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AIBU?

to be so miserable in new house that I can't eat?

64 replies

RubyBooBerry · 16/10/2009 19:17

Moved house from 3 bed terrace with yard (rented) a month ago into a 3 bed semi with garden which we have bought.

Thinking garden would be great for kids but none of us have set foot in it.

I've said "hello" and "hi" and given waves and smiles to neighbours every day on this new street and nobody will speak, they just grunt or look away.

AIBU to want to move back to a rented house where the doorways were wide enough to carry DS through on my hip, the yard only needed sweeping once a year and the neighbours invited you in for coffee?

I really am miserable. I haven't eaten in 2 days, just not hungry but I have had a few coffees so I won't starve.
And I hate to be sad but at least I got to use a Halloween emoticon

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penona · 18/10/2009 15:05

Ruby - was thinking about your stinky bathroom carpet this morning (no idea why!) and we had the same problem when we moved in. We bought a v cheap offcut from a local independent carpet shop for £10! And cut it to fit with a stanley knife and taped it down at the edges. It didn 't look as good as being properly fitted (which the fitters did for us weeks later when we had another carpet replaced) but was miles better than what it replaced!! Offcuts are very cheap, ideal for a bathroom which is usually small.

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jamandjerusalem · 18/10/2009 15:24

NL you are lovely. Your post brought a tear to my eye

OP - do you use Freecycle?

If it operates in your area it could be really good for getting hold of a new cooker or bathroom stuff.

Also, see if your library has a copy of India Knight's Thrift Book - well worth a read for all sorts of ideas on how to make your home lovely on a budget.

We bought our house 3 years ago and it was ghastly - we had bright pink paint, combined with orange woodwork, and green doors. Hideous. DS still pines after our old house, but this one is so much better for us as a family. I think it's natural to have fond thoughts of the places you've loved (especially if that's where your children lived as teeny babies), which can impinge on growing to love your new place but it will happen. It's like anything - it'll just take time.

Sending lots of happy thoughts. I love the sound of your apple tree - any fruit left? You could make lovely crumble or cake or chutney FREE! From fruit from a tree YOU OWN! Lucky you!

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RubyBooBerry · 18/10/2009 20:15

Hello again everybody.
I think NorthernLurker deserves a medal or to be nominated for MNer of the week!

Right... if you really want to see the door, have a look at my profile pic ...

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Northernlurker · 18/10/2009 20:45

Am here! Only suggested painting some stuff. You can do the same for me if I move house!

Have had a look at the pic and the door just has to go. It's seriously ugly! With a new door and a hanging basket from the porch - and maybe a nice classic outside light it will looks lots better.

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RubyBooBerry · 18/10/2009 20:49

hey don't be be !

Blardy awful door isn't it.

Well I have painted the kitchen units with the wrong undercoat (gloss instead of matt, whoops) but they still look better. Hope the "fuschia falls 4 " paint I bought will roller over that okay tomorrow.

DH has tomorrow off so will force ask him to take some shelves out of inside of wardrobe so we can fit the bed inside, thus having a bit of room!!

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CMOTdibbler · 18/10/2009 20:53

Sounds like a serious weekend of painting would make a lot of difference to how you feel about the house. Any chance of getting a load of freinds/relatives round for the weekend and really blitzing it ? It doesn't need to be perfect painting, but you'll feel a lot better about it. We've had some great weekends with friends when the only payment has been a curry, and it's actually quite a laugh.

The dog is baaaad though !

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Northernlurker · 18/10/2009 20:54

Oh well done for getting some painting done! Anything will be better than orange I think. What are they like inside?

And what have you eaten today?

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RubyBooBerry · 18/10/2009 21:31

They're okay inside. I just blasted them with the appley fragranced dettol spray...

The dog is really bad isn't it!!

I have had a croissant and sunday dinner, and I think I'm back to normal. However I think am gonna make an appt to see docs as I am not happy, and anti-d's helped me last time I was a miserable cow. I know it's stress related. Doesn't help that I'm a finickety virgo cow as well

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VerityBrulee · 18/10/2009 22:14

Norternlurker, you are such a nice person

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WickedWench · 18/10/2009 22:41

The house looks lovely, really lovely and yes it will take time but you WILL get it how you want it.

We had olive green (or snot green as DP would say) doors and paintwork, tartan wallpaper - we're in Yorkshire, shelves NAILED up, psychedelic carpets, a dried up poo in the toilet (left by one of the tradesmen who had given us a quote before we moved in - water turned off!) curtains covered in paint splashes - they took the good ones apart from the fancy gold velour ones and frilly pelmet thing in the living room and last but not least the previous owner's uniform from his RAF National Service left in his kitbag in the loft. We did drop that round to his new house for him though!

If you just think that every day or every week you can change one thing, even if it's just a door handle, you'll soon start putting your own mark on it. I felt like Challenging Anneka when we moved in but we got there and so will you.

Love your comments about the batman sign tho

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penona · 19/10/2009 14:44

Why can't I see the photo of the dog on your profile? I was looking fwd to that!

Well done you, sounds like you have made a start. We had Xmas a few weeks after we moved in, altho it was a nightmare to prepare for, having a happy event in the house really helped me feel differently about it. And family could see past the awful decor!!!! Maybe a halloween thing? Or fireworks in your new garden?

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OrangeKnickers · 19/10/2009 15:03

RubyBooBerry - if you want to get rid of the nicotine / tobacco stains then the only thing that we found that worked was sugar soap. It's horrid stuff but really good. Gets rid of the brown in no time.

here

good luck!

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minimoonumbertwo · 19/10/2009 15:18

NL you are so lovely

i am going to come to you with all my decorating problems from now on.

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PurpleCrazyHorse · 19/10/2009 15:20

YABU not to be eating but NBU at struggling to settle into a new home. We moved from London to South Wales and it's taken us a little while.

Is there a local MN group or any other groups you can join? You'll have to get out and about to make friends and it takes time. Take a deep breath and get out there chatting to people.

If you've still not spoken to your neighbours closer to Christmas, why not bake or buy some mince pies, knock on next door and introduce yourselves.

Definitely agree with doing some planting in the garden or maybe start thinking about some indoor decorating ideas - this helped us feel more like our house was ours.

Congratulations on the new house, you'll be fine but it'll take time and winter isn't a great time of year for meeting people over the garden fence!