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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hubby put my beautiful pushchair in his manky boot when I specifically asked him not to!

111 replies

cancantcan · 27/10/2009 19:59

Bit of background, I'm VERY careful with my pushchairs, and like them to look nice. about 2 months ago, my husband put a pushchair I had sold in the boot of his car (which is filthy as he carries oil etc around in it) without my knowing, and it ended up with a manky stain on it and I ended up scrubbing it clean at work while waiting for the courier. Needless to say I was NOT impressed and forbade him ever to put my pushchairs in his scabby boot ever again.
Fast forward to today. He forgot to pick pushchair up from my mums when he collected DD yesterday, I forgot tonight, I had arranged to get it tomorrow, but then he got time wrong for a meeting at church and thought he would do me a favour and nip up to get it tonight for me, which I greatly appreciate BUT despite me having specifically asked him to put it in the front of the car which I know is clean, he has ignored me and put it in the boot. I have just paid £80 for a new hood and footmuff from poshbugs (he knows this and knows how much it cost me, and that I have saved my own hard earned cash). He cant understand why I am so pissed off that he ignored me.

am I being unreasonable to be angry at him for risking ruining £80 of covers when I specifically asked him to put the pushchair in the front?

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 27/10/2009 22:15

she didn't say the5 yr old used the buggy though

she said she has a 5 yr old and a 3 yr old

and that her dd is too old but she usees it anyway... that could bethe 3 yr old!!

i don't think you're being unreasonable actually OP.

your dh got oil on a pushchai before. you asked him specifically not to do it again because it wpould spoil it if it got oil on.
he chose to just ignore you and do it aynway, so no, not unreasonable.

i would expect my dp to have a bit of respect for my wishes (even if he thought it was daft!), and not to risk rujinng a pushchair just cos he thought he was right

and bearing in mind you'd be the one cleaning it/replacing bits I think you're justified in asking him to put it in the front!!

diddl · 27/10/2009 22:16

As I previously said-get a cover for his boot or to put on the backseat!

diddl · 27/10/2009 22:17

Forgot to say YANBU if there is oil about!

ThisPhantomPlopsPumpkins · 27/10/2009 22:17

Which one do you have OP? (I'm trying to decide on a pram for my expected DC3, you seem like a good person to ask )

AitchTwoToTangOh · 27/10/2009 22:20

i think you are being a terrifically good sport about this, cancan, and your dh should just do what he's bloody well told in future.

citybranch · 27/10/2009 22:21

YANBU

I've tried a good few pushchairs because I don't drive so I'm always on the look out for the perfect one...good on buses, one piece fold, good wheels for the forest, size of seat because DS is big but DD is small etc. My DH has learned to understand it and as long as I snap up bargains (like you I usually get back what I paid or more) he is totally understanding. Even going so far as to mention the pushchairs he sees on the way to work.
It is something I take an interest in, and that is fine with him. I try to take an interest when he chats about guitars and effects pedals, and how the 'wah' on this is superior to that etc. Same difference.

DH also says YANBU - he takes great care of our bugaboo because he is aware of the resale value one day (although we both love it and it is here to stay).

Heated · 27/10/2009 22:24

TPPP, was going to ask Cancantcan the same. I'm guessing through extensive testing you've found pram nirvana - so which one is it?

misdee · 27/10/2009 22:30

YANBU

my buggy doesnt even go in the boot as we dont have a car.

it has a liner on it to stop the main fabrics getting too dirty though.

and yes dd4 does eat in there, especially bananas and choc oat bars. which leave little grains of oats everywhere.

if another child has a bottle of milk in there then i do clean it thoroughly. and put on a clean liner/footmuff.

EyeballsintheSky · 27/10/2009 22:33

Oh God here we go. You lot are so bloody holier than thou sometimes. So you don't 'get' pushchairs. Big deal. The competitive skinflint-ness/don't care-ness on here sometimes gets on my tits. I'm sure those of you that have a 60 year old Maclaren that has done 47 kids and cost 6 and thru'pence during the war are very happy. Great, I'm pleased for you. But y'know, that isn't really what this is about, is it? It doesn't matter what the OP spends her money on, the point was her DH didn't take care of it when he was asked to. But why not disregard any information you don't need. Much more fun to go off on a tangent eh?

FFS, this thread makes such smug reading, it's depressing.

MamaGoblin · 27/10/2009 22:34

Ok, have had a complete turnabout since reading this thread - I thought Cancantcan might just be a wind-up caricature of a pram hun but she's being very tolerant of all our slurs! Each to their own - I can't understand the pram thing myself, but then I think some people on this thread might be aghast at how much I allowed myself to spend on a single skein of yarn (for knitting) the other week...

citybranch · 27/10/2009 22:36

My DH says that you are not bonkers at all because at least you purchase second hand...his exP was because she wouldn't entertain the idea of a second hand pram. Still goes ballistic now if we buy the DSSs a used toy from a car boot sale. Now thats bonkers!

If there were no pramaholics then who would people sell their prams to when they no longer need them, but want a bit of cash? And if everyone allowed their prams to be stained with oil then how could you expect to sell for a fair price?

Much better to take care of your things and pass them onto the next pramaholic user in great condition for them and their DCs to enjoy! 'Tis recycling after all!

citybranch · 27/10/2009 22:45

Agreed Eyeballs, I bet this lot will go out tomorrow and drive their pushchairs through dogshit, on purpose to prove a point.

nightmareteamgirl · 27/10/2009 22:46

Have to agree with Mamagoblin and Aitch

Damn good sport at taking all the flack without getting arsey Cancant
Good on you for that, and totally forgiven for BU

MORgueOSKY · 27/10/2009 23:29

I still think YABU but you have been very reasonable on this thread as you have had a good bashing.

edam · 27/10/2009 23:37

agree OP has been a jolly good sport about the reception of her thread.

Cancant, it could be worse... my dh drove off from legoland leaving my our Maclaren stood there behind the boot. At 10pm, after the fireworks, on the last night of the season. I was not a pram hun, it was the only buggy ds had ever had, but I did love it as it was supremely practical - I don't drive so loved the easy fold/portability/lightness. And it mattered much more to me than him, since I was the one doing 9/10 of the buggy pushing.

eyetunes · 28/10/2009 04:48

edam - what happened, did you not manage to get it back? Surely the whole park does not lie empty until spring? There must be admin staff etc. Poor you. Easily done though.

Original poster

cancantcan · 28/10/2009 08:31

LOL, loving it that you all think I am being such a good sport - the reality is that the PC crashed and I couldnt be arsed to reboot so I p*ssed off to bed with a bar of choc and a good book to console myself.
To be fair though I wouldnt have got upset at the posters who were having a pop, sometimes I struggle to understand other peoples obsessions too! besides, they were only responding to snippets of information like DC's ages, when they dont know the full story, reading it back as a third party, I probably would have thought I was bonkers too.

For those who are genuinely curious, pram nirvana for me is bugaboo. All others I have tried are heavy to push, and the seat is too small. Even with hefty toddler in, the bug still turns with no effort at all, has a substantial basket, generous seat, has excellent resale value, is lovely off road and is lightweight to lift. Also has safety strap, and you can take the wheels off to wash if you do end up accidentally pushing it through dog shit. Sturdy too. Also has lie flat carrycot for newborns.

I now have a bugaboo frog, it was V cheap (for a bugaboo) because the original covers were a little faded, hence why I got a new hood and footmuff for it. DD is the 3 year old, and we do quite a lot of walking. If we are around town she mostly walks between shops, but then I put her in the seat while in shops because I'm distracted while shopping and taking my eyes off her for a few seconds usually results in me spending next 10 minutes running round shop trying to find her. To be honest she is only in it about 50% of the time I am pushing it, but its just easier to have it and not need it (at least then I dont have to carry the damn shopping while dragging whining child) than to leave it in the car and 5 minutes later be regretting that decision!

OP posts:

mamadiva · 28/10/2009 08:56

I don't think YABU at all, you asked him to be careful with your belongings and he did'nt respect this.

Whether it's a pushchair, a bag, shoes whatever you got them yoruself and you want to look after them which is fair enough!

To all those with a problem against pushchairs or whatever, I am on my 5th now and I like to make sure they are kept cean and DP respects this, I don't mind about the wheels or chassis but seat covers are diferent, I don't get the big uproar from you lot sometimes...

BTW I am a 'pramhun' too and my 3YO is the exact same with walking so your not alone

A bit that your 3YO fits in a frog though they are teeny!

edam · 28/10/2009 10:36

cancant, I remember feeling very down when ds really did get too big/keen on walking for his buggy. Not because he was growing up, because I no longer had anywhere to stash the shopping!

Eyetunes, dh allegedly tried every number he could find for Legoland but got no reply. And I cut off my nose to spite my face by sulking and refusing to do anything about it myself. Which was daft, obv.! Ds was kind of almost grown out of the buggy by then, though. Dh bought a crappy replacement which was AWFUL handles at completely wrong height for me and hard, no give in them. So I sulked some more.

Heated · 28/10/2009 19:53

Thanks CanCantCan, 1) for not taking offence at my gentle teasing and 2) telling me about your pram.

Have just been looking on the John Lewis website, do they really retail for £640?

morningpaper · 28/10/2009 20:01

YANBU to be annoyed with your DH

the pram thing is weird but I used to feel that way about women who loved shoes and NOW I AM OLD I UNDERSTAND

Georgimama · 28/10/2009 20:17

A NT 3 year old doesn't need a pushchair. Ergo, it is time to retire your pushchair obsession, go into business selling second hand prams/pushchairs (if you've really only made a loss once despite buying 2nd hand, using and then selling again) or have another baby.

PurlyQueen · 28/10/2009 20:20

I don't think YABU at all. The pushchair is something you love and your DH paid no attention to your instructions and ruined the buggy by putting it into a dirty boot. I'd be really

yelpol · 28/10/2009 20:36

YANBU. I would be p'd off if it happened once, but I'd let it go and explain why I wouldn't want it in the boot again. The next time (this time for you) I would be very p'd off. For goodness sake, it's not rocket science to think "my boot is dirty, maybe I shouldn't put things in there", especially if it's happened before and he knows how you feel about it. Now you look like the bad guy for being irritated! I don't understand why you are getting such a flaming!

artlesschaos · 28/10/2009 20:56

Seriously, what are you going to do in a few months time when your youngest really doesn't need a pushchair at all?
You'd be horrified at the state of my P&T's double. It's filthy, sticky, used every day and yes, I'm another who uses the hood to stash lolly sticks, juice boxes and other toddler debris.
Oh to have nothing else to worry about...get a grip.
I'd have been grateful my OH picked the damn thing up.

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