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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to just curl up in a ball.

36 replies

thesunshinesbrightly · 27/10/2009 10:28

I told the kid's we would go to the cinema today, but i am in so much pain it really hurts to move, my DD knows this and keeps saying 'i'm really looking forward to seeing UP today'.

AIBU to tell them i'm not going, or shall i just suck it up like i normally do and go.

OP posts:
FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite · 27/10/2009 10:29

Why are you in pain?

GwarchodwrPlant · 27/10/2009 10:29

What is wrong? Why can you not tell your daughter the truth? Tell her you will have to rearrange the cinema to another day because you are not well. Why is that hard?

ronshar · 27/10/2009 10:33

Is it physical pain or mental pain? If Mental pain then you should probably try and go out.

Does your DD know why you are in pain? What is the alternative if you dont go? She doesnt go or someone else is going as well?

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 27/10/2009 10:34

I don't want to let her down, i have really bad pains every month and this month they are especially killing, they have been awful since i've had the kids, i have taken tablets but they havent worked as usual, i'm probley being a baby.

OP posts:
GwarchodwrPlant · 27/10/2009 10:36

Yes you are being a baby in that if you can't go then you can't go. Just say. You are not letting her down you are teaching her an invaluable lesson about life.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 27/10/2009 10:39

That's what i thought, my endromitiosis doesnt help either,but yep, thanks girls i'll suck it up.

OP posts:
corriefan · 27/10/2009 10:40

Can you do a home cinema thing instead with a dvd? Grit your teeth while you get her settled and then work on trying to ease your pain. Sitting in a cinema would be horrible, it would be very difficult to take your mind off it. Take it you have been to the dr about the pains?

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite · 27/10/2009 10:40

Just be honest and tell her you are not feeling well and will take her when you are feeling better, today just have a sofa/duvet day and pop on a DVD to watch together.

ronshar · 27/10/2009 10:51

Yah Duvet day. Close the curtains, favourite DVD or a quick trip to the video shop, popcorn/bad sweet stuff, hot water bottle for you, drugs.

Job done. Take her another day.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 27/10/2009 10:54

corriefan and Fluffy - yes i have been to the doctors, and all they give me is tablets. we did the home cinema, saturday as i had the flu, having a terrrible week, everything has come at once just in time for half term.

i'm sick of my own moaning, thankyou for your suggestions, she is now throwing a tantrum, girls eh? who'd have em? looks like i'm sucking it up

OP posts:
ronshar · 27/10/2009 11:01

Alternative suggestion then. Put on your best clothes, make-up look fantastic.
It might take the edge of.

KimiTheThreadSlayingAxeKiller · 27/10/2009 11:01

If you have told your DD you are unwell and you can not go to the film and she has kicked off over it I would make bloody well sure I was not going to go.

Blame it on her tantrum and snuggle down on the sofa

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite · 27/10/2009 11:03

Go back to the GP and ask for a gynae referral. Your health is more important then going to the cinema dear. Your daughter needs to think of someone else rather then what she wants to do.

RumourOfAHurricane · 27/10/2009 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 27/10/2009 11:15

I know, i shouldn't take her after that, but i'm a push over so make up and dressed, and i'll be fine, and i will phone the doctor when i get back.

Thankyou everyone, this is why i love mumsnet

OP posts:
Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 27/10/2009 11:16

sorry didnt see your post shineon - she's 10 and a madam sometimes, god help me in teenager years.

OP posts:
TrickOrTrefusis · 27/10/2009 11:20

Your dd, your rules, thesunshinesbrightly, but my dd1 (10) would never have got away with that. If you're a pushover, she will push you over, plain and simple.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 27/10/2009 11:22

I know she does, but sometimes i just dont have the strength to argue ya'know.

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 27/10/2009 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TrickOrTrefusis · 27/10/2009 11:25

Well - then that is what she will learn from this experience. She flings one, you back down, even when you've given her a valid reason (being ill!) and offered to take her on a different day.

She'll probably be even more of an expert on it by the time she's 15.

FluffySaysTheDailyMailsShite · 27/10/2009 11:29

I'd hope that at 10 they are more understanding, I wouldn't put up with this behaviour. She needs to think of someone else other then herself, she's a big girl now, it's not as if she's 5 is it.

givecarrotsachance · 27/10/2009 12:39

TBH my DS at 5 years old, as he is now, would understand that if I wasn't well, it's tough. And he would be more concerned about me than the cinema. Because I'm honest with him and I'm not a pushover. Makes life much harder sometimes, but easier when it matters, like now.

Maybe it's just his personality but I'd be really upset if anyone in my family was more interested in their own day out than my health, if I was as ill as you sound.

Make that docs appointment and best of luck with sorting it out. That's not something you should live with. Good luck.

prettyfly1 · 27/10/2009 13:25

very soon she is going to experience monthly pains herself and she will certainly get more understanding then but I agree with the others who say she could probably do with a bit of a lesson in not being so selfish. At ten she is old enough to understand sometimes others have to come first.

onthepier · 27/10/2009 17:10

I've been in a similar position before, promising my dc's mid-week that I'll take them swimming on Saturday, only for my period to start on Friday evening, .

It's only happened twice but they've been disappointed. My dd is ten herself now though, and does understand. I think both times I've suggested pizza delivery or something, a treat they can have without me having to leave the house if my pains have been bad, which actually has gone down very well!

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 27/10/2009 17:51

The cinema was a success, my tablets actually kicked in when i was out and i felt much better, and had happy kids

Thankyou for all the replies.

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