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AIBU?

Hubby put my beautiful pushchair in his manky boot when I specifically asked him not to!

111 replies

cancantcan · 27/10/2009 19:59

Bit of background, I'm VERY careful with my pushchairs, and like them to look nice. about 2 months ago, my husband put a pushchair I had sold in the boot of his car (which is filthy as he carries oil etc around in it) without my knowing, and it ended up with a manky stain on it and I ended up scrubbing it clean at work while waiting for the courier. Needless to say I was NOT impressed and forbade him ever to put my pushchairs in his scabby boot ever again.
Fast forward to today. He forgot to pick pushchair up from my mums when he collected DD yesterday, I forgot tonight, I had arranged to get it tomorrow, but then he got time wrong for a meeting at church and thought he would do me a favour and nip up to get it tonight for me, which I greatly appreciate BUT despite me having specifically asked him to put it in the front of the car which I know is clean, he has ignored me and put it in the boot. I have just paid £80 for a new hood and footmuff from poshbugs (he knows this and knows how much it cost me, and that I have saved my own hard earned cash). He cant understand why I am so pissed off that he ignored me.

am I being unreasonable to be angry at him for risking ruining £80 of covers when I specifically asked him to put the pushchair in the front?

OP posts:

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Ronaldinhio · 27/10/2009 20:52

is this a joke thread?

Georgimama · 27/10/2009 20:53

There must be some pramhuns on the "pushchair" topic who would sympathise. Prams and pushchairs get dirty. It's not really that big a deal.

cancantcan · 27/10/2009 20:58

Heavealot - I only ever have one, if I decide I want to get a different one, I sell the one I have and use the proceeds to buy the next one. Thats why I would have been so annoyed if it got trashed - if and when I decided I wanted a change, big manky oil stains tend to lower the resale value so I have less in the pot to spend on my next one.

I think my point is that irrespective of the item in question (pushchair, clothes or whatever) am I being unreasonable to expect DH to comply with a reasonable request to not put something I obviously value in the boot of his car where there is a very good chance it will be ruined?

OP posts:

StrictlyAvadaKedavraarrrrghhhh · 27/10/2009 20:58

YANBU.

Doesn't matter what the item was, he's done it before and almost ruined something, was told/asked to not do it again and then did it again. When he knew it was new.

I'd be too.

Oh and to georgimama

Georgimama · 27/10/2009 21:02

I really would like to know why I get singled out when nearly everyone on the thread has said exactly the same thing as me, if not worse.

Oh well.

MORgueOSKY · 27/10/2009 21:04

Georgimama you implied she was a hun, that is a mumsnetting no no.

I just dont get why you need to trade up prams, have never got it. They all just push a baby around.

Georgimama · 27/10/2009 21:06

Oh right. You can call someone "mad as a fish" or "bonkers" but not a "hun". Rightiho.

Oh, look, I can do them too.

oldraver · 27/10/2009 21:07

It doesnt matter that its 'just a puschair'. Its no different to a nice wool coat being chucked in there or a nice pair of shoes. Its what YOU have chosen to spend your hard earned money on

theyoungvisiter · 27/10/2009 21:08

"I just dont get why you need to trade up prams"

Totally agree. I have had TWO prams in my entire life, one single, one double.

They have been used every single day, rain or shine, gone to furrin parts, up mountains, through puddles, on ferries and planes.

The single is now 3.5 years old and still going strong (although I did have to replace a wheel once). Think of all the time and effort I have saved on pram shopping! Not to mention the money

cancantcan · 27/10/2009 21:09

Ronaldinhio - No, its not a joke. I'm definately not laughing.

Wannabe - No, I definately do NOT have more money than sense. Thats why it took me so long to save for the covers, and why I would be so upset if they were ruined. I suppose I just value different things to you.

OP posts:

fluffles · 27/10/2009 21:09

i don't understand the pushchair thing...

BUT if i asked my DP not to put something of mine (cashmere sweater, new coat, whatever) into the oily boot of the car and he did it anyway i'd be bloody pissed off too.

i'd just make sure he realises tht HE's lucky it didn't get ruined because if it did then HE'd be buying you a new one!!!

Emprexia · 27/10/2009 21:10

i dont think YABU at all.

Its the principal.. wouldnt matter if it were a pushchair, a handbag or a fur coat.

You asked him not to do it after one got stained previously and he ignored you.. i'd be annoyed to.

tell him to put a blanket down next time!

theyoungvisiter · 27/10/2009 21:12

"It doesnt matter that its 'just a puschair'. Its no different to a nice wool coat being chucked in there or a nice pair of shoes."

I don't agree. A pram is a family item, surely?

I'd be pissed off if my husband decreed (for eg) that we had to keep the car pristine, and forbade me to let the DC eat food in there. It wouldn't matter to me whether he paid for it out of my money or his - if he chooses to spend his money on the car then fine, but it's still for all of us to use. Why should he get to dictate my usage of it?

(Disclaimer - my DH actually couldn't give a toss about the car but since I don't ride his bike I couldn't use that as an example )

diddl · 27/10/2009 21:13

So if you hadn´t also forgot the pushchair your husband wouldn´t have needed to collect it?

Also, if he had remembered it yesterday, was he in his car?

Is it too hard to have some sort of cover in his car to put around the pushchair in his car?

cancantcan · 27/10/2009 21:16

A lot of people dont get the pram thing, honestly I dont understand why anyone would want to collect stamps, or watch grown men in shorts chase a ball round a pitch, but I do respect their right to do that and not be ridiculed for it.
For those who have said YANBU, thankyou for seeing past the pushchair thing.
For those who said YABU, my husband will be grateful later

OP posts:

FlyMeToDunoon · 27/10/2009 21:18

Of course YANBU and it is the principle.
You asked him when it happened once not to do it again and he has. It is only through luck that something you valued was not ruined.

paisleyleaf · 27/10/2009 21:19

"my beautiful pushchair"
"my own hard earned cash"
"expect DH to comply "

Crikey, you sound difficult.

OrmIrian · 27/10/2009 21:20

it's just a pushchair....

Georgimama · 27/10/2009 21:23

Naughty OrmIrian. Stand in the corner with your finger on your lips.

FlyMeToDunoon · 27/10/2009 21:26

Yeah like a handbag is just a bag right.
Or boots are just footwear. Or a cashmere sweater is just clothing. May as well wear a sack and slippers all day.

cancantcan · 27/10/2009 21:27

paisleyleaf - no I'm pretty easy actually, think thats why he married me.
It is my pushchair, even DH admits that, he wants nothing to do with it, except to complain when if it looks a bit scruffy, or its too girly for him to push.

Ormirian - ha bloody ha. I was trying not to get touchy with the earlier posters!

OP posts:

theyoungvisiter · 27/10/2009 21:27

The thing is cancant, I don't think people were randomly picking on the fact it was a pushchair. I think the pushchair factor is relevant because on some level it's NOT yours, even though you paid for it, it's your family's, and they have to use it too.

Don't you think it's a bit unfair to get so territorial over something both you and your husband have to use?

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Georgimama · 27/10/2009 21:28

I don't let sticky toddlers sit in my handbags or cashmere sweaters, and wheel them for miles through mud, rain, puddles (and occasionally by accident) dog shit.

As someone else said, if my DH (not that he would) took the same attitude to the car, I'd tell him to jog on. It's a family resource for a purpose, not a fashion accessory.

Rollergirl1 · 27/10/2009 21:35

It sounds like you use your pushchair as an accessory.

And what if your DH doesn't want to put a pushchair that could possibly have dirty wheels (although sounds like yours probably won't) in the front of his car and get his car dirty?

Just out of interest how often do you change them?

FlyMeToDunoon · 27/10/2009 21:35

I don't think it's territorial. Ok it's a shared tool but that doesn't mean op's request for it not to go in the boot with the potential for damage should be ignored.

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