Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to be a bit disconcerted when a MW gets all misty-eyed at a baby?

89 replies

LissyGlitter · 16/10/2009 23:12

I know they must like babies to be in the job, but with both my pregnancies, the midwives have got all giggly and excited at the mention of the actual baby...It is kind of lovely that they still get excited, but it is a bit odd when they do things like tell you how the baby is lying and get all "coochy coo" about it.

OP posts:

ScaryFucker · 17/10/2009 11:28

Oh, and of course every baby/ pregnancy/child is different and when you work in these kinds of areas every day brings fresh surprises

No two days are ever the same

That is why it is such a fab career and so many love it

There are many pressures working in the NHS but interaction with the families is definitely not one of them ! It is what keeps you going.

BrokkenHarted · 17/10/2009 11:44

They are probably told to act like this. It may be ruitine for them but us mummies only get to do it so many times in our lives and they are just making sure it is as special as it can be for us. I think it is great!

TrillianSlasher · 17/10/2009 11:45

There's a difference between being interested in and excited by your job and wanting to do it as well as you can and make everyone happy and going coochy-coo. I find coochy-coo-ness a bit disconcerting at the best of times, if my belly was between the person and the thing they were squeaking at I can understand why it might be a bit odd.

BonjourIvresse · 17/10/2009 11:51

I think its becuase maybe tat once you are caring for pregnant women and delivering babies everyday that it isn't a given that the process will be safe and happy and it makes you grateful for the miracle of life? 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, 1 in 200 births is a stillbirth, so midwifes will have to deal with the sad side of their job on fairly regular basis.

nanninurse · 17/10/2009 12:00

OP you are being very unreasonable, damed if you do damned if you don't..
loving your job is a bonus really..
What do you do?

nanninurse · 17/10/2009 12:01

oh let me guess.. journalist!

agedknees · 17/10/2009 12:06

I work in a fertility clinic (NHS). Everytime one of the ladies becomes pregnant and I see the babe on the scan I get misty eyed.

The day I stop caring about women/babies is the day I walk out of my job.

I have been nursing for 30 years now. It is a pleasure and a privaledge to nurse people.

OrangeFish · 17/10/2009 12:11

I use to take medical students for their first experience of the postnatal wards.

My words always started with: Behind these doors, there are a good number of mums who have just meet their new babies, after a very hard time, and are at the moment going through one of the most memorable moments in their life, you are now going to be part of such important time so please... (followed on with 675 rules on what to do or not in order to protect that important time)

A birth and the time afterwards is a magical time, and a wonderful reminder that life is renewing itself. You can particularly feel this when you work in a medical environment and could see a lot of sad and worrying things around you, so yes, it is ok to fuss over and get misty eyed about babies being born.

Bink · 17/10/2009 12:42

I was a bit surprised but entirely touched when my MW after dd was born said "We've got a couple of pretty babies on the ward just now, but your baby ..." (meaning that none of them could touch dd for utter beauty)

She could have been saying it to every single mum up and down the hospital, but why not?! Lovely of her

notcitrus · 17/10/2009 16:38

I found the sonographer who had just confirmed I was not only pregnant, but nearly 4 months so, a bit gooey, but I was still in shock about the whole thing. 15 min later at the end of the appt we were both equally happy and I said "this must be a lovely job, so much good news to give to people."

She replied "Actually, yours is the first good news I've given today." I must have been the 6th or so patient. I'm glad she could hide that sadness for me.

poshsinglemum · 17/10/2009 19:56

Oh it's really sweet. They obviously love their jobs. I used to call my MW Mrs Doubtfire. She looked like him/her and had the EDinburgh accent. I am sure she was a woman though!

ScaryFucker · 17/10/2009 20:03

lol at poshsinglemum

chegirlknowswhereyoulive · 17/10/2009 20:08

My lovely friend hs been tring to be midwife for few yers now (my key is not working ) she hs hd two breks to hve her two youngest. She LOVES bbies. She is going to be wonderful midwife.

I work with children ll dy long. You should see the fuss we ll mke when someone brings in new bby

ScaryFucker · 17/10/2009 20:12

che, what happened to your "a", love ?

LatinDAISYcal · 17/10/2009 20:15

yes you are; it's lovely that they care and are trying to make you feel a bit special, like you are the first woman ever to have had a baby!

what an odd thing to complain about!

PeedOffWithNits · 17/10/2009 20:19

I will never forget my midwife. She did all the gooey things you are talking about with DD2 and DS1 - but in between she also cried with me when we lost DD3 - and came to her funeral. Rather someone who is genuine about their love of babies and the miracle that is the whole reproductive saga, than soemone cold who treats us as a number and nothing else!

ScaryFucker · 17/10/2009 20:21

peed, exactly !

NorbertDentressangle · 17/10/2009 20:44

YABU

You would have to be a pretty hard-hearted so-and-so not to be moved by the whole baby/birth experience. Its just so overwhelming.

Its also fantastic that someone (ie. midwife) can be so obviously happy, involved and rewarded by their job.

paisleyleaf · 17/10/2009 20:48

I think there's a reason many of them go into the job.
My midwife was a misty eyed one....and I felt lucky to have her.
Quite a few on our local team have infertility problems themselves. And I wonder if that brought them into midwifery sometimes.

Georgimama · 17/10/2009 21:02

Why on earth would this bother anyone? The midwife who delivered DS (and the obstetrician who stitched me up and dressed DS for me for the first ever time while I had a bath) seemed as awe struck as me. A brand new human being had made their entrance into the world before our eyes - how could that not be a privilege? Would you really want anyone to become blase about that?

You don't know what secret pain or sadness may lie behind their joy for you - I remember seeing a Professor Robert Winston programme where he revisited previous patients who had had successful and unsuccessful IVF. One of the unsuccessful ones was a midwife who had had 12 unsuccessful courses of IVF. Can you imagine how joyous and painful every day at work must have been for her?

Equally that midwife might not have had her own tragedy but I'm sure she has seen plenty. Everyone assumes their pregnancy will progress to its inevitable conclusion of safe delivery of healthy infant but I assure you that is not the case for many many people.

scottishmummy · 17/10/2009 21:07

staff will have seen tragedy and fatalities,no wonder they are happy at bonnie new baby

great when it all goes ok

treedelivery · 17/10/2009 21:10

In fact I am a midwife because I have a love of women. I try to help women carry, birth and be with their baby. As a hospital midwife most of my contact is with the woman too. Apart from the fact that for most of our contact, the baby wil not be there [yet], even once it is the idea of midwifery care is to facilitate and guide the family in their care of the newborn.

I do often have to have for a good prolonged cuddle on a [sometimes quite] night shift though

GreenMonkies · 17/10/2009 21:10

By Seededbiatch Fri 16-Oct-09 23:40:29

YABU.

She likes her job, thank goodness.

She was being nice to you because you are pregnant and it's her job to make you feel looked after.

Next time get giddy with her, don't be so miserable.

Ditto!

essanel · 17/10/2009 21:19

yabvu......i had one midwife (luckily only for a couple of hours!) who could not be interested and treated me and my gorgeous dd like we were nuisances (nightshift c/s lots of drugs new mum...) she made me cry however when we got to the day shift they were amazing and when the midwife who helped deliver dd came up to visit and goo'ed and gagga'd with dd i felt enormously proud... go the midwives!!!!!!!

hennypennyhen · 17/10/2009 21:19

What a bunch of cynics some of you are. Of course it is fantastic to be the person bringing a baby into the world. That is exactly what makes midwives want to keep doing their job despite all the other negatives! (I am not a MW)

Flip

1 2 3 4