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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be anoyed that other people think my baby should be sleeping through the night?

90 replies

Olive11 · 30/09/2009 14:00

ds is 17 weeks old and more and more frequently I am being asked whether he is sleeping through yet. The other day a very good friend of mine made the comment 'oh surely he is sleeping through by now!' When I say no I am then asked whether he is on solids yet - like this is the reason for him not sleeping through.

He is a very contented little boy who wakes once during the night for a feed because he is hungry! He then goes straight back to sleep. Is this not normal for a 17 week old? If it doesn't bother me then why should anyone else care?

Sorry for the rant but getting fed up with feeling like he is a bad baby and that everyone elses sleeps through from 12 weeks.

OP posts:
CatIsSleepy · 30/09/2009 17:56

another conversation with my mum today...apparently i should NOT be feeding dd2 in the night any more

sparklesandwine · 30/09/2009 18:06

very disgusted with you for still feeding in the night!!!

apparently i shouldn't still be bfing dd2 as 'she is 11 months now you know, you really need to let go and let her grow up' .......but thats a whole other thread

chegirl · 30/09/2009 18:32

People ask this to have something to say.

It is still annoying though. It can sound as if they are waiting for the 'right' answer. So if you say no you are doing something wrong!

People round here generally start asking the question at about 1 week old.

I used to just stare bewildered at them, then I realised they were being serious. So I started saying YES, yes he is.

That appeared to satisfy them. I can only conclude that a. they all drugged their babies from a very early age so think its normal for a 1 week old to sleep through, b. They now think 'bloody hell mined didnt do that till they were 6, what did I do wrong?' or c. They know I am lying my head off and are backing away because I am clearly a loon.

babbi · 30/09/2009 18:52

YANBU

Ps you are very lucky , if mine had been up just once at night at 17 weeks I would have been ecstatic as it is at 17 months she was still up at LEAST 6 times a night ..... I also got really fed up with people asking what was "wrong with her "
if I knew that I would fix it ..... PPS our GP was a great support - she suggested that I tell people "she is a baby that's whats wrong with her ! "

MintyCane · 30/09/2009 19:00

It is extremely annoying when people go on about sleeping through. My nine year old still wakes me up sometimes. Maybe I should try baby rice as well

ConFuschias · 30/09/2009 19:09

Never mind 9 year olds, my 36 year old DH wakes me up through the night!

ConFuschias · 30/09/2009 19:10
MintyCane · 30/09/2009 19:14

mmmm mine too restless legs ? or is he just a PITA

ConFuschias · 30/09/2009 21:57

just a PITA

  • he needs the toilet
  • he remembered something and has to write it on his to-do list
  • he thinks he heard a noise, so has to go and check

just bloody go back to sleep man!

mummygirl · 01/10/2009 07:36

OP ,my son is 17 months old and still doesn't sleep through. After two babies that slept through from 8 and 11 weeks respectively, this has come as a bit of a shock.

But it's noone's business. People do tell me "oh, don't feed him in the night, he doesn't need it". So I have in a couple of occassions invited people to come and stay overnight and show me what to do when he wakes up and screams -other than feed him. None of these bloody know-it-alls has accepted my invitation yet!!!

Just ignore them and carry on as you are, you and your baby know what works best.

mummygirl · 01/10/2009 07:45

Ineedmorechocolatenow , my dd's toilet trainign took for ever, she was 3.6 when we got completely rid of nappies in the day and 4.6 in the night. And people were comenting on it, as if I'm doing something wrong or as if she's stupid. So irritating.

I'm still waiting for a study to prove that life's high achievers were toilet trained at the age of 2.

HSMM · 01/10/2009 07:51

My 10 year old DD still doesn't sleep through. Never has. (She's not allowed to wake me up any more though) They're all different.

cantpooinpeace · 01/10/2009 07:55

Don't lie......this makes you as bad as them - I'm convinced other mothers lie about 'sleeping through' as I do nothing different to any other of my fellow mum friends and neither of mine slept through for yonks.
Thought it might be different with 2nd but no - was up in the night with 20 week DS. Good to know I'm not alone

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 01/10/2009 08:41

mummygirl - that makes me feel so much better. My friend's DS took 2 years to train fully. I guess it just depends on the child, like everything else about parenting. It's definitely been my least favourite aspect of parenting so far!

Squitten · 01/10/2009 09:06

OP: Don't pay any attention to them as they're likely to be lying themselves!

My DS has just turned one year and we're literally tearing our hair out trying to get him to sleep. He's slept through the night on a handful of occassions over the year but at the moment he's just always hungry at night. We're up with him at least twice every night.

Believe me, the look of horror they're giving you is nothing compared to the look of horror I get with a one year old who doesn't sleep

cantpooinpeace · 01/10/2009 16:06

Or when I dare mention that my 2 year old DD still likes a dummy a night they are poison you know

star6 · 01/10/2009 19:13

cantpooinpeace - so glad to hear that. My DS is only 1 (tomorrow!!) but I can't imagine I'll be able to take the dummy away at night within the next year...

cantpooinpeace · 01/10/2009 19:17

I should start a dummy thread, now that would be busy

star6 · 01/10/2009 19:29

really? I thought Mnetters didn't like them? or was that sarcasm...?

bruffin · 01/10/2009 19:36

I am getting fed up with every mumsnet thread about sleeping through, posters insinuate that if babies sleep through that you are

Either lying

or that they are neglected

Both mine slept through from 12 weeks. I am not lying. Used to feed them before I went to bed about 10 and they slept through until 7 in the morning.
I didn't do any training, they just stopped waking up for a feed. From what I can gather that is perfectly normal behaviour for babies and not something mums need to lie about.
Of course there were times when they woke in the night if they were ill etc, but for the most part they slept all night without feeding from 12 weeks.

CatIsSleepy · 01/10/2009 20:07

well bruffin you were lucky

dd1 actually slept through from 12 weeks as well-i put it down to her being a thumb sucker and being able to self-settle
dd2 is a whole other kettle of fish...no lovely thumb-sucking and self-settling for her darn it

mummygirl · 01/10/2009 20:10

bruffin, chill duuuude (as my 3yo ds would say)

you are a very lucky woman and good on you. Had I stopped at two babies, I'd also be here thinking "but both of mine slept through so early". I'd also probably be thinking that so it happened coz I'm a great parent.

People here are only saying that some babies do, some babies don't -pot luck. And mostly they wanted to comfort OP by sharing their own experiences of sleepless nights with babies much older than hers.

Have some wine and relax xxx

mummygirl · 01/10/2009 20:11

bruffin, chill duuuude (as my 3yo ds would say)

you are a very lucky woman and good on you. Had I stopped at two babies, I'd also be here thinking "but both of mine slept through so early". I'd also probably be thinking that so it happened coz I'm a great parent.

People here are only saying that some babies do, some babies don't -pot luck. And mostly they wanted to comfort OP by sharing their own experiences of sleepless nights with babies much older than hers.

Have some wine and relax

bruffin · 01/10/2009 20:43

Never said it made me a good parent, just fed up with the mumsnet attitude, you must be crap parent if your babies sleep through or your a liar, or it's not normal. It comes out on every thread about sleep.

How does it make the OP feel any better by telling her everyone else is lying?

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 02/10/2009 04:33

Bruffin - Lucky you for your kids' great sleep. Most people are on here trying to offer comfort. I don't think anyone has said that everyone is lying, or that you're a 'crap parent' if they do. Just that often, people do lie. To shut people up and stop the questions.

Stop reading the threads about sleep if it annoys you that much.