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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this child should have been kept home?

25 replies

fernie3 · 13/10/2009 19:49

my daughter is in reception and one of the other mums arrived at the school at pick up time saying that she was surprised they hadnt called her in as her son woke up this morning with a temp of 39.1, coughing and complaining of a tummy ache. She had given him calpol and brought him in anyway.
To me that is quite a high temp and if he was also complaining of pain he should have been kept home. My daughter was really ill with e coli a few months back and i am horrified that people send their children in with all kinds of diseases she could catch! - ok maybe i am exagerating but it did annoy me a little that she thought nothing about trying to stop it spreading!

am I being unreasonable to think she should have kept him home?

sophie

OP posts:
seeyounexttuesday · 13/10/2009 19:50

yanbu she was being selfish to her son and everyone else.

purepurple · 13/10/2009 19:51

YANBU
If she had phoned the doctors they probably would have diagnosed swine flu over the phone, as these are all the key symptoms.
Some people are unbelievable.

gingernutlover · 13/10/2009 19:55

YANBU

being totally selfish to everyone else at the school, and also to her son.

Fine to give thme some calpol and send them on their way for a bit of a cold or headache but a high temp indicates an infection which means the child needs to be kept a proper eye on

HarrumphingAndBosomAdjusting · 13/10/2009 19:59

YANBU
High temperature combined with any other undesirable symtoms equals a call to the GP IMHO.

seaglass · 13/10/2009 20:09

YANBU
I hate it when people bring their DC's into school saying "Oh they were up all night being sick, but they seem fine now, so I've brought them in" bloody selfish!

ZZZenAgain · 13/10/2009 20:10

YANBU poor kid.

sally78 · 13/10/2009 20:11

As a pregnant teacher I believe YANBU!!

MinkyBorage · 13/10/2009 20:16

yanbu, can't understand it!
We've just had a playdate with a child whose younger sibling is very poorly with what looks like flu, high temp, snotty, very lethargic and crying a lot. The nanny asked me whether it was ok to bring her when we were half way here anyway, so to say no would have been really difficult for dd and her new friend as they were looking forward to playing together.

Now I think about it, she didn't ask me if was ok to bring her, she just said X is poorly, I'm guessing your ok with that, or somesuch! Grrr. Could really do without mine getting sick atm.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 13/10/2009 20:17

DS1 came home with croup in the second week which hit him like a ton of bricks.

He was very poorly and so were DS2 and DS3 who all caught it from him by the following week.

I was approx. 10 weeks preg and absolutley whacked, up all night pumping them full of Calpol and listening to all the coughing all night.

I had a 4 yr old, 3 yr old and 9 month old with it all at the same time.

I was then back at school, once DS1 had recovered, and was talking to a woman who never usually speaks to me who quite openly announced she was the cause of the mini outbreak of croup as she sent her son in with it.

'Thanks very much for that' I said. 'All 3 of mine ended up with it as a result'

I also ended up with the winter vomiting bug when I was 8 months preg with DS3 as a result of someone sending their child into preschool with it.

I honestly I felt like I was going to die!!

lou031205 · 13/10/2009 23:11

YANBU - DD1 begged to go to preschool the last 2 days, but has temp/sore ear/throat/cough so I wouldn't send her.

AngelaCarleen · 13/10/2009 23:30

YANBU, 39.5 is really high, poor wee mite must have felt rotten

bruces · 13/10/2009 23:46

It never ceases to amaze me how selfish some parents can be when their children are ill.they are still determined to send them in,even though sometimes all they need is a day or two off school !OP you are not being unreasonable

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 13/10/2009 23:55

just to play devils advocate - perhaps she had a job/meeting to go to that she just couldn't miss. It does happen.

In reality, I do think YANBU, but sometimes, sadly, people have to do this.

FimbleHobbs · 14/10/2009 00:05

Depends how poorly the child was. I would send in a child with a high temp, cough and complaining of tummy ache if it wasn't much of a cough (lets face it they can last weeks) and I wasn't convinced about the tummy ache (imo experience 'I have tummy ache' is often child speak for: I can't be arsed)

My DCs seem to be 'programmed' higher than the normal temperature range anyway so I'm used to them getting hot.

Saying that if I'd been informed of an immuno-compromised child in DCs class I would be a bit more wary.

Thing is though, the school didn't call her to fetch him, so he must have been ok, so she wasn't wrong.

Monsterspam · 14/10/2009 00:19

YANBU - kept DD off today for the very same

womblingfree · 14/10/2009 01:31

My DD had temp late Sunday night but was ok yesterday morning so sent her in.

Got a call to pick her up cos she had a temp at 2.15. She flopped on the sofa for a bit then did some homework (her idea!!!), ate all her dinner and crashed out at 6.30.

This morning her temp was still up initially so decided to keep her home, but by 8.20 she was begging to go to school and her temp had dropped to virtually normal so took her in and she was fine.

As Fimble says - temp aside you have to judge for yourself based on knowing your own child how seriously to take their symptoms.

I can understand you being so concerned about it after your LO being so poorly though. I must admit when DD's nursery had 7 out of 42 kids off with swine flu over the summer I kept her home for the week.

madamearcati · 14/10/2009 10:15

YANBU she shouldn't have been in school.However with all this OTT drive on attendance parents can feel pressurised into taking their child to school if they have already been off a bit this term already.

Chica31 · 14/10/2009 10:25

YANBU
Last year when I was pregnant with DD I was ill so many times due to parents sending their children to school. Mainly with a terrible cold which turned into a chest infection and then a vomiting bug. It was so unfair on the other children as I ended up with having to take loads of time off work and feeling so guilty.

StrikeUpTheBand · 14/10/2009 10:39

It makes me mad that people do this, but I can see why sometimes what with work pressures and attendance targets at school. I am also a teacher and pregnant (a high risk pregnancy) and the whole swine flu thing was a nightmare for me. I have also had situations when a child has come in and the parent has said to 'keep an eye on them' because they were vomiting all night or have had a temperature/diarrhoea. I have to tell them to take them home as our policy is supposed to be 48 hours. The last thing you want when you're worrying about a high risk pregnancy is a child coming in with something catching and also passing it on to the whole class is not what we want. On the other hand, the head at our school is a lot less fussy about accepting ill children due to attendance targets - which is a shame.

Ladyatron · 14/10/2009 10:43

she should have kept him off for his sake, poor wee mite. but i think you are all being a bit precious about your kids catching stuff, it is inevitable.

StrikeUpTheBand · 14/10/2009 10:44

Also, I find it annoying that even though I work in a school and children are sent home when ill (people often grumbling because parents are struggling to get out of work to pick up their child within the hour) I am then given the grumpy treatment when my own child is ill and I have to pick him up from nursery (I have even been asked if I was going to drop him off somewhere else and then come back into work)!

LouMacca · 14/10/2009 10:55

YANBU.

I find it incredible that one mum at our school has been constantly moaning about how poorly her daughter is over the last couple of weeks on Facebook (cough, cold, high temp, lethargic etc) yet she still sends her in to school every day!

scroobiuspirate · 14/10/2009 10:58

on the other side, i have athread running right now about absence due to illmess. my dd is reg ill and i keep her off.

then the school get arsey.

exbrummie · 15/10/2009 20:26

A few years ago there was a vomiting bug going round dc's school and some people were still sending kids in. One teacher had loads of kids with buckets etc next to their seats and was livid saying that she was a teacher not a nurse!
When they tried to contact the parents they didn't there was nobody home.

exbrummie · 15/10/2009 20:30

sorry,meant to say there was nobody home

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