to be so miserable in new house that I can't eat?

[RubyBooBerry]

Moved house from 3 bed terrace with yard (rented) a month ago into a 3 bed semi with garden which we have bought.

Thinking garden would be great for kids but none of us have set foot in it.

I've said "hello" and "hi" and given waves and smiles to neighbours every day on this new street and nobody will speak, they just grunt or look away.

AIBU to want to move back to a rented house where the doorways were wide enough to carry DS through on my hip, the yard only needed sweeping once a year and the neighbours invited you in for coffee?

I really am miserable. I haven't eaten in 2 days, just not hungry but I have had a few coffees so I won't starve.
And I hate to be sad but at least I got to use a Halloween emoticon

[PurpleCrazyHorse]

YABU not to be eating but NBU at struggling to settle into a new home. We moved from London to South Wales and it's taken us a little while.

Is there a local MN group or any other groups you can join? You'll have to get out and about to make friends and it takes time. Take a deep breath and get out there chatting to people.

If you've still not spoken to your neighbours closer to Christmas, why not bake or buy some mince pies, knock on next door and introduce yourselves.

Definitely agree with doing some planting in the garden or maybe start thinking about some indoor decorating ideas - this helped us feel more like our house was ours.

Congratulations on the new house, you'll be fine but it'll take time and winter isn't a great time of year for meeting people over the garden fence!

[minimoonumbertwo]

NL you are so lovely

i am going to come to you with all my decorating problems from now on.

[OrangeKnickers]

RubyBooBerry - if you want to get rid of the nicotine / tobacco stains then the only thing that we found that worked was sugar soap. It's horrid stuff but really good. Gets rid of the brown in no time.

here

good luck!

[penona]

Why can't I see the photo of the dog on your profile? I was looking fwd to that!

Well done you, sounds like you have made a start. We had Xmas a few weeks after we moved in, altho it was a nightmare to prepare for, having a happy event in the house really helped me feel differently about it. And family could see past the awful decor!!!! Maybe a halloween thing? Or fireworks in your new garden?

[WickedWench]

The house looks lovely, really lovely and yes it will take time but you WILL get it how you want it.

We had olive green (or snot green as DP would say) doors and paintwork, tartan wallpaper - we're in Yorkshire, shelves NAILED up, psychedelic carpets, a dried up poo in the toilet (left by one of the tradesmen who had given us a quote before we moved in - water turned off!) curtains covered in paint splashes - they took the good ones apart from the fancy gold velour ones and frilly pelmet thing in the living room and last but not least the previous owner's uniform from his RAF National Service left in his kitbag in the loft. We did drop that round to his new house for him though!

If you just think that every day or every week you can change one thing, even if it's just a door handle, you'll soon start putting your own mark on it. I felt like Challenging Anneka when we moved in but we got there and so will you.

Love your comments about the batman sign tho

[VerityBrulee]

Norternlurker, you are such a nice person

[RubyBooBerry]

They're okay inside. I just blasted them with the appley fragranced dettol spray...

The dog is really bad isn't it!!

I have had a croissant and sunday dinner, and I think I'm back to normal. However I think am gonna make an appt to see docs as I am not happy, and anti-d's helped me last time I was a miserable cow. I know it's stress related. Doesn't help that I'm a finickety virgo cow as well

[Northernlurker]

Oh well done for getting some painting done! Anything will be better than orange I think. What are they like inside?

And what have you eaten today?

[CMOTdibbler]

Sounds like a serious weekend of painting would make a lot of difference to how you feel about the house. Any chance of getting a load of freinds/relatives round for the weekend and really blitzing it ? It doesn't need to be perfect painting, but you'll feel a lot better about it. We've had some great weekends with friends when the only payment has been a curry, and it's actually quite a laugh.

The dog is baaaad though !

[RubyBooBerry]

hey don't be be !

Blardy awful door isn't it.

Well I have painted the kitchen units with the wrong undercoat (gloss instead of matt, whoops) but they still look better. Hope the "fuschia falls 4 " paint I bought will roller over that okay tomorrow.

DH has tomorrow off so will force ask him to take some shelves out of inside of wardrobe so we can fit the bed inside, thus having a bit of room!!

[Northernlurker]

Am here! Only suggested painting some stuff. You can do the same for me if I move house!

Have had a look at the pic and the door just has to go. It's seriously ugly! With a new door and a hanging basket from the porch - and maybe a nice classic outside light it will looks lots better.

[RubyBooBerry]

Hello again everybody.
I think NorthernLurker deserves a medal or to be nominated for MNer of the week!

Right... if you really want to see the door, have a look at my profile pic ...

[jamandjerusalem]

NL you are lovely. Your post brought a tear to my eye

OP - do you use Freecycle?

If it operates in your area it could be really good for getting hold of a new cooker or bathroom stuff.

Also, see if your library has a copy of India Knight's Thrift Book - well worth a read for all sorts of ideas on how to make your home lovely on a budget.

We bought our house 3 years ago and it was ghastly - we had bright pink paint, combined with orange woodwork, and green doors. Hideous. DS still pines after our old house, but this one is so much better for us as a family. I think it's natural to have fond thoughts of the places you've loved (especially if that's where your children lived as teeny babies), which can impinge on growing to love your new place but it will happen. It's like anything - it'll just take time.

Sending lots of happy thoughts. I love the sound of your apple tree - any fruit left? You could make lovely crumble or cake or chutney FREE! From fruit from a tree YOU OWN! Lucky you!

[penona]

Ruby - was thinking about your stinky bathroom carpet this morning (no idea why!) and we had the same problem when we moved in. We bought a v cheap offcut from a local independent carpet shop for £10! And cut it to fit with a stanley knife and taped it down at the edges. It didn 't look as good as being properly fitted (which the fitters did for us weeks later when we had another carpet replaced) but was miles better than what it replaced!! Offcuts are very cheap, ideal for a bathroom which is usually small.

[ShinyAndNew]

Oh if you haven't already done it, put your family photos up, now. Even if you just have to lean them against walls, while you wait for them to be hung. It made me feel more at home.

[ShinyAndNew]

Blimey it sounds like you have more work than we had to when we bought this place!!!

To give you hope though, we are now almopst finished. And I love, love, love my new house. Its posh and modern and shiny and new

You will settle in and make the place your own. I never saw myself settling in here when Dh bought it and was dreading moving. But it is like a whole new house now and it feels more like my house than my previous rented house did because it is decorated to my taste and I chose the furniture.

[shockers]

My computer has gone daft...

[shockers]

When people ask you where you live, you can just tell it's the dog house... good conversation starter in the school yard!
inting your kitchen units, you'll need melamime (?) primer...just done mine at my 'new' house and they look fab!
I'm still in my 'old' house and crying into my pillow at nights at the thought of leaving it for a lovely village with great schools and fantastic neighbours ( we knocked on all their doors and quizzed them before we bought the house)
It's such a wrench to leave somewhere you've been happy isn't it? But if you were capable of friendship and happiness there, you can do it in your new place too. It just might take a little time to spot the good eggs.
I'd pull that carpet up though... ike yours with someone else's bodily fluids on the flooring

[MorrisZapp]

It wouldn't occur to me to make any effort with new neighbours beyond a smile and a wave. I'm a big fan of being polite but distant, maybe they are too?

You're still friends with your lovely old neighbour, so try to think of her as a friend, not your ex-neighbour.

You're in a v lucky position from what you've said. You've bought a house that is cosmetically dated and ugly, so presumably got it at a reasonable price.

You can now make it lovely, fresh and stylish very cheaply by doing basic decorating and refreshing.

You'll end up with a lovely house that you couldn't have afforded if it had been lovely when you viewed it. And it will all be exactly to your own needs and tastes. Result!

Wtf is the three foot dog about - you'll laugh heartily about that dog soon, trust me!

[Twintummy]

Give it time. Have you moved area's? My neighbours are all unfriendly but I think that's busy city life and I don't care anymore. I just wave and smile and have no expectations. Luckily I have made some lovely friend's at DC's school.

[Longtalljosie]

And actually you could use that link to also order new doors for your built in wardrobes?

[Longtalljosie]

Have you thought about having the carpets steam cleaned? I've never done this but someone was telling me about it the other day (our previous owners left the carpets filthy) and apparently it's cheaper than you think.

I replaced the doors to the kitchen units in my old house - made a world of difference, like having a new kitchen.

I used these people

[scottishmummy]

well starvation doesnt imbue good judgemnent.

eat

calm down

get on with settling in

[Georgimama]

Tomorrow go to the supermarket and buy yourself some flowers. Will cheer you and the house up no end.

[penona]

Wow NL, what a great response! Wish I had asked you last year when we moved.

I know how you feel, Ruby. I was so excited when we were moving last year, I spent ages beforehand hanging everything on this move - it was the panacea. All the problems in life would go! But, they didn't. I just had new problems in a filthy, cold, rattling house that didn't look like mine and where nothing worked properly. I ended up getting quite seriously depressed about it. It was not a happy time. Looking back I can understand it, but at the time I was too glum to. (I even went cold turkey on MN for 5 mths I was so blue, which is very silly!)

I think NL advice is fabulous. Good luck. Keep us posted! (And perhaps attach a pic of the door? Sounds hilarious!)

Oh, and do take photos of it all NOW, as it looks. Then in a years time you can sit down and think, wow, we did all this.