Thinking about it, is it really that hard to measure for size & then feel for where the toe is etc?

I think it´s a bit insulting to make us think we aren´t capable, tbh!

sarah293 · 28/10/2009 08:49

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MunchMummy · 28/10/2009 08:50

I wish I could buy cheaper shoes, but am stuck with the expensive ones as my DD1 is a width D (very very narrow) and all the ones I've tried from Next etc just slop around on her feet they are so wide. DD2 is looking like she has normal width feet, so am hoping not to have to buy her Clarks all the time.
Up to you, I'd get them professionally measured and then go elsewhere if I could. (sigh, DD1 would love a pair of sparkly party shoes but none of them fit her, so she has to have what will fit in the shop, horrible black school looking ones - for a 3yr old).