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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu..to have snuck out of the office today...and slept on the back seat of my car?!!

27 replies

motherbeyond · 28/09/2009 18:54

i wish i could say i'd been up all night clubbing,or something exciting! but i'm 10 weeks pregnant,suffering with relentless morning sickness and extreme fatigue.the problem is..i started this job 3 weeks ago.i'm finding it so tough.i just had to sleep this pm...but what if i get caught?!

OP posts:
Seabright · 28/09/2009 18:59

Are you doing it in your lunch hour? If so, no problem (except you'd probably be a bit embarrassed if could). Otherwise, I think your employer would definatly think you're being unreasonable.

That said, my DP often has a "day off" at the weekend to go and do something he wants to do. I daydream that when I get a day-off (when is that?) I'll book a room at the Travel Lodge in the next town & just go and sleep all day. Bliss!

Mousey84 · 28/09/2009 19:00

I would say you had been feeling poorly and went to get suitable medication...how long were you gone?

Get an appointment to get bloods done to check iron levels too.

Mousey84 · 28/09/2009 19:01

Oh, and I regularly fell asleep on work sofa (they were extremely comfy) but it was in later pregnancy when I had such a huge bump, noone had the heart to kick me off it.

Runoutofideas · 28/09/2009 19:07

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I started a new job at 10 wks pregnant, and didn't want to tell them about the pregnancy. Was so exhausted I could hardly keep my eyes open. I used to concoct fake meetings, to go off and sleep in the car. A "dentist appointment" once gave me a valuable hour, and I also once memorably fell asleep on the staff loo and had to claim a tummy bug.....

I assume they don't know about your pregnancy? If you have told them then just take some time off sick. If it helps at all, I did find the fatigue disappeared about 12/13 wks for me. Hope you feel better soon.

Portofino · 28/09/2009 19:08

I remember that feeling very well! I dozed off in the middle of teleconference once . My colleagues were NOT impressed. Agree with Seabright about the lunch hour though.

I ended up having to tell work really soon, as I'd just started a secondment that involved commuting to Dublin each week and working 4 x 12 hour days. It was literally impossible! I'd get to about 3pm and be dying on my feet. I felt terrible about it, and i guess you're kind of in a similar situation just having started a new job. You have my sympathies!

Madascheese · 28/09/2009 19:09

I had a friend who used to sleep under her desk while in the very early stages of pg.

I had to sleep 2 hours a day when I was 10 weeks and was 4 weeks into a brand new job too.

Take care of yourself and that teeny bump!

xMad

Earlybird · 28/09/2009 19:09

Do your employers know you are pregnant?

How long were you out of the office?

HecatesTwopenceworth · 28/09/2009 19:11

It's certainly understandable. Many people do get tired in pregnancy. Whether your employers would think it reasonable to sleep while they're paying you depends on them! They might be understanding and not mind and understand you need to take more rest, or they might think you are taking the piss! Are they generally understanding?

Niecie · 28/09/2009 19:12

No of course YANBU - you need to sleep and if you are doing it in your lunch hour it is none of their business. Whatever gets you through.

It would make sense to have an alarm clock though so that you don't sleep too long - it would be horribly embarrassing to go out for 'lunch' and not get back until 4pm.

Earlybird · 28/09/2009 19:14

Niecie - she didn't say whether it was in her lunch hour.

curiositykilled · 28/09/2009 19:15

You can suffer from extreme fatigue during early pregnancy. Your employer should be accommodating to you if you are tired during the day. I'm sure they'd rather give you an extra break in the afternoon than have you taking sick days. Have you spoken to them about your pregnancy and how you are feeling?

lovechoc · 28/09/2009 19:20

I was off work from around 20 weeks with extreme lethargy and exhaustion so I can understand how you feel at 10 weeks. It's horrid. Wish I'd had an easy pregnancy like so many, but I just wasn't fit to work sadly.

YaNBU.

Original poster
motherbeyond · 28/09/2009 19:39

it wasn't on my lunch hour it was around 3pm..i just literally could not stay awake!it's hideous. the thing is my dh is actually my immediate boss,and am sure there are already raised eyebrows and whispers of nepetism (justified) and so he feels the pressure re my performance at work..i would hate to let him down or embarrass him.we had to tell some of the people working near me,as on the first day i went a very strange colour and had to bolt!everyone is so conscious of swine flu,we had to put them out their misery!
it's also really bloody hard learning a new job when you feel like shit!

OP posts:
curiositykilled · 28/09/2009 19:45

You are entitled to reasonable modifications to your working routine i.e. an extra break in the afternoon, when pregnant. This is to help keep you in work rather than off sick. If you are extremely tired then you would be reasonable to try to sleep at lunch time and ask for an extra break in the afternoons.

Earlybird · 28/09/2009 19:47

How long were you out in the car?

SardineQueen · 28/09/2009 19:51

Oh god that early pregnancy exhaustion is awful, i remember it well. It was worse in my first job which was a long commute and full time. I was desperate with exhaustion most of the time.

Does your employer know you are pg?

I think YANBU as if you were working you would be in a right state anyway and may well make mistakes etc.

I feel for you

lovechoc · 28/09/2009 19:58

I would also say that going off sick is actually better than trying to struggle on. I worked for the first 20 weeks then was off for the last 20 weeks of pregnancy. There no way any modification would have made working easier for me and I'm sure the same can be said for others too, who have suffered extreme lethargy all the way through.

Earlybird · 28/09/2009 20:04

Are you paid by the hour, and if so, did you 'clock out' when you left to go sleep?

Think you must be above reproach with 'taking liberties', especially as your dp is your boss, and there is already chat about 'nepotism' from other staff. He cannot be seen to give you preferential treatment, and you cannot appear to take the mickey - especially as you have only worked there 3 weeks. People might be much more inclined to be tolerant if you were a long time employee. (Disclaimer: this is only my opinion, as I have no idea what protection you might have under employment law.)

Congratulations on your pregnancy, by the way.

Original poster
motherbeyond · 28/09/2009 20:08

i was out for about 40 mins i think.
i wouldn't be entitled to any pay though,having just started..if i went off sick.it's kind of the whole reason i am working now.i have been a sahm for 3 years since my dd and ds were born..now there is a 3rd on the way,dh said i could have some shifts at his place until the baby comes,as we're going to need all the extra cash we can get!!
i hate it though,it would probably be ok if i weren't so poorly.but feel so vulnerable out of my comfort zone,in a strange building,with people i don't know,being sick in horrid office toilets! hate it!!!

OP posts:
CuntWhacker · 28/09/2009 22:32

Work have to provide somewhere for you to rest whilst pregnant. But it might be worth letting them know that you are. Otherwise they will think you've been out clubbing all night.

piprabbit · 28/09/2009 22:36

How else do you think I learnt to nap while sitting on the loo?

Eyeballls · 28/09/2009 22:40

I do this a couple of times a week and I'm not pg! But I have a very wakeful toddler. I set the alarm and go and sleep for an hour in the car on my lunch break. So you are definitely NBU. I remember that tiredness well...

BustleInYourHedgerow · 28/09/2009 23:37

Um....know what it's like feeling so tired and being pregnant believe, but I think YABU. You are getting paid to work there like everybody else.

Original poster
motherbeyond · 29/09/2009 07:51

yes,bustle,but it's soooooooooooo boring!

OP posts:
fifitot · 29/09/2009 20:25

I used to have an expressing break when I returned to work after my DD was born. Thing is I gave up expressing after a while but didn't tell anyone so I could keep the break! I used to lock the door and lie on the floor for half an hour - my DD was a terrible sleeper and I was always knackered.