To be completely p***ed off for being flamed in AIBU for having an opinion ????

[ThroughlyFedUp]

Well, am I ???

Who says I am not enjoying myself? I like winding people up.

I try and remember on mumsnet (someone on here posted a link to a great cartoon about it...)

Normal person + anonymity + audience = total fuckwad.

There's no boundaries on here, often people don't give a shit about others' feelings or POV. They just want to vent or rant or be part of the majority or whatever. I think you need to be a bit prepared for it if you're on an AIBU thread, tbh, but what really pisses me off is getting flamed on other threads specifically dealing with that topic (i.e. pro-BFing, pro-HE etc).

You have to be quite tough on here

I do. Time was when I used to give my opinions, but theyre in the majority now, and they shout very loudly and aggressively.

Thanks bibbity, that's what I think.

daftpunk - Fine, if you think I ABU, then say so, you don't need to be nasty or bitchy about it.

I DID like MN, but I think I might keep away from now on

How interesting OP. I wasn't agreeing with you at all. I was disagreeing with you!

op;

i have said so....yabu.

deal with posters you have the problem with on the thread concerned...

you don't seem to have a problem dealing with me..?

That's the thing robberbutton, the thread was specifically about extended b'feeding, so I told the story of my aunt who b/f until her DS was 3, almost 4, but that I didn't like seeing her doing it in public when he was that age and that it had actually put me off b'feeding when I had my own kids & some of them came down on me like a ton of bricks !!

daftpunk - I have tried dealing with the posters on the thread in question, but they are so far up their own backsides that whatever I say, I am clearly in the wrong because I disagree with them.

TheFallenMadonna - You said "I just don't get this "it's my opinion and I insist on stating it, but if you have an opinion about my opinion you can just keep it to yourself" nonsense."

I thought this was you agreeing with me because I gave an opinion on another thread & then was blatently told that I was rude/ignorant/wrong because it was different to the majority on that particular thread.

Oh dear oh dear.

OP, you reduced something that many MNers care about, something that they have strived hard to achieve, something that is a very important part of their parenting relationship down to the comment 'Gross !!!'

Now have your opinion by all means, express that opinion freely but have a little care when being so judgmental in your namecalling. Can you not see how that would hurt? Not agreeing with somebody is very different to dismissing an entire parenting norm with one crass comment.

You disagreed with other people

They disagreed with you

Only connect!

I never said that any one persons opinion was wrong, or not the same as mine. I just said what I thought, never targeted anyone else because of what they said.

TBH, I don't really care about their opinions, because mines the only one that counts anyway

I think it's probably best to put it down to experience and move on, thoroughlyfedup.

Remember, none of these people know you, you don't know them, try not to take it personally. MN is good for support on the other topics but be wary of AIBU unless you are ready for a ruck...

GhostWriter - If you read my post properly you will see that the comment "Gross" came straight after where I said he played with her nipple in public !!! Not the actual b'feeding part.

well then i think YANBU,

but i don't quite agree with robberbutton, because i actually think that people that get personal and unpleasant on here have something wrong with them. it is not nice.

fuckwad anonymity audience = hate fuelled venom spitting poster from the ninth ring of MumsHell.

nice person plus the same = averagely opinionated MNer.

You are confusing opinion with fact OP. Of course you can be of the opinion that breastfeeding is not for you but what you were doing on that thread was disputing fact. No ff is not the best for a baby, it's an inferior substitute. Yes, bfing an aged 2+ child is a biological norm. Yes there are myriad benefits to extended breastfeeding (although, more accurately, there are negatives to not doing it). Have an opinion by all means but accept that you possess that opinion alongside facts that disagree with it and you lack the necessary experience to understand extended bfing.

Look at it this way. I have never ff a child. If I schlepped onto a thread and said 'eugh, my aunt ffed her child. Gross !!!' or started spouting nonsense about ffing that was nothing to do with facts and not related to any experience of my own, then you'd be offended. And rightly so. I wouldn't be so rude to presume things about something I have no experience or knowledge of.

I know, have just read through the thread. IM(vvvvvvvv)HO, that topic would heve been better posted on a BFing thread, but it's just these kind of things that people feel incredibly sensitive about. I thought your post was perfectly reasonable - even though I am pro-extended bf-ing, but I can see how people can find it a bit odd/unsettling when it's so counter-cultural.

Being flamed is horrible, but happens to pretty much everyone at somepoint. I've been in tears before and namechanged, ugh. It's nice when someone comes and sticks up for you but I guess lots of people just don't want to risk it.

The playing with the nipple is an evolutionary thing. It stimulates letdown of milk. It's very clever. It's what nipples are for. It's far from gross. But you wouldn't understand it because you haven't bfed as I already pointed out.

I agree Edgar. Just makes me a bit wary now about actually commenting on anything, especially if my opinion differs from the majority.

You need to get over it (and yourself) and grow thicker skin imho.

YANBU you get flamed for any opionion that is different to the collective on a post

if people are so easily offended by anyone who has a different opinion to them about BF why don't they stick to the topic, if it is in AIBU anyone can post.(not directed at the op) I get pissed of with the anti FF posts all over the place. I hide the topic,
Imo FF is not inferior, it is feeding your baby.

People allow you to have an opinion but on that thread it quickly became apparent that you didn't really know what you were talking about.

I don't mean your personal story, I mean the facts on extended bfeeding.
Therefore in alot of what you said you were wrong and that is what people were disagreeing with.

You just can't seem to accept the facts about extended bfeeding and to quote your children's health against your aunts doesn't really count for much!

So yes yabu because you got flamed for being wrong and you just can't see it.

EdgarAllenPoo - it just seems to happen so often though! I really do think it's completely different to being face to face with someone - you don't try so hard to understand where they're coming from, and there's no niceties or social norms to stick to - I bet people get to the 'fuck off' stage a LOT quicker on here than in real life, even if in RL they're thinking it in their heads.

GhostWriter - In fact, at the time I was first flamed, I hadn't even disputed anything, just told my story !!
I never even actually disputed that breast feeding was best, just asked for proof that it is still best when the child is older than 2.
Funny though, never got that "proof", just more flaming.
As for the nipple thing: fine, fair enough, whatever you say BUT I still don't think it's appropriate to see this happening IN PUBLIC FFS !!!!!!!!!! I am not entitled to think that ???? I don't see how that is me "lacking experience" to have formed that opinion. Even if I had b/f my 2, I would not have fed them at that age in public, let alone let them play with my nipple.
(I clearly stated that it was done in a clubhouse on a caravan site, it was at night & the clubhouse was heaving).

i might add, i never read that thread you were on, so am not comenting on that in particular.