I know how you feel. FIL lives in Cumbria and we were in South Wales. We found our months later that he'd come down to stay with a friend of his - no more than 30 minutes away from us - and hadn't even thought of telling us he was down/visited. I can't remember if this was before or after he'd met DD for the first time (she was 13 months when that happened) - and he's only seen her once since (now 3.2).