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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say to my mum "FGS DB has a computer can't he do this for you"

26 replies

Saltire · 04/10/2009 18:08

She and step dad are going to Dundee end of October. She wants me to look onine to find a premier inn/travel lodge near teh Caird Hall for them to stay in, for less than £50 for one night and then to book it. I live a 7 hour drive away from them and all this is being communicated by phone yet DB lives in the same town and has a PC, why cant he do it?

OP posts:
ChunkyMonkeysMum · 04/10/2009 19:12

Maybe they trust you to get it right ?! I know my parents would prefer me to organise something like this for them than my DB. God knows where they'd end up staying !!

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 04/10/2009 19:13

Could you not call your DB yourself & say you haven't really got the time, so wondered if he could maybe look into it for them ???

lovechoc · 04/10/2009 19:15

Get your DB to sort it out, and say you have enough on your plate just now. But tbh, I'd get the same from my folks too, I'd have to organise it, because DB can't even manage himself never mind anyone else!!lol

SausageRocket · 04/10/2009 19:16

presumably DM would communicate it by phone to your brother too ? What difference does 7 hrs away make ? Unless you are in a diff timezone or something and the calls are inconvenient ?

moondog · 04/10/2009 19:17

You couod have done it in the time it's taken to write your post though!

JustAnotherManicMummy · 04/10/2009 19:19

Order them that Which? Guide to computers that's being hawked all over the telly for luddites less computer literate people and then tell them to do it themselves!

Original poster
Saltire · 04/10/2009 19:36

sausagerocket - she has been at DBs 3 times this week she could have asked him then! DB is a bit useless and SIL isn't much better, I am just annoyed that I ahve had to spend ages looking at premier inns travel lodges etc, then spend 25 inutes on phone trying to explain which part of Dundee they ar ein!

OP posts:
Hando · 04/10/2009 19:42

What? It'd take maximum 10 minutes. Go onto premier Inn and Travel Lodge websites, put in the date, see which is cheaper and book. It certainly wouldn't take ages!

Original poster
Saltire · 04/10/2009 19:57

There's more to it than that, I have to ring them up try and explain patiently where it is, ( in comparison to Riverside drive) how much it is, then try and find a cheaper one, but they don't want to pay for a taxi so it can't be too far away, and the one i looked at was to expensive and my eyes hurt, my hands hurt, my head hrts and I feel crap but I still have to do this.
I am just annoyed, sometimes my mum annoys me and I feel she relys on me too much and expects me to do things even though there are 2 perfectly fit and healthy brothers of mine one of whom lives with them.

just ignore me, having a really bad time of it just now and just moaning at everyone

OP posts:
moondog · 04/10/2009 20:36

Oh, in that case, thne yes they bloody should do it. Why don't you say this to your brothers and your mother?

MaLopez · 04/10/2009 20:50

Stop doing it now. My sister who is a medical doctor used to phone me about train times/flights/hotel rooms etc. I will find out, give her the information then she will ask for earlier trains/different dates etc. And we went on ad infinitum.

One day, I just said No. Ask you son/daughter anyone else but me. I am at work/busy etc. Worked a treat. She still asks and I still say no. No more enabling on my part.

hormonstersnomore · 04/10/2009 21:37

I'm an enabler too, and starting to say 'NO' - finding it very empowering.

Why should it always be us who have to do things, keep in touch, interpret, translate and mediate?

Have no more of it - these are all adults who are capable of doing things for themselves (I sound braver than I act btw )

squeaver · 04/10/2009 21:49

My mother's constant refrain "could you just look something up on the computer for me...?"

Then she gives me the address

"It's 3 ws full stop tesco full stop oblique ...."

Oblique. ffs.

moondog · 04/10/2009 22:39

What's the 'oblique' refer to?

PolarCub · 05/10/2009 00:55

If you haven't already booked somewhere try here It's only a two minute walk from the Caird Hall.

WebDude · 05/10/2009 02:57

"I have to ring them up try and explain patiently where it is" - if you don't manage to avoid it completely in future, I'd suggest sending a comprehensive e-mail to DB with the web links for how you found the particular hotel, and then streetmap.co.uk or multimap.com link to the location so he can print out a map for your Mum.

Then say to your Mum that all the info has gone to DB and he'll be able to print out a map... He also has the links to help find others for her while she is with him (you'll have done the initial bit, indeed, keep note of the links you've used this time round)...

No need to spend ages trying to explain directions any more - if it doesn't suit, your DB will be tasked with follow-up checking and she can see it before her very eyes too!!

squeaver · 05/10/2009 08:04

Moondog - it's "slash".

They called it oblique when my mother learned to type in Victorian times the 50s.

ssd · 05/10/2009 08:14

saltire, I know what you're getting at. You've got an old mum, haven't you? If I remember right your mum is 83? I remembered you posting about her before, cos my mum is 82 and I'm the person who sorts out everything for her and I know how wearing it all is. I've got 2 siblings that live far away, I'm the one closer by and what annoys me is when they phone and say "oh mum sounds fine" and I think what the hell do you know, you never see her, you haven't a clue.
If I've got you mixed up with someone else, then my apologies. But if not, I know you'll probably just book the bloody hotel for your mum and grumble to yourself, your brother would probably arse it up and you'd be left with more crap to deal with.
ssd xx

Original poster
Saltire · 05/10/2009 15:02

ssd - mixing me up with someone else, my mums 63! Mind you I do have an old aunt who's 83 and drives me nuts, maybe it's her you are thinking of

OP posts:
Curiousmama · 05/10/2009 15:10

Good post WebDude, agree with that.

SardineQueen · 05/10/2009 15:10

My parents are like this and DHs. And we both have siblings still living at home with them and they still ask us!

Just remembered that when I had DD1, when she was 3 days old DHs dad rang and asked him to go to their house to sort their computer out

He said no...

Just tell them no

MorrisZapp · 05/10/2009 16:01

It's not just old folk. My pal frequently asks me if I'd mind looking up flights etc as I'm 'on the computer so much'.

I have patiently explained to her that I have the same google as everybody else and I can't magically find cheap deals that are hidden from others.

Also, I'm on the computer doing my stuff. I enjoy doing my stuff. I don't enjoy doing other people's stuff.

WebDude · 05/10/2009 17:14

Ask for a commission, of say 10%, MZ, on whatever the holiday costs...

Say you are happy to be her personal travel agent for that much

moondog · 05/10/2009 22:38

That's funny Squeaver.

ssd · 06/10/2009 07:56

saltire, it must be your aunt I'm thinking of!

whats happening now, did you book it or get db to do it?

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