to threaten ds's school with getting the police involved

[elmofan]

hi , my ds has been getting bullied on/off for the last 3 years , we have lost count as to how many meeting we have had with his principle who keeps telling us that the boy involved is on his final warning ( this boy has already been expelled from 2 other schools) last year he beat up my ds (10) kicked ds in the head & face etc which triggered off migraines which eventually he had to have an MRI scan but everything was ok thankfully , ds came home from school upset yesterday & told me that this boy has told him that he is going " to get him again" after school on monday this boy is also telling another 2 boys in ds's class that he is going to "RAPE" them
dh & i are planning to go up to the head again on monday morning to let her know what is going on , i am sick of feeling like we are the ones who get fobbed off so would i be out of order to let her know that if my ds gets hurt again i will get the police involved ?

hi crackfox , yes it is illegal as far as i know for teachers to hit , but believe it or not the school is lovely & is classed as quite a posh school tbh which makes it all the more annoying ,

How are you and ds doing elmofan?

For god's sake get him outta that school!

hi veritybrulee , things seem to have settled down thankfully since monday ,
he is off school today as he had a bad headache last night & sometimes they can last a couple of days , i have arranged for his best friend to visit over the weekend as he has left ds's school also because of bullying , so he's looking forward to seeing him ,
thank you sooooooo much for all your help verity , you have kept me sane over the last few days x x

Poor boy, I hope he feels better by the weekend. Do you think his headaches might be stress related? My dh gets really bad migranes which are definately stress related and he has had them since he was a child.

I have my fingers and toes crossed that things will work out for you. Let us all know how you get on with the BoM.

hi verity

yes i would imagine his headache was brought on by all the trouble , thankfully he was fine yesterday , the headache was gone by lunch time & ds was back to his usual happy self
he was back in school today & is in good form , i also found out who the chairperson of the BOM is today so will start my letter writing over the weekend
hope the weather improves over the weekend , yuk .

Assault is an offence in or out of school. Harrassment is a course of conduct on 2 or more occasions when the intention is to cause distress.
Your head and governors have a statutory duty to protect the safety of pupils, staff and visitors to the school.
If the child in question is over 10 years old, then he is accountable for his actions.
So, log it with the police, your chair of governors as an official complaint and also your local authority's safeguarding children department.
Good Luck, let us know how you get on.

thanks millenniumbug ,
yes we have logged it with the police & they have told us that as the boy is 10 he can be held accountable for his actions , my gut feeling is that the principal feels we are blowing this all out of proportion but then again it wasn't her child that got kicked in the head last year , she seems very closed lipped with us & sits there looking at us through raised eyebrows without commenting .
she got annoyed with me because i wrote a letter to ds's now teacher explaining the history of events of the bully towards my ds , she said that was her job to fill the teacher in , but we are 6weeks back into the new term & she hadn't bothered , imo - that proves her lack of responsibility .
i am a bit worried about making a formal complaint as she will see this as going over her head & might not help ds at all in the future .

You have given the head every opportunity to do her job and sort things out. She hasn't done so. I am not sure how it could get any worse if you 'go over her head'!

Personally I would go back to the police, as well as following through with the BOM.

(We have had similar issues where the bully had a very difficult home background, and this was being used as an excuse for lack of action. In the end I told the head and ds's class teacher that if they didn't sort it I would escalate the complaint. The bully left the school 10 days later. I wish I had taken a hard line much much sooner.)

thanks nerversaydie ,

glad you got things sorted hopefully we will have a similar outcome
x

I hope so too. The difference it made to DS when the dreaded Reece departed was astounding.

According to the Dept of Ed, you first go to the class teacher with a problem, then the Principal, then the Board of Management, then the Dept.

So, thus far you have gone to the teacher, who is himself causing your ds problems, gone to the Principal, who has done nothing, so next you go to the BoM. You might think about sending a copy of the letter to the Principal at the same time so the she cannot complain about beeing left out of the loop.

Then you will be showing that your aim is to help your ds, rather than getting involved with the politics of the school. If you don't get a helpful response from the BoM, then tell them you will be going back to the Gardai who are already involved in your case. This might spur them on, as I think they will need lots of pressure to do something? Do you know your local TD? Might be worth getting them involved too. The more sources of power you have on your side, the more the BoM will take you seriously. They will be hoping you'll give up and move your ds, so show them you mean business!

thanks verity , fingers crossed i get this sorted once & for all .