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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that men touching children is actually OK?

16 replies

rachyh85 · 04/10/2009 20:54

ok, so i know the word 'touching' might be misconstrued here, i mean touching as in hand on shoulder, sitting on knee, playing with etc (not innappropriatly!)
So, is it just me or do people seem to have issues with men touching children in the way that women would, when it would be fine?!
If your child had a male teacher, and they wet themselves at school - shock horror! a man might change them into dry clothes !!! (eurgh!-what?)
especially with the recent news of the sick female nursery worker who abused the children in her care, i just dont get why its ok for women to do some things that are deemed as innappropriate for men to do!
and what is with the 'sitting on knee' thing?
if we're not careful, we'll be raising a generation of children unable to accept physical contact from men...
opinions?

OP posts:
pigletmania · 04/10/2009 20:57

Those things you have highlighted to me is fine, is it all males are paedos weekend by the way.

rachyh85 · 04/10/2009 21:00

it appears to be doesnt it, just wanted to see why people think its wierd for men doing things that they wouldnt mind women doing... i dont it?

OP posts:
5inthetomb · 04/10/2009 21:00

YANBU, there is nothing wrong with it. It only becomes an issue if that person makes it one.

rachyh85 · 04/10/2009 21:00
  • i dont get it
OP posts:
StableButDeluded · 04/10/2009 21:07

'Course it's ok. What 5inthetomb said.

ABetaDad · 04/10/2009 21:20

Of course it is. My DSs are touched, grappled, thrown, and held by an 18 stone 6' 6" truck driver at Judo every week. He is adored by the kids and he is fantastic with them.

There IS DEFINITLEY something wrong on MN today. There have been several of these sort of threads. Very sad.

Ivykaty44 · 04/10/2009 21:22

the sick female nursery worker who abused the children in her care,

she had a crb check......... a fully enhanced one

frumpygrumpy · 04/10/2009 21:22

I think the OP is actually in support of men being trusted with all the stuff we 'naturally' trust women with.

Ivykaty44 · 04/10/2009 21:34

I dont naturally distrust men

Lizzylou · 04/10/2009 21:38

I have two boys, they will grow into men eventually.

And yes, women are obviously just as capable of being vile perverts as men.
So I agree, you can be too paranoid and it is awful to think that men would be too inhibited to interact with children for fear of being painted as a Paedophile.

TrillianSlasher · 04/10/2009 21:41

YANBU

busybutterfly · 04/10/2009 23:18

YANBU. And pleased to see some sensible comments on the subject! My 3 DC's are grappled with, thrown around and generally rough housed with each other and my 6ft+, 18st DH. Long may it continue!

LyraSilvertongue · 04/10/2009 23:22

DP and a male friend were talking about this last night, how they are afraid to touch any child other than their own in case it's misconstrued. It's such a shame that decent poeple are made to feel this way.

ABetaDad · 05/10/2009 07:15

Lyra - I feel the same about talking to or touching a child unless I have permission from a parent and they are there with me.

NestaFiesta · 05/10/2009 10:20

I totally agree Rachyh85. YANBU.Its getting out of hand now. Its going to create an atmosphere of fear amongst children and its making parents see suspicious motives that don't exist.

One example of this ridiculous hysteria is this: I took my DS(3) to a church playgroup and he banged his knee and was crying. The vicar's wife said "I wish I could give him a cuddle" and I said "feel free" and she said "No, I can't. I'm not allowed". This was in front of me, with my consent, in broad daylight and there was still a rule saying she couldn't. Now that really is mad. We all need to calm down!

pigletmania · 05/10/2009 10:26

Totally its just sad sad sad. What else can i say you all have said it for me.

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