in not expecting nasty or sarcastic comments when posting a genuine conundrum?

[mrshibbins]

"we don't allow personal attacks no matter how unreasonable you think someone is. Do report any you see. Thanks, MNHQ."

it seems to me both from reading other threads, and from starting threads myself, that there is a small percentage of MN posters who can't give a constructive objective POV and like nothing better than putting their boot in in a very personal and unhelpful way which I think is a form of online bullying ...

what do you think constitutes a 'personal attack'?

should it be ignored, self-governed or reported?

what level does it have to go to before it IS reported?

LOl at those pants. Maybe tie rack sell them. Velvet pantaloons an excellent choice.

Fighting pants Excellent.

think it's a tricky one tbh.

On the one hand, the screen does not convey emotion/expression, so something written in a certain way can easily come across as blunt/rude/harsh, so easier to get upset at a typed comment that would not have come across in the same way face-to-face.

But on the other hand, I do hate the way that Ibu is seen as a free-for-all, and that if you post there you deserve anything you get, even if that's being told to shut the fuck up. I also think that ibu has brought down the helpful tone of mn, because a lot of people don't look at what topic a post is under and will just pile in anyway. Have seen numerous posts on threads in different areas saying "yabu," and then continuing with a tirade of abuse.

I think people are at fault on both sides of the argument. I think that people do need to be open to the fact that others will disagree with them if they're posting on a message board which is essentially open to anyone and everyone, but on the other hand I also think that sometimes people need to think twice before piling in. There's disagreeing, and then there's being abusive...

goodness me - you asked for an opinion on your actions, you didn't like what you were told.

Now you come whining that people are being nasty in giving their honest, invited opinion?

I don't think anyone personally attacked you - they told you how they construed your behaviour ethically which is, after all, what you asked for. Bad luck that some people thought you WERE being unethical. I am sure that's not what you wanted to hear, but that's AIBU unfortunately.

BTW, thread about a thread? Not cool.

totally agree, wannabe. i think AIBU should go, but it won't, because it's the most popular topic on the site.

totally agree, wannabe. i think AIBU should go, but it won't, because it's the most popular topic on the site.

I am wearing my fighting bodice btw. It has go-faster-stripes and spiky bits on the hips.

but yes, I agree that AIBU does get unecessarily nasty and lowers the tone

[cocks finger and sips Earl Grey from bone china teacup]

You could get flames down the sides too?

Wish I had tea, the kettle is on the other side of the room and I am snuggled on the lounge...

Mrshibbins - when I first answered your thread, I genuinely gave my POV, but it looks to me like you've posted this thread for reasons that may be construed as bullying by your definition?

Starting a thread to try and get answers that would end up indirectly slagging off a poster who disagreed with you on another thread, to me looks pretty bad.

I don't agree with bitchiness, but you're getting a bit pissed at some of the other posters for pulling you up on what you've blatently done.

me normally

me in AIBU standard issue fighting pants

I bought the outfit for AIBU after an ill-conceived one entitled "AIBU to feed fruit shoots to my 3mo while taking her out of school to watch jeremy vile being filmed" and expected the answer "no".

yes please to flames down the side.

Do you think that jubbly-guns a la Austin Powers would be a bit OTT? Probably. Perhaps just discreet lasers. After all I do have my RPG in my handbag, so jubbly guns might be just too much firepower.

so being snippy about someone's spelling? abrasive? nasty? or blunt?

Someone gave me some advice on a thread on the basis that they were a lawyer. However, this person misspelled a fairly basic legal term. That made me suspect that they were not in fact a lawyer at all. Or not one who gave much attention to detail, which any good lawyer ought to do. In which case I didn't feel inclined to give their advice much credence.

Make sense?

lol. it was a typo.

lol. it was a typo.

you need good eyesight, but these are my fighting pantaloons [http://mirror.zybez.net/img/idbimgb/10396.gif here]

I'll try and find a photo of my bodice.

Go faster stripes for when it all explodes in your face and you have to get out for a namechange PDQ.

I wonder if anyone has ever arsed it right up, gone and namechanged and then gone back in disagreeing with their own OP

Lawyers misspell lots of things (that is why they have secretaries ).

Also this is an internet forum not a court document. Standards are lower and not everyone bothers with a spell check (whether computer or manual).

I actually think you got treated pretty nicely in the other post.

Am loving fighting trousers. Does the fighting bodice come in a bf version?

oh FUCK i have work to do i CANNOT be arsing about on here googling images of aggressive trousers...

I actually would rather enjoy one of these (though I suspect not as much as DH would).

YABU.

Both here.

And there.

Sorry if your Mum feels shite about all this will stuff.

blimey youngvisitor what size are you? Zero is so last year you know....