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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be not entirely happy that DS2's infant school will send their Harvest collection to a private nursing home?

48 replies

lisbey · 13/10/2009 20:35

Or Old People's House, as he puts it?

The home is very close to the school and the children go there to sing carols, some of the residents go to school to judge fancy dress competitions etc and children have visited the home to ask questions about living throught the War etc, which is great, all done to be part of the community and I'm all for that.

But, we've been asked to provide non perishable food items, tea/coffee/biscuits etc to go the the "old people" as part of the school's Harvest celebration. It won't benefit the old people though will it, but the shareholders of the private company that runs it?

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 13/10/2009 20:37

Will it make the residents happy?

BobbingForPeachys · 13/10/2009 20:38

Depends on hos its done- if its littletreats that the residents normally buy for their own rooms (so biscuits,sweets etc) then fine

Ifthough 9and as I would expect fromevery one of these palces I have encountered) its just saving the owner a few quid, I'd be unhappy.As in fact I was, as ours do it too

Northernlurker · 13/10/2009 20:40

Do cheer up!

Your school's harvest collection is hardly going to mean the owners of the home don't have to go to Sainsburys for a month! It means that the residents get to feel part of the schools activities, of the world outside their four walls and to feel that people care about them enough to give things - even if it's only a tin of peaches. That's the point of harvest festivals - a sharing out of the bounty. It isn't means tested.

bigchris · 13/10/2009 20:42

I sort of see where you're coming from

I'd rather my tin of beans go to the homeless

BLEEPyouYOUbleepingBLEEP · 13/10/2009 20:45

Agree with northern, it's much more than the sum of it's parts, it's about the connection between older people and children, and it sounds like the school really make an effort.

I'm sure the home is packed full of caring people, and not a money grabbing capitalist in sight!

madamearcati · 13/10/2009 21:40

Why not buy treats like boxes of chocolates and flowers

sillysalley · 13/10/2009 21:43

YABVU - the residents will really appreciate it, knowing where it has come from, and TBH they sound like they deserve it for all the support they give the school.

A agree, send little packs of chocolate or sweets/ toffees.

sillysalley · 13/10/2009 21:44

Second thought - Maybe not the toffees

Not a good mixture with false teeth

Original poster
lisbey · 13/10/2009 21:46

Absolutely, I would support treats for the residents, but the jars of coffee/ custard creams they get are surely just going to go into the usual supply? Will the residents even be aware where they came from?

I do like the idea of the little ones taking gifts for the old people they work with though and I suppose they aren't aware of the ownership of the home etc.

I think I hanker after a lovely display of fresh produce like we had when I was at school....

OP posts:
colditz · 13/10/2009 21:47

HAving worked in a private home, I can tell you that it will go straight into the main kitchen aqnd be dished up at mealtimes like all the other food. The residents will have no idea where it has come from and yes, the rich privateer will profit from it.

If you seriously think the elderly are fed from Sainsbury's you are hopelessly naive. It's Asda basics all the way, I'm afraid

GertieGumboyle · 13/10/2009 21:48

What a mean perspective, lisbey. The residents will no doubt be delighted to feel that the children care about them. And hopefully the children will grow up with a rather less sour view about life than some of their parents.

hocuspontas · 13/10/2009 21:48

It will go as gifts I'm sure. Not delivered in a big brown box straight to the kitchens!

colditz · 13/10/2009 21:49

yes, it will be delivered in a big brown box straight to the kitchens, and no, the residents won't even know.

I have worked in many private homes and this is SOP.

hocuspontas · 13/10/2009 21:49

Ah! Maybe not having read colditz's post

crokky · 13/10/2009 21:49

It will benefit the old people - they will see the harvest festival stuff coming in etc, they will know the children were thinking of them.

I'm not too sure on the distinction here, but you've mentioned that the nursing home is private. Would you be happier if it was a council run nursing home? Both types of home have food provided anyway.

Quite honestly, I don't think it will save the nursing home owners much! Perhaps they buy their regular food in bulk and plan what they cook - they will now have a load of random stuff to use up, so really I don't think it will be lining the pockets of the owners!

I think you are overthinking the harvest festival!

colditz · 13/10/2009 21:50

If you send a tin of sweets they might get somein the main lounge, then again the staff might put them in the staff room. You never know, it depends how moral the staff are.

GertieGumboyle · 13/10/2009 21:50

Is it depressing to be so cynical?

colditz · 13/10/2009 21:51

The word is realistic, not cynical.

I have seen this happen year after year with my own eyes, in quite a few homes, so I'm hardly likely to think it won't happen.

catinthehat2 · 13/10/2009 21:57

I don't think Colditz isbeing cynical, I think she's telling us what actually happens in her experience. Whether that's what we want to hear is a different mattter

famishedass · 13/10/2009 22:03

As said before, it's not about the money, it's about sharing food. I can't imagine many residential home owners will be swanning off for a month in Mauritious on the back of the school harvest festival.

Can rich people not join in the community spirit then?

slowreadingprogress · 13/10/2009 22:03

I think the main thing is that the children get to experience the giving. Impossible for the school to know whether it's received in the spirit it's meant; but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be given and the children shouldn't have the experience of doing it...colditz experience is probably not unusual which is a big shame but two wrongs don't make a right. They should still give it.

GertieGumboyle · 13/10/2009 22:10

Realistic, cynical, whatever. I think slowreadingprogress is right.

Sassybeast · 13/10/2009 22:16

Don't let Colditz depress you. They're not all that bad. Just send the 3 year old can of broad beans from the back of your larder. That'll show them darn evil capatalists.

AliGrylls · 13/10/2009 22:19

I would always take the view that if it benefits the residents directly then it is a good thing. I worked in a nursing home when I was a student and they don't have the most appetising food TBH - in fact I wrote a dissertation on the subject of malnutrition in nursing homes (even in private nursing homes it happens).

However, taking into account what colditz said I would probably be tempted to get a lobby together and say that you are only going to provide treats that will go directly to the residents.

It seems really immoral to have a harvest festival like this.

donkeyderby · 13/10/2009 22:19

Similar dilemma. Ds's school want to give to a homeless charity that has a very dubious reputation and whose priest in charge (now disappeared), was found to be giving drug addicts cash, seemingly in exchange for close contact and 'romantic' favours. I won't be sending my tins of chickpeas to them.