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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

upset that i paid half of my parents anniversary dinner but my brother has taken all the credit?

21 replies

yada · 26/10/2009 13:03

i am genuinly (sp?) quite upset about this, my brother stays far away but came up for the weekend to celebrate my parents anniversary.

my parents ALWAYS pay when we are all out, they are well of and know we have less money and no matter how much we argue they always pay for things which i am gratefull for even if i do get pretty

my dad was called away during the meal and as he had the money my brother said he would put it on his credit card, i knew how much the bill was and got him on his own and gave him half thinking he meant he was paying the other half so for once we had bought something for our parents.

no one seen this and on the way home my mum started asking him how much the bill was and he just replied that it was delt with, the bill was brought up again later on that evening and again he replied that he was dealing with it.

this morning my mum has emailed me saing it was great of ** paying for the meal for us all but as its on a credit card that she has the account for but he has a extra card she will prob end up paying for it anyway "lol"

i feel i am being really childish about it but this was the one time where i felt i was doing something nice for them and it was more money than i could afford but my parents dont know this so next time we are out i will feel really bad if they insist on paying for something not knowing that i did actually put my hand in my packet the last time plus if my mum does pay the credit card bill my brother has basically pocketed my money.

i cant see how i can bring it up without seemingly really petty, dh thinks i should just leave it.

OP posts:
ILoveStripeySocks · 26/10/2009 13:05

Id reply saying that you & yor bro went halves, as to treat them for a change and you hope they enjoyed the meal.

TheDevilEatsBabies · 26/10/2009 13:06

if the misunderstanding was that your brother paid for it all, then your brother should have said something.

YANBU: i would be furious if my sibling had taken the credit for it!

ClaireDeLoon · 26/10/2009 13:07

Not right of him to accept your money if he knows he won't be paying. I would say to your mum 'oh, I gave him half so I hope you aren't going to be paying for the whole thing'

BalloonSlayer · 26/10/2009 13:07

I wouldn't worry about feeling petty , I'd email her back - pretending to misunderstand slightly - saying "Oh dear, well make sure you don't pay DB for all the cost of the meal, because I gave him the cash for half of it."

Lizzylou · 26/10/2009 13:07

I would contact your brother, he should have said that you'd paid half, he should have made that plain to your parents.
If they end up paying off the CC bill, then, yes, he will have had a free meal AND pocketed the money you'd given.
Definitely contact him, it's not petty at all.

TombliBOOOOOObs · 26/10/2009 13:08

Agree with stripey, especially as your mum has already joked that she may end up paying for it, you could reply saying 'I hope not, otherwise he will be in profit as I paid half to him!'

Heebeejeebee · 26/10/2009 13:08

This kind of thing used to happen to me a lot (though more at work). I would reply to your mum saying something along the lines that it was our treat to them, or just saying directly that you went halves

spookyrookie · 26/10/2009 13:09

Ditto what balloonslayer says, particularly if your parents are paying his credit card bill anyway

Original poster
yada · 26/10/2009 13:10

thanks, feeling a bit better now.

thats a good idea about mentioning not to pay all the cc bill, i had not thought about getting round it that way.

i feel really petty because i dont want them to think that i only paid it to get a pat on the back but i would hate to think that they were thinking "god yada got another free meal" even though i know they wont really iykwim!

OP posts:
PartOfTheHumphreysGroup · 26/10/2009 13:10

Yes, I agree, I'd say something too. I don't know if it is petty, seems fairly justifiable. I'd be fecking furious if I was you, and if I didn't say anything would be seething for months about it! better to be a little bit petty than bitter!

diddl · 26/10/2009 13:15

For goodness sake email back!

Especially if your Mum will end up paying.

Seriously, he´s an adult and has a cc on "Mummy´s" account!!

pigletmania · 26/10/2009 13:18

YAB a bit U, i would mention to your mum that you both paid half and your db used his credit card to pay the bill. Just a misunderstanding, anyway your db probably did not want to tell them the details of who paid what, just that it has been dealt with fair enough.

feellikeafraud · 26/10/2009 13:20

YANBU.

BUt why do your parents pay your brother's credit card bill? HOw old is he? That's really shocking!

Pumpkinbummum · 26/10/2009 13:21

Don't feel petty at all

Once dh and his brothers all chipped in for his mums spending moeny and when I went to visit, she said oh and the boys gave me money, as I sat with a card from the dcs, I said no that was from us too

overmydeadbody · 26/10/2009 13:24

Just reply to the email from your mum saying "actually we both paid half lol, it was nice to treat you for a change".

These are your parents and brother right? So just be open and honest with them! It's not hard.

Rindercella · 26/10/2009 13:26

Definitely tell your Mum that you and your brother went halves, and that you gave him cash for your share. Make a joke about hating to see him profit out of such a happy occasion.

A friend of mine once went out for a meal with her bf and another couple. It came to the end of the meal and the two blokes said they'd go halves. Other man paid for the whole thing on his credit card and friend's bf gave him cash for his half. It turns out that the other man was actually using a stolen credit card. So, not only was he ripping off some poor unknown person, he also made a double whammy by taking cash off a 'friend' for the other half

Rindercella · 26/10/2009 13:26

Definitely tell your Mum that you and your brother went halves, and that you gave him cash for your share. Make a joke about hating to see him profit out of such a happy occasion.

A friend of mine once went out for a meal with her bf and another couple. It came to the end of the meal and the two blokes said they'd go halves. Other man paid for the whole thing on his credit card and friend's bf gave him cash for his half. It turns out that the other man was actually using a stolen credit card. So, not only was he ripping off some poor unknown person, he also made a double whammy by taking cash off a 'friend' for the other half

onadietcokebreak · 26/10/2009 13:27

YANBU at all....

Sassybeast · 26/10/2009 13:40

YANBU at all!

Stigaloid · 26/10/2009 13:42

Just email back going - "no please don't pay for it. Brother and I paid half as our treat to you and hope you enjoyed the meal. Was nice to spoil you for a change. Much love Yada".

JustAnotherManicMummy · 26/10/2009 13:55

What BalloonSlayer or Stigaloid said.

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