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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ive just done that "stalking by bebo" thingy ,.... and omg!

25 replies

drlove8 · 01/10/2009 11:18

i was curious about old school members..... particuarly an old friend who i had a blast with at primary/secondary school.
She's doing very well, happy ,healthy and just got married ....and im glad...but then i went and clicked on her "friends list"
She is now friends with another girl who was in our class.... who was the school bully... fair enough, if she's forgiven her .
But the "bully" hasnt aged very well i thought she was her own mother.... ... (and this is the horrible bit) im slightly pleased ,as she used to hit me and call me horrible names and say i was ugly.Every day for years...as a result i became anorexic during my late teens. ....SO AIBU for thinking fate has paid her back ?, (a bit of me is for thinking it at all.

OP posts:
beaniesinthebucketagain · 01/10/2009 11:26

hehe

YANBU, the kind of thing ive done. Nothing bads happened to her shes just fugly, she earnt it making people miserable!

its always nice to see what goes around comes around!

StableButDeluded · 01/10/2009 11:29

YANBU. Serve her right, it's karma.

JustBe · 01/10/2009 11:37

She`s just got the face she deserves!

TheLadyEvenstar · 01/10/2009 11:37

no yanbu i was contacted by a girl i went to school with who made my life hell tormenting me, hitting name calling etc. She messaged me on FB to say how well I looked and how she couldn't believe how slim i was etc and requesting my friendship on there, I thought what the heck anyway I had a look at her pics...she looked like the goodyear blimp (one of her names for me as a 13yr old) and i secretly smiled. kinda like this because while she has got old loooking and rather large, I don't think I look too bad for my age lol.

FabBakerGirlIsSURVIVED · 01/10/2009 11:39

YANBU

Original poster
drlove8 · 01/10/2009 11:39
  • thanks i thought i was going to get a roasting - all bebo is work of devil type stuff..... I do kinda feel sorry for her , sort of . Can you imagine trying to be friends with someone who you know youve made miserable as a child?.... she wasnt exactly nice to my old friend either. I think she must cringe deep down inside whenever she see's N .
Perhaps she's a much nicer person now ?
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TheLadyEvenstar · 01/10/2009 11:41

drlove, the girl who contacted me apologised so many times i ended up feeling sorry for her, she opened up and said she was jealous of me as children because i had it all....little did she know eh? I just didn't brag about what i didn't have and looked after things so was always turned out well where as she was always bragging......

Original poster
drlove8 · 01/10/2009 11:42

Theladyevenstar .... i think you are a better person than i . i didnt send my old friend a message when i wanted to , because i dont want the old bully linking on to my profile from N's .(

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TheLadyEvenstar · 01/10/2009 11:48

drlove, oh i only accepted cos i am a nosey cow lol and wanted to see what she looked like now. she is a size 26 @ 5ft 4" and I am a size 12 at 5ft 8" oh deary me hahahahahahahahahahaha ooppss did i just laugh??

am off to dentist now arghhhhhhhhhh

Original poster
drlove8 · 01/10/2009 11:51

pmsl @ TLES ! , think we might have known the same girl ! < or at least her seperated at birth twin)

OP posts:
lolapoppins · 01/10/2009 12:20

I know its terrible, but I do like to laugh when I see all the pics on FB of people who made my life hell at school. I was taken the piss out of for years for being overweight, and as the years have gone by I have lost it all and am now very slim, while all the girls who used to bully me have piled it on. I wonder if they have ever had the taunts and abuse that they used to hand out to me day in, day out?

funwithfondue · 01/10/2009 12:28

YANBU. You are being human. And I believe very much that you get the face you deserve, Dorian Gray style.

The school bully (who personally had it in for me for five years) has in recent years asked me to be her 'friend' on facebook. Each time I ignore the request, and she's now asked five times.

In my head I've written an eloquent but damning and bitter response to accompany my cyber rejection, recalling her schooldays cruelty but I know deep down it's better just to stay schtum, ignore her (or make the coolest acknowledgement when I see her around in rl) and forget it.

And that was eighteen years ago!

Original poster
drlove8 · 01/10/2009 12:31

lolapoppins -i understand totally .... i wonder too if my bully gets taunted or called ugly .... its all a bit dorien gray ...
mabey there is something in this karma melarky?

OP posts:
Maggie34Behave · 01/10/2009 12:32

I got a friend request on FB from somebody who used to MOCK me rather than bully me iykwim. My taste in music, still being a virgin at 15, you name it. I always thought she was pitiful though, so she certainly never damaged me.

I couldn't believe she requested me as a friend. I accepted it to be polite. What's the worst that can happen. She can see my children are gorgeous. Don't really care. But yes, it's odd.

Maggie34Behave · 01/10/2009 12:34

I think I will do a cull soon!

The ladyevenstart, I admire that person's honesty tbh. we're not obliged to be friends with anybody obviously, but I wouldn't hold somebody's teenaged self against them now as a 30 something (as my class mates would all be).

Original poster
drlove8 · 01/10/2009 12:35

can i also admit to having a giggle at some of her cronies? one girl who wasnt exactly a bully- more of a follower ,has went a bit ott with the peroxide and fake tan- .
loving the patchy orange look! (just being bitchy now)

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Original poster
drlove8 · 01/10/2009 12:38

maggie34behave , you are very understanding.. im glad you survived high school unscathed .

OP posts:
IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 01/10/2009 12:41

DH has an old primary school class mate of ours on his page and seeing his scrawny little punchable face makes my blood boil.
He used to follow me home from school threatening me kicking me in the back etc.
My dad actually taught me how to defend myself (and pretty well too) specifically because of this.
Do you now now he doesn't even remember me at all from school.
At the age of 30 what he did to me is still with me and he can't even remember I existed.
I'm not scared of him at all now but I do have to admit to violent feelings whenever I see his ugly mug on dh page though

Maggie34Behave · 01/10/2009 12:41

Well, I switched school at 16, and I've had a few requests from people at the second school and I've ignored them totally!! Those people were 17 and 18 and they just froze me out.

At least at the first school, that girl who mocked me for liking wham, we were aware of eachother's existence and interacted. she does remind me of those days. Even though we were different. I can see that she's become very honest. Her status updates are quite loop the loop sometimes. Real navel-gazing stuff.

But anybody from the second school?!?!? fakkk awfff. (there, not so mature )

alexfs · 01/10/2009 12:50

At my school reunion a few years ago, the school bully went along just to apologize!

I kept out of her way and never had any problems with her but I still jumped when I saw her! The point being, that kids don't always realise how horrible they are being at the time - doesn't excuse it but could explain a lot. Just as we don't see who has a crush on us - only realise it when we have the benefit of a bit of adult wisdom!

I do think we're only being human to be pleased if they've got fat and ugly and we look ok!

Pikelit · 01/10/2009 12:56

I hadn't realised that anyone over 12 used bebo.

But I'm quite happy to be judgemental on Facebook about anyone I particularly disliked at school - not that I was bullied. It's how they try and "befriend" you that I find pathetic and hilarious. Why? You had no time for each other then, what will have changed?

thesunshinesbrightly · 01/10/2009 13:00

i still see my school bully now, funny how she only picked on ME, but she's still a bitch and i still hate her, if i seen her in trouble would i help??? no, and wouldnt give it another thought.
if SHE messaged me through facebook(wouldnt happen this is a mutual thing), i would in no uncertain terms tell her where to go.

yes op, you can be smug all you like, karma is a wonderful thing.

Gigglymum · 01/10/2009 13:01

Thats what is so great about facebook, its an excuse to be nosy. I have lots of old school friends on my page and have people on there that were not so nice. It must be said that those that were horrid at school have not aged well and are generally quite miserable individuals and also tend to be single, which I find highly amusing
My hubby thinks im awful but you cant help but finally have a little laugh and a dig at them, I mean they put you through it at school, why shouldnt you smile on reflection of their situation

Original poster
drlove8 · 01/10/2009 13:06

i did show her on bebo to dh - he said she looks like a man - she doesnt , he was just trying t make me laugh .... he was a bit at why i would want to even look at her photos .
now my dh thinks im a loon ! -(he was mr popular at his school so doesnt get it really)

OP posts:
Original poster
drlove8 · 01/10/2009 13:11

have to go -laptop dying and need to try charge it with a very dodgy adaptor
note of advice , never by computers from dodgy well meaning friends , especially ones who know where they fall off lorries have conections !
be back later x

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