to smoke when the DCs have playdates at our house?

[BigMomma3]

What I mean is AIBU to smoke outside when the DCs have friends over for playdates! I do get really worried some times at what other parents will think of me cos I smoke . I NEVER smoke in the house - always in the garden, if raining I stand under an umbrella and I have my special 'smoking cardi' which comes down to my knees and stops my clothes smelling of smoke! I also wash my hands straight after and eat lots of mints. As you can see I am a bit anal about it myself all because of the guilt of being a smoking mother .

Would you have a problem with your DC coming to have tea at the house of a smoker as described above!! I can go for an hour or so without one but normally kids stay for at least 3 hours. Am a bit worried as I am sure one little boy told his mum that he saw me smoking and now she's a bit off with me. I would love to stop but have things going on in my life that mean I can't at the moment (will be meeting my father who I have not seen for 30 years this weekend!) and I am teetotal so smoking seems the lesser of two evils .

I'm with CaresMildly.

Also those saying "but can't she go an hour" are missing the point. If I visit you I could say "can't you go an hour without having a cup of tea" and of course you could, but why should you? Certainly not to humour other people's confused and obsessive fears.

The smoke (which is not as instantly harmful as some clearly think) is in the garden and the kids are inside. Just like the boiling water is in the kettle, The bleach is in a bottle in a cupboard and so on. A danger that is just near you, but not actually affecting you is not a danger at all.

grr op has every right to smoke in her own damn garden
door shut yes
but make sure you can still hear/see the dcs

as far as leaving children alone goes
do you not use the loo when other children are in your house?
and i can think of alot worse things to smell of than fags, urine being one of them as you cannot leave dcs for any exuse

Would not bother me. Yesterday I saw a lady standing outside having fag with a baby in her arms (nice)- so dont feel too bad!

My MIL smokes outside. It doesn't bother me per se, but what does was when DS was a baby (PFB ) and immediately after smoking and she smoked very strong stinky fags, she'd come over and coo over DS, like about 2cm from his face. I could smell her about a metre away, let alone that close. Doesn't bother me as much anymore, as DS (now 2) would move out of the way I think if the smell bothered him.

So smoking per se doesn't bother me if done outside, but proximity of breathing on someone straight away after does.

BigMomma3 - I totally agree with you about those timer air fresheners. I hate it when you're in a baby changing room and there's the ominous little pfft sound, followed by the smell of toxic carcinogens wild flowers. It makes me feel both nauseous and annoyingly powerless. TBH I'd rather smell a lit Marlboro Light, and I'm an ex-smoker!

I think you're very considerate.
It does put me off sending DC to thier friends if parents smoke in the house, and especially if they offer a lift and smoke in the car.
Good for you and don't feel too bad. ( This coming from a reall strong anti smoker)