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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my daughter walk home from school

92 replies

mymotherisveryold · 03/10/2009 23:24

The school is about a mile and a half away. 25 mins walk.

My dd1 is in year 6 she is a very sensible little girl.

One day a week when my dh and I work we put our two small children in day nursery. Is it ok for dd1 to walk home from school, get a snack and then go to ballet.

When she gets back from ballet one of us will be back with her siblings and some dinner.

Or should I just get a nanny?

OP posts:
Original poster
mymotherisveryold · 04/10/2009 00:16

Teetering, it's just what we have walked for the last six years, I am confident in her.

A lot of my friends have been banned from the playground and have to wait in their cars, I haven't, but maybe that is because I am working in London, so pose no threat to being cool.

I always thought I would be there for her, I don't want to make her grow up too quickly.

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 04/10/2009 00:19

You are there for her and a short walk home followed by a raid of the bread bin and a trip round the corner is not like you are sending her out in to the big wide world to seek her fortune! She will be fine.

TeeteringOnTheEdge · 04/10/2009 00:26

mymotherisveryold, if she has walked it for 6 years with you and you are confident in her then maybe a trial run for a week or two? You might feel more comfortable with it then?

It's not something I could do, crazy roads, not the nicest of areas, so it's just something I wouldn't do for another few years.

But good luck with it, I know my daughter would love it. I do the independence building in other ways.

Original poster
mymotherisveryold · 04/10/2009 00:26

Thank you, I think so too, just worried about what other people will think, and whether it would be legal or not, I have been reassured by posting tonight.

OP posts:
Hando · 04/10/2009 01:31

Of course not Northern Lurker. I am aware that anybody posing a threat to a young girl
is also able to come out during the day, but it is safer for her to be walking around on her own in daylight than it is after dark.

I'm more than happy to walk around after dark, but where I live in London I know that I put myself at a much higher risk or being mugged than during daylight.

You don't have to live near a cliff edge or mine shaft to be near areas which are less safe at night; dark lanes, allyways, fields, rough estates etc.

seeker · 04/10/2009 07:27

If you are bothered about her walking (I wouldn't be, BTW) could she cycle?

BonsoirAnna · 04/10/2009 07:31

Northernlurker - where I live, the police come in to speak to the children (primary aged) at school every year, sometimes twice, to tell them to leave the park and go home before dark. As soon as it gets dark, all sorts of nasty things (drug dealers, paedophiles, rapists) start lurking, as they can operate much more freely under cover of darkness. Danger suddenly appears.

But you do really know this, don't you?

OrmIrian · 04/10/2009 07:34

No.

My 10yr old DD walks home (not quite as far) and also looks after her 6yr old brother. DS#1 gets home within about 15mins and DH gets home within about 30 mins.

OrmIrian · 04/10/2009 07:36

Had to have a bit of a snort at the idea of taking DS#1 to secondary school . He'd never live it down.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 04/10/2009 07:42

I was thinking about this in the walk to primary school on Friday. There is a secondary school next to it and I was looking out to see if there were any children being walked to school by parents. There weren't, I couldn't see one! I can't imagine many secondary children being walked to school willingly.

StewieGriffinsMom · 04/10/2009 07:44

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StewieGriffinsMom · 04/10/2009 07:47

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Wallace · 04/10/2009 08:15

I would allow this no problem

paddingtonbear1 · 04/10/2009 08:21

I would say yanbu. When I was 10 my mum let me walk home from school (about 1 mile), have some tea then go out with my friends. She was still at work but she did put some tea out for me (usually salad or something) so I didn't have to make anything. We lived in a small village, no major roads, and obv this was a while ago but you know whether your dd is sensible enough.

MintyCane · 04/10/2009 08:22

I would allow it but would prefer it if mine are with a friend. I am a bit more worried at the moment as there have been incidents where i live .

Ivykaty44 · 04/10/2009 08:29

When it was raining I offered to drive mt dd to secondary school - I got a frowned raised eyebrow look and a no ta I shall walk with my mates.

Letting your kids know that you believe in them and trust them is a great insentive for them to keep that trust and be sensible.

My dd broke her leg - and still wanted to walk to school and back with her mates - this one I refused.

Part of the school day is calling for your mates and walking to school and chatting - then reversing the process after school and winding down beore home with adults.

The more children that walk to school the safer it is anyway.

twopeople · 04/10/2009 08:40

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LynetteScavo · 04/10/2009 08:41

I have a DsS in Y6, and have no problem with him walking home that far, but I'm always waitng at home for him.

I wouldn't trust him not to lose a door key, or remember to get to ballet or what ever on time, and to lock the house after him, etc...but he's a boy, and not a girl.

You have to go with your gut instinct on this one.

Personally I would put DS in the after school club, and make him miss ballet.

twopeople · 04/10/2009 08:42

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JackBauWooohooohoowaaer · 04/10/2009 08:46

YANBU. From the age of 9 I used to leave the hosue and get the bus to school on my own, involving a 5 minute walk and a 20 minute ride across town and back again. I will expect my children to be able ot do the same.

piscesmoon · 04/10/2009 08:46

If she is happy with it then she will be fine. I am very surprised that TeeteringonThe Edge's daughter puts up with being guarded every inch of the way! Once she goes to secondary-less than a year she will have to cope with buses etc. She will also want to meet friends on her own in town. It is difficult but you have to start with the little things.

gorionine · 04/10/2009 08:47

I think it ultimately depends on where you live.

We have the same lenght walk between the school and home and DD1 is in year 6 but I would not let her walk on her own because within a couple of minutes walk out of the school, there are no house anymore, just fields and the main road. As well, we are the only ones walking in that direction (others do drive) so she would be walking really on her own and I do not think she would enjoy it that much anyway.

If there were inhabited houses all the way to school I would feel more comfortable letting her walk.

ATM it is not relly a problem as I have other much younger DCs to get to school anyway so we do walk together. And she will have to take a bus for high school, the bus stop almost in front of our house.

bergentulip · 04/10/2009 08:47

GEt your DD to cycle - the distance will pass quicker, less danger from people able to stop and chat to her, plus, cycling is fun

I used to cycle to and from primary school by myself (but that was in Holland so infrastructure is a bit better).

seeker · 04/10/2009 08:47

Yes, make sure she's got the option to back out without losing face if she finds it too much for her.

SardineQueen · 04/10/2009 08:49

bonsoiranna I think that it is false to say that as soon as darkness falls paedophiles rapists and drug dealers start "lurking".

They are around us all the time. The trick is to be aware and alert whether it is light or dark, to act on instinct if you feel uncomfortable for any reason, to avoid very dodgy places whether it's day or night if at all possible.

To teach children that light = safe and dark = danger is misleading and simplistic.