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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to let my daughter walk home from school

92 replies

mymotherisveryold · 03/10/2009 23:24

The school is about a mile and a half away. 25 mins walk.

My dd1 is in year 6 she is a very sensible little girl.

One day a week when my dh and I work we put our two small children in day nursery. Is it ok for dd1 to walk home from school, get a snack and then go to ballet.

When she gets back from ballet one of us will be back with her siblings and some dinner.

Or should I just get a nanny?

OP posts:

piscesmoon · 04/10/2009 08:50

You should always go with what the DC is comfortable with-you will probably find she loves the independence, but if she doesn't you can rethink. I would at least give it a go.

Salsavita · 04/10/2009 08:51

You need to let them have their independence.

A family near us put their house on the market before the end of the summer term so that they could move to the next little town where the high school is (we have a school bus that takes the kids from the village) so that the mum could walk her dd to school (she has just started Yr7). I think, luckily for the dd the house has not sold and she is getting the bus with the rest of the village kids. She would have been laughed at.

When I was 11, I was taking the bus into town with my fiends to go around the shops on a Saturday.

SardineQueen · 04/10/2009 08:52

And when I say "around us all the time" I don't mean they are all over the place, just not separated between day and night.

LynetteScavo · 04/10/2009 08:55

But BonsoirAnna lives in Paris...I wouldn't want my DC in a Parisian park after dark; quite different from walking alond our well lit residential road in Suburbia, IMO.

Phoenix4725 · 04/10/2009 08:57

Does dd havethe option odf going to a neighbour if she is worried or someone she can call that can get to her in case of a problem.Otherwise i would say do it my oldeer dc was walking themselves to school by end of year 5.As by year 7 as pointed out they will not want mumaround

bergentulip · 04/10/2009 08:58

Seriously, cycling will get rid of a lot of these worries about the dangers of the streets.

I think 'one' feels instantly safer when zipping along on a bicycle.

I'll stop going on about it now..... (but it is the answer! )

KristinaM · 04/10/2009 08:59

i agree it depends where you live

i assume there is a safe walking route home from school. she is much more at risk from traffic than from being abducted!!

gorionine · 04/10/2009 09:01

Salsavita, I think taking a bus is quite different to actually walking for 25min. In the winter it is dark very soon and if DD1 happens to have an after school club, by the time it finishes it is peach black, no buses and crucially, no lighting on the side of the roead for most of the way back home.

I do not know the the goegraphic setting of OP, but I think it is paramount to judge how safe the walk back is.

Bonsoiranna, I am amazed at your post. After having read you on the RP thread I just do not get you at all. Maybe the police should really expalain to the children and their parents that "bad people" and "danger lurcking" is not always specific to night time when they visit your school next time!

sarah293 · 04/10/2009 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

purepurple · 04/10/2009 09:10

YANBU
It is legal
you won't get a visit from SS
Children do need to learn to fend for themselves.
DD started to walk to school by herself in Y6.
When she started in Y7, she had to make her own way to school (bus or bike) and her own way home.
I don't get in till gone 5 or nearly 6, dependant on which shift I do.
She is now 13 and in Y8 and yesterday she got the bus into Blackpool with a friend to spend some of her birthday money. She, very sensibly, only took £20 (out of over £100). I would have taken the lot and blown it. She bought lunch for herself too.
She is very sensible and I am very proud of her.
She is more mature and sensible than her 20 year old brother, but that's a whole different story.
mymotherisveryold It is the hardest thing in the world, giving them that first bit of responsibility. But it is so worth it.
You do what you feel is right.

piscesmoon · 04/10/2009 09:14

Around our way cycling would be far more dangerous than walking. It all depends where you live.

Salsavita · 04/10/2009 09:14

What time does the school day end? The school I work at - they finish at 3.05pm, so a 25 minute walk would be no problem as it is still light.

LynetteScavo · 04/10/2009 09:21

I'd worry much more about my DS is he were cycling than walking!

BonsoirAnna · 04/10/2009 09:27

Statistically, the danger is after dark ie that is when the crimes take place. Why do you find this so difficult to believe?

cat64 · 04/10/2009 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BonsoirAnna · 04/10/2009 09:41

The police here are adamant that the real danger to children is at dusk, not late on.

BonsoirAnna · 04/10/2009 09:42

And the police will accompany a primary-aged child found in the streets/park alone or with a friend at dusk back home and give their parents a real telling off!

cat64 · 04/10/2009 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Northernlurker · 04/10/2009 09:54

Well Anna, no I don't agree with the French police's interpretation of what is safe and not. Have they been doing this scaremongering for years? If so then that will reduce the number of people out and about doing their normal activities because people would be reluctant to go out alone. Lonely areas are not necessarily unsafe but they do feel more so. I maintain the dangers of the dark are no more than that of daylight - we just imbue it with much more power. My child is as safe walking home from drama at 6pm as she is at 4pm. Obviously I'm not suggesting children should roam alone at 2am - because they should be asleep then!

BonsoirAnna · 04/10/2009 09:56

Scaremongering???! If children at your child's school had been sexually assaulted or offered drugs, would you think that the police were scaremongering?

SardineQueen · 04/10/2009 10:00

Most likely to be sexually assaulted by someone they know, daylight or night is not relevant.

Most likely to be offered drugs - well in the playground I hear - where it is light - street dealers aren't actually very common (in the UK anyway) apart from in certain areas, and even in those they have other fish to fry than children who will not have any money.

Drug dealers do operate in the daytime as well - people who use drugs don't only do it at night.

I would say don't let your child walk home through an area frequented by drug dealers really - take another route.

It's to do with the route/area not with day/light.

purepurple · 04/10/2009 10:01

I would think that the police were coming from the wrong angle.
They need to divert their energies at making the streets safer, not forcing everyone into their homes because the streets are no-go areas.

BonsoirAnna · 04/10/2009 10:05

The naïvety on this thread belies belief. I'm going to leave the thread right now.

deaddei · 04/10/2009 10:06

You are NBU op- very sensible.
When we went to new parents evening at dd's secondary school, the head openly said that they frown on girls being brought to school- they should be getting their under their own steam. Totally agree.
The old chestnut about rapists and paedophiles- they are there all the time, not just after 4 o'clock. More danger of them being groomed on internet, or abused bu family/friends.
I thought we had a nanny state- seems it's worse in France.

gorionine · 04/10/2009 10:07

Purplepurple you are right.

A few years ago, my mum (60yo) came to visit us in the UK. There is a little precint not far from where we leave and I told her that unless an emergency was asking for it, I did not go anywhere near the precint at night.

That same evening she made a point of going there telling me

She absolutely changed my view on things from then on!

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