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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed that the midwife is late.

22 replies

abbierhodes · 06/10/2009 09:58

I took a couple of hours off work to see her for my booking in appointment at 9. I have to be in work by 11.30, so if she's much longer I won't be able to see her.

It is realy difficult to get time off as I'm a teacher, so I can't just book a morning off, I have to get my lessons covered etc.

She hasn't even phoned, and she's an hour late.

OP posts:

hobbgoblin · 06/10/2009 09:58

shes possibly stuck on delivery suite???

PeachyTentativelyPosting · 06/10/2009 09:59

Emergency or traffic- havng ben accompanied to hospital a few times in the past by comm MW on rounds (BP) it happens.

Do you not have her number?

Alibooobaandthe40Phantoms · 06/10/2009 10:01

Unfortuately this is pretty common when midwives are visiting you at home. Call outs, homebirths etc all disrupt the best laid plans.

Do your school know that you are pregnant? My friend is a teacher and she told her head right away and they were very good with being flexible for time off.

Original poster

abbierhodes · 06/10/2009 10:03

I've tried ringing her, there's no answer. I've left a message. I suppose it could be an emergency. School do know I'm pregnant, and they're great, it's just inconvenient. I'm not sure whether to ring them and tell them I'll be even later as I'm still waiting for her, or just give up on her and go in.
If there's an emergency I could wait all day and still need another day off!

OP posts:

GhostWriter · 06/10/2009 10:06

Yes YABU.

Midwives are very often delayed and while it can be something straightforward like traffic, it's usually because another pregnant woman needs her, or a very new Mum.

It's frustrating but you don't know what is happening to another pregnant/new mother out there.

Alibooobaandthe40Phantoms · 06/10/2009 10:06

Have you got a general community midwife number? If you haven't then your GP surgery should have it, or if they don't then the hospital will.

FlamingoBingo · 06/10/2009 10:08

YABU She may be at a birth, or anything. You'll need to get used to MWs and HVs turning up late.

Original poster

abbierhodes · 06/10/2009 10:09

Ali, I've left a message on her answer phone. So, any suggestions as to what I should do? Do I wait or go to work.

OP posts:

theyoungvisiter · 06/10/2009 10:16

My MWs were always very upfront that if you wanted appointments at home, the possibility of their being late was unfortunately part of the deal.

They explained that they might be held up with someone with severe problems, high BP, low foetal movement, and it's not like an appointment in hospital where you can just pass the patient off to your colleague to deal with and go onto the next person in the queue.

Or often the MWs who do home visits are also the ones doing postnatal visits, and you can't run out on a just-delivered woman in floods of tears because her baby isn't breast-feeding properly and no-one has shown her how to latch him on.

There ARE more important things than running late for work or having to reschedule an appointment, although I agree it's very annoying at the time.

Usually if you need an appointment to run to time you'll be better off going to the hospital (if they run clinics there) or seeing your GP, although of course even then there's no guarantees.

theyoungvisiter · 06/10/2009 10:19

if you don't hear from her then I would just leave when you have to.

Don't wait around indefinitely - she might have to reschedule altogether - that's happened to me several times.

Reallytired · 06/10/2009 10:20

I'm afraid its the nature of the beasties. You could be waiting in all day. I'm surprised that you are having a home visit ante natally. I didn't even get a home visit check my house out to see that its fit for a homebirth.

Are you sure that the booking in appointment wasn't supposed to be at the hospital or the doctor's surgery? Maybe you have got mixed up. Its easily done with a pregnancy brain.

gingernutlover · 06/10/2009 10:21

abbierhodes

i can completely see where you are coming from. I am a teacher too and it is not just a case of taking adays annual leave or booking a morning off as you say.

It's not the midwife's fault and like you say you may stay home all day for her to not turn up at all. Maybe better to just go into school since like you say you may need their goodwill for yet another day off.

Is there anyway you could see a midwife at your GP's instead? My midwife was very good about saving her 4pm appointments onwards for people just like us. Once you are on MAT leave then you can go whenever.

Original poster

abbierhodes · 06/10/2009 10:22

I didn't want an appointment at home, they insist on it round here for your booking in appointment. I wanted to go to the clinic, it would have been much easier as even if you're kept waiting, at least you know what's happening!

I know there are more improtant things than being late for work. My main priority is getting booked in with my midwife, and I don't know when that can happen now.

I'm really going to have to give in and go in a few minutes.

OP posts:

flowerybeanbag · 06/10/2009 10:23

I'd be surprised if the OP got to choose where her booking in appointment would be. Here we have it at home, that's the deal, no option to have it at the surgery or hospital, that's just the way they do it.

If you really must be in work by 11.30 you'll have to leave it today, as even if she turns up ime booking in takes ages anyway. Trouble is doing that means organising another morning off later...

flowerybeanbag · 06/10/2009 10:23

x-posts

theyoungvisiter · 06/10/2009 10:31

Leave a message on your MW's phone explaining that you can't wait any longer, and then when you have more time ring the hospital and explain the situation.

I am sure they will have a bit of flexibility regarding situations like this, particularly if you've already wasted one morning. Whether that be scheduling you for the end of the day so that the wait runs into your evening, or letting you book in at the hospital or whatever - there's no LAW saying you have to book in at home, that's just their protocol and I bet they CAN change it if there's a good reason.

theyoungvisiter · 06/10/2009 10:32

and don't stress too much - there's nothing magical about getting booked in at 12 weeks.

How many weeks are you? As long as you get your scan in the right window, that's the main thing.

BexieID · 06/10/2009 10:37

With Tom my booking in appt was at GPs but with DC2 it was at home and she said she'd be here between 9-12. MW arrived about 10:30.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 06/10/2009 10:47

I''d phone school and explain the situation. Theymay prefer you to get the appointment out of the way rather than have to book another day off for you.

I was never sen on-time by the mid-wife at the hospital. Too many pregnant women, not enough mid-wives. My booking in appointment took 4hours of waiting.

At least you are able to MN at home

Reallytired · 06/10/2009 11:20

Could you not arrange your booking appointment for half term? I am surprised they insist on seeing you at home. It shows how much care varies around the country.

BalloonSlayer · 06/10/2009 11:27

How can people tell someone - especially a teacher - that she is being unreasonable for expecting an appointment to be kept, or a phone call?

Yes there may be a reasonable explanation, probably an emergency, but teachers cannot get time off just like that, and she has every right to feel frustrated and upset.

If I were you abbie, I'd ring back and say nicely that as taking time off is so difficult for teachers, and you have already had a morning off for an appointment which did not take place, you had better have the booking in appointment during half term when you are at leisure to wait in.

Original poster

abbierhodes · 06/10/2009 11:46

Thanks for all the posts! She came in the end.

No emergency, she'd mixed me up with another booking, and arrived at this other lady's house early, throwing her out of sync as well!

She phoned me at 10.45 and offered to either come then or reschedule. I phoned school, and obviously they prefered to cover me for another hour than for a whole morning another day! So all's well that end's well.

Everything is done at the clinic or hospital from now on, so easier to follow (although if my last two pregnancies are anything to go by, the endless waiting is what I'll be moaning about then!)

OP posts:

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