To remove my children from childminder because she reported a parent to ofsted?

[threelittlespeckledfrogs]

I am a regular but have changed my name as I am aware I may be flamed for this.

I have three children, a five year old and two year old twins. They go to the childminder's at seven and she takes my daughter to school and picks her up and looks after the twins all day. I had always thought she was a lovely woman and my kids seem to like her.

In light of the recent publicity over the law on looking after friends' children, we were having a conversation about it. I said that I thought the law was outragious and couldn't see what difference it made. I also said that I couldn't understand what kind of busybody would shop someone to ofsted for looking after a friend's child. She then said that she had shopped someone for doing exactly that.

I asked her why and she said that it was unfair that people should be looking after children without having registered.

What made me more than anything though was that she said that the woman she shopped had to stop caring for her friend's child, and that she then took on this child as a mindee.

So not only has she forced a mother to pay for childcare when she was previously able to have her child looked after by a friend, but she has also gained financially from it as she is minding the child.

I am really angry about this and I have seen her in a totally different light now.

I don't want someone like this looking after my children, so I have given notice and the twins will be going to a nursery and my daughter will have to go to before and after school club.

But I am tempted to tell all the parents of her mindees what she is like.

IBU?

YABU for moving your kids! Sorry but IMO, DC's happiness and "settledness" come first over moral stances for a business matter in the past that was nothing to do with you and has no affect on you.

It sounds like you are tempted to drive a moral crusade so she loses business for being "spiteful", all very commendable for sure but now your DCs have to adapt to nursery and after school clubs? do you think they'll be happier there, or has that not been a consideration?

I would have to be comfortable with all aspects of my CM to want to leave my DC with her. I do not like what she has done because it seems malicious and it woukld make me re-evaluate whether or not I wanted ot continue to use her. TBH - and to stir up a hornets nest here - if I were to return to work 2 days a week, for example,but not use a CM or nursery and a longtime very trusted friend of mine with a close bond to my DS who doesn't childmind for others unoficially but is a SAHM with schoolage kids - so not touting for business at all - offered to have him and I wanted to pay her a very small amount for her efforts - which would be well below the annual tax thresholds, then would it be a good thing to report her?? Why is that so wrong. I'm going to run for cover and do bathtime now.

YANBU, especially as you have made it clear that the other woman was not paying her friend to mind her children - i.e. "not only has she forced a mother to pay for childcare" - presumably the mother was previously in a reciprocal arrangement or gave her firend the odd bottle of wine etc.

This CM was vindictive enough to "destroy" the other woman's arrangements in which her child was happy and "bad mouth" the other mother to OFSTED in order to make a financial gain herself. (to borrow pippin's language) I wouldn't want my child being looked after by someone who thinks that this is an appropriate way to behave especially as it appears that she is now boasting about it to select listeners.

Whatever the reason, I wouldn't like my child being minded by a snivelling tell tale.

She wouldn't be the kind of person I'd want in my home, so wouldn't be the kind of person I'd want looking after my DS.

YANBU - to be annoyed that someone is operating a PAID childminding service unregistered, when you have to jump through hoops for ofsted is one thing, yes by all means grass on them. BUT, if this was friends having an arrangement that both were happy with and no money involved, CM is out of order and spiteful

to BRAG about what she has done now, shows her true character IMO

we ARE allowed to change our opinion of our child carers in the light of new evidence....how many parents at little Teds were perfectly happy with the care their kids had from Vanessa George, would have recommended her to babysit etc etc?

YANBU because the people should show solidarity against the government not become its spies and thus undermine community cohesion! The government has got everyone thinking that laws by themselves are inherently moral and so following the law is a "good thing" that people can "pat themselves on the back" for following, but this is not the case.

No i wouldn't want my kids to go to someone like that

In another life she'd be a Staasi informant

If she thought the child was in danger, fair enough. But it was for financial gain and to protect her profession. Vile.

I think the childminder was right to do as she did. The unregistered friend would have been unregistered, would not necessarily have had First Aid training, would not have had Safeguarding (child protection) training and would not have had to jump through the hundreds of hoops that registered childminders have to jump through to maintain their registration. She would have had no Ofsted inspection to ensure the premises were safe. I can quite understand why the CM would have been hacked off about it. There's a reason why the registering of childminders came into existence and it's to protect the interests of the child. Having trained and insured childminders is in the interests of the child.

Disclaimer - I am not a childminder, although I was once. I stopped because the pay is piss poor and it's bloody hard work.

"The unregistered friend would have been unregistered" - well yes. Sorry.

Hassled - there's a big difference between someone carrying on a childminding business without being registered, and a friend making an informal arrangement.

I can see why childminders are pissed of with the first, but the second is none of their business.

As someone said on the other thread, are hairdressers going to start reporting people for cutting their own childrens' hair?

If we're talking the two police officers who had a reciprocal arrangement without cash passing hands then yes, I agree - that prosecution was insane.

But if someone is "informally" earning a living by "informally" looking after a mate's kids - then that's still a business. It's still a money making enterprise - doesn't matter a jot how casual or not it is. And for registered childminders who have jumped through all the hoops, it must really stick in the throat.

well, there's the rub, isn't it? An informal arrangement is one thing, earning a living from childminding is another. But the OP sounds as if it was a genuine case of friends helping each other out that the busybody reported.

Btw, don't believe any of these cases where Ofsted threatens people have ever got to court - so it's entirely possible that Ofsted are over-reaching themselves and going well beyond their actual legal powers.

Yanbu - the childminder is clearly more interested in profit and being a busybody than the welfare of the children she is paid to mind.

You would be unreasonable to tell other parents, but, as she is so interested in profit, you would not be unreasonable to tell her why she has lost the custom of a family with three children.

Then she knows the consequences of her interference - I am assuming the children of the family she shopped were not in danger, which is another matter altogether and you haven't suggested that.

This law makes me soooo angry What is it with this country? It drives me mad! Surely there are bigger problems in this country than responsible trusted adults taking care of someone else's child for a few hours here and there?

I'm a SAHM to DD (age 2), but I have used a CM whilst I did some temp work. DD is mostly happy to go there, but I also have a very good friend locally with a DS same age as DD.

If my friend is happy to have DD for a few hours now and again, and DD is happy to be there, I can't see why is that wrong. I buy the friend a box of chocolates or take her for lunch to say thankyou and we're both happy. It saves me having to pay the CM and imo DD is very happy to be there, whether I am there or not!

DD is as happy at my friends house as she is here at home and I trust my friend implicitly. I will echo a previous poster who said 'it takes a village to raise a child' and I absolutely agree with that.

And don't even get me started on the snide interfering busybodies who for some reason unknown to me feel it is their business to stick their noses into the affairs of others. I bet if their names were made public they wouldn't be so happy to interfere.

So... who is going to shop me then?! Grrrr... {strops off in a huff and throws self on sofa}

"I think the childminder was right to do as she did. The unregistered friend would have been unregistered, would not necessarily have had First Aid training, would not have had Safeguarding (child protection) training and would not have had to jump through the hundreds of hoops that registered childminders have to jump through to maintain their registration. She would have had no Ofsted inspection to ensure the premises were safe. I can quite understand why the CM would have been hacked off about it. There's a reason why the registering of childminders came into existence and it's to protect the interests of the child. Having trained and insured childminders is in the interests of the child."

From the OP, there was no money changing hands just friends helping one another.

Parents dont have to have insurance or be inspected for safety etc so why would friends etc have to be. I'd never use a childminder but would let DS go to a friends house regardless of being inspected or not.

What a horrible person to report friends helping out and then relish taking them as a client knowing what they had done. The OP made the right decision in moving her children.

Well as Edam said, the money changing hands bit is the rub. Cash-free arrangements between friends are one thing, running an illegal business is another. There's nothing in the OP to state which it is.

will the OP return and tell us if the unregistered person was being paid or rewarded?

If it was an informal arrangement solely bet. those 2 friends, surely paid or rewarded or not doesn't really matter. Unless you really have a problem with the tax thing, which would prob. be such a small amount of money it would be below the threshold. I would see it as a problem if someone was touting actively for business and running a CM business whilst unregistered. Surely there is a big difference.

the main thing which would worry me about this cm is that she told the op what had happened. that should be confidential, she is talking about children in her care.

otherwise i am uncomfortable with unregistered care. there needs to be a level below cm for non-relatives but all that compulsory training is there for a reason.

YA definately NBU - no matter what anyone's opinion is, whether the CM is right or wrong, doesn't mean a jot.
The CM is providing a home away from home, if you are not happy with every aspect, you shouldn't leave your children with her.

I look after my sisters children occasionally, my reward is that she'll look after mine occasionally - it works for us because we can be flexible, and we know each others children as well as we know our own - should I be watching my back for disgruntled childminders?
I know childminders are professionals, trained, insured etc, but surely sometimes there's room for informal arrangements? Makes me sad at what the world is coming to

I cannot believe the amount of venom directed towards this (unknown) person. There are people more deserving of the hatred. None of us including the OP can know the full circumstances or details. The minder done what she thought was right - rightly or wrongly.

I take note of what people are saying about being happy about aspects of the c/m BUT that does not give parents the right to dictate what a minder can or can't do or think.
The OP would have been none the wiser and would have carried on with the care she was happy with IF this minder did not foolishly and trustingly speak frankly to the OP.

i pay a friend £10 per week to drive my dc to school across town. they go to her house at 8am and get to school 8.40. the sme at the end of school. is this illegal then?