Do annabel karmel's meal planners make anyone else feel completely inadequate?

[babs102]

They are ridiculous, how does anyone have time to prepare that much food?

Bloody hell thesecondcoming you are being very harsh and patronising to boot.

actually, i disagree secondcoming.

blw is just give em food on a plate. pureeing is just mushing it up first. so bloody what?

but parenting is fucking hard for first timers, and these holier-than-thou books that are a rash all over waterstones don't help. blogs like aitch's DO.

as it happens i did a mixture of pureéing and blw'ing.

stone me now.

If you are so against people discussing parenting and the accompanying decisions and methods, what the fuck are you doing on Mumsnet?
You seem happy enough discussing parenting issues when it suits you.

because of the voracity of the pureéing brigade. woman who shall not be mentioned etc.

I get what TSC is trying to say, it's only the way she's saying it that's offensive!

I totally agree. I'm sick of hearing parents in RL and on MN proclaiming they are following something as if it makes them hugely superior to everyone else. Sometimes these parents are so convinced their way is the 'right' way they'll make out like anyone doing it another way is practically abusing their children.

BLW books or blogs, IMO, are not the 'anti-dote' to GF/AK. They are just another set of rules to follow, another group to join.

Yes, it's scary working out how you should raise your first baby but IMO 'following' anything doesn't help at all. It makes you never have to learn to listen to what your baby is telling you.

No, I'm not saying all AK followers or BLW followers or UP households completely lose sight of instinctive parenting but I do think all the 'advice'/guidelines/parenting books/blogs are undermining modern parents, not helping in any way.

It also makes me feel slightly sick to see people proclaiming things like 'we are an UP household' or 'we are BLW'. It's just what TSC says, why does anyone need to know that you are following some cult of parenting? No-one really cares.

"what i am saying is do you really need proclaim 'WE ARE FEEDING OUR BABY BANANA' as though you've split the atom??? "

can you demonstrate with a link anyone saying anything like that at all, never mind proclaiming it? this is all happening in your head, secondcoming.

Woooooooowwww. Goodness,, this is all getting very personal.

Second, your points are made far too aggressively.
And poo, your reaction to her was ott.

There are puree'ers.
There are true BLW'ers.
All ticking along nicely.
Alot of people now do something inbetween - puree, some mush then chopped food, leading to eating the same parents meal. Lots of finger food, right from day 1.

Most of the women I know, including me did the later, this year. My Pn group all did this. Our children can eat bread, bananas, grapes, brocolli,chicken etc etc. they fed themselves, right from day 1.
but can also be spoon fed spag bol and tomato soup, and every other meal I prepare fro dh, ds1 and me.

BLW is not new as such. Many ideas are old. But as a whole, as a new idea, it has been quite revolutionary. It has helped alot. and also infiltrated into most peoples weanings. So the days of purees only, struggling, baby refusing everything. Those are hopefully diminishing.

But also BLW is a great support to those who want to do it purely.

Why is this such a problem to you, second ? I don't get it.

"'m sick of hearing parents in RL and on MN proclaiming they are following something as if it makes them hugely superior to everyone else. Sometimes these parents are so convinced their way is the 'right' way they'll make out like anyone doing it another way is practically abusing their children."

linky link please.

Why the unnatural reluctance to name something if it happens to fit what you are doing? Personally I say 'co-sleeping'because that is what I do and it is quicker to say than 'my baby sleeps in the same bed as me at night'. Like I say 'breathing' rather than 'puffing air in and out of my lungs for the purpose of staying alive' And I say BLW because that is what we are doing - consciously, with a vague full understanding of the philosophy behind it and having Read The Book. For both of my children so not just PFB (which is a label and not a very nice one).

All this huffing about what other people do is a bit beyond me.

Actually curiousity is quite correct. Some BLW'ers are very righteous.
Second does have some valid points, I just think they haven't been phrased very well.

thesecondcoming you make some valid points but then you add some slightly baffling comments which are, at best patronising and at worst rude. I wonder if you are trying to be humourous and it's not quite coming across the way you intend?

Aitch you have been very patient and fwiw I wish I'd had your blog instead of my BLW book that is gathering dust. I think you have some very sensible advice.

I for one have never "announced" that we are doing BLW or anything else - unless on MN and asked. I have discussed what we do with my friends who have babies when asked. And once I did confess I found the "you need to do it this way... I have the Annabel Karmel book" a bit like a criticism of my "we can't be arsed with purerring" approach in conversation with a close NCT friend. But that was after I'd sat for 15 minutes listening to another NCT friend delivering a lecture on the process, benefits and her DD's favourite recipes.

agree oblomov. live and let live.

i don't say blw, as it happens, because of seeing threads like this one. i dread meeting someone like thesecondcoming, with all her eye rolling and aggression, and having to justify myself. i just say 'i let them feed themselves' but of course by now most people reply 'oh, blw? i looked into that but read AK and she says they'll CHOKE'.

Of course you are entitled to be here, my point is your bizarre rantings about people daring to discuss and share ideas on parenting, including, shock horror, using names for things, seems to suggest that you would have little use for mumsnet.
And aren't you bloody fantastic that you managed to do everything so well without any help or advice whatsoever, you genius you. Again, why hang out with us pathetic mortals who need a bit of help now and again. We are obviously far too stupid.
Its not a "movement" by the way, its just an alternative way of doing things. We don't have badges and organise marches to promote the banana feeding you know....

x-posted with about 5 people. Apologies.

LMAO at TheProvincialLady's puffing air!

Naming the method or system you are using can be useful on parenting boards like this, though. If you say you are following UP methods and ask for advice on behaviour, then other posters will know that you're not looking for tips on the naughty step (or maybe they will think that that's exactly what you need ).
Similarly, if you say you're doing BLW and post 'Help, my child won't eat broccoli!' then people won't bother posting advice on mixing it with carrot puree.

oblomov, i really don't meet these righteous parents, of whatever 'type'. i sometimes wonder if it's in the eye of the beholder, tbh. it doesn't threaten or bother me if anyone does something different to what i'm doing, be it co-sleeping, ap ing or whatever.

but the amount of lectures i recieved from ak 'fans' on the harm i was doing my child, i suppose if i were inclined i could see them as self-righteous, it just never occurred to me to do anything other than smile, nod and ignore.

oh, and thanks jamm.

Actually, I knew that about Aitch. All these years, all her hard work, she never " spouted it as " the big B- L- W.

aitch - I'm not going to trawl through MN providing links to people proclaiming their way is better or start videoing ppl in RL. It would take forever! I saw a thread recently where someone was worrying their baby didn't like BLW as they wouldn't eat the food themself and asking if it was OK to try a puree. You can imagine how that turned out given what I've said.

I have see it happen all the time. I've seen it from all sides of everything, the only thing the people have in common is that they are following something, having decided that it is the best way, and are then very concerned at the thought someone might do something else - understandable!

I'm not only referring to people following BLW, I'm referring to people following anything... Any parenting books, any government guidelines e.t.c.

Raising your child is important I can understand that if someone is really convinced their baby will be harmed by them not doing something that they'd be anxious about other people saying they are not following the same rules. It's the advice, guidelines, books and blogs that I'm objecting too not the parents as such, although it is annoying to be beaten with someone else's parenting method.

i very much doubt you would take issue with anything on my blog, tbh, curiosity. it is very measured and inclusive, and not by accident.

all you are doing by saying how much people don't need these 'frameworks' (for want of a better word) is imo demonstrating how much they need good, inclusive, sensible ones, tbh. because clearly there is a human need for them, and for belonging and following. AK is a swillionaire on the back of it.

Aitch, I know you don't. some people get a bit righteous. I have seen a few blw'ers make a bit righteousy type comments on many threads over the years. I couldn't find them now. But we all know that there are a few precious people, no matter what the topic of discussion.

Poo. Calm down. And stop swearing.
Come on ladies.

aitch - no, I'm sure I wouldn't take issue with the things on your blog. I don't take issue with a lot of AK 'recipes', I don't take issue with some of the things various guidelines and frameworks say.

What I feel is that it is not helpful to take frameworks from outside the home when raising children. Especially when parents are bombarded with such a HUGE quantity of said frameworks you can follow. The most helpful thing is being supported to build your own framework for your family. This, I suspect is what you have done with your blog. The trouble is that you can't control how other people interpret it and apply it to their families.

Some people are looking for 'the book' or 'the rules' and the way things are presented to parents I feel only encourages them to seek this type of parenting and makes them feel inadequate or unknowlegable and undermines their natural instincts.