To expect parents to keep their children relatively quiet in a pizza restaurant...?

[confuseddoiordonti]

I have just got back from a pizza (Planet Pizza in Bristol in case anyone's wondering) and me and DH were driven bonkers by the number of overexcited shrieking childen in there (we got there just before 7pm.)

I am not against children in restaurants, and I realise this is a pizza place rather than the Ivy, but I do object to them charging about and shouting where there are people there with no dc's (like myself.) I realise that some noise is to be expected and I don't have a problem with that, but I do have a problem with the same children running about, shouting and crawling around under tables. Am I being unreasonable by getting a) pissed off and b) wishing they were someplace else so I could eat my pizza in peace...?

Lastly, while I was tempted to go over and ask some of the parents to get their children to keep it down a bit, I did chicken out and hoped they'd realise the kids were too noisey themselves (they didn't.)

(only read OP so far)

YANBU.

Children need to be shown that certaqin behaviour is and isn't acceptable in different environments. And when eating - whether it is in a pizza place, McDonalds or soe posh restuarant - you sit down at the table, you use your cutlery, you speak in non shouty voices, etc.

Even very little children should be learning that.

And if your child is likely to get fidgity - eg at long meal where adults may be chatting,e tc. - take activities with you. A small colouring book, a DSm a small toy. etc. can all stem off any poor behaviour.

We all sit around the dining table for our evening meal every evening. The dds are not allowed to leave the table without asking to be exscused

They do not sit still or quiet at restaurants though. They are too distracted and excited by everything that is going on around them.

Hence the reason we do not eat out much and when do it's generally in places like Wacky Wharehouse or in the summer in places with beer gardens. I would take them for a pizza on the way home from a day trip though without much thought. And I probably would let them crawl under our table.

...in a perfect world

I don't see why it has be be "in a perfect world".

IME it is perfectly possible to go out and not allow children to run about or have them shouting, etc.

Yes in your experience. Aren't you lucky that you have brought your children up so beautifully that they never misbehave in public. I believe I bring my children up properly. We sit down to eat together, we have firm rules in place and they are taught morally and socially what I and my DH believe to be acceptable. Unfortunately sometimes they get over excited, sometimes they are a bit too tired or emotional to listen, sometimes they just misbehave. They is a lot of judgy comments on here and there are a lot of parents out there who don't have 'perfect' children who will feel even worse when they read some of the comments on here.

Perhaps they should never be allowed to bring their children out?

Moontyheloon - I disagree. My child is not perfect no, but yes, she does know to behave in a restaurant as we insist on t. Yes, she can get excited but we remind her. This does not mean I or her are perfect. Just IME it is definitely possible. We have taken DD out to eat in various restaurants since she was a weeks old, and never have problems.

Simialrly we got out with friends and their children and we all do the same.

Of course children get excited and distracted, and can play up. That is what children do. IMO though that is when parents step in and remind them, and if they don't stop then they get taken outside for time out for a minute or so.

But yes, obviously other people are different and it may not work for others.

But for me, I don't like to eat out and have other people's childrens running round and shouting out. If nothing else, the running about can be dangerous when hot food and drinks are being carried.

And yes, I can have an opionion on MY views on this subject, without having to told I am "being all perfect".

If I couldn't control dd's behaviour in public (she is nearly 3)then we wouldn't eat out, simple as that. If she ever acts up in a restaurant (she hardly ever does) I would remove her quick smart as I don't think it's fair on other diners, and to be honest I think it's not that hard to keep a child or two entertained at a table with crayons, stickers etc. Many 2 year olds are capable of sitting down and not making a horrendous racket, so no, YANBU in general.
But why would you go to a pizza restaurant before 7pm, as a grown-up without children? That is sheer madness... before having a child I would have avoided places like that, especially at that time, like the plague!
[Btw what is Wacky Warehouse?]

Hulababy, I don't think anyone likes it to be honest.

I never said you can't have a view did I?

Haha MoonTheLoon my dc have been brought up well imo but are little terrors when eating out, I don't feel bad about it, I take them to appropriate places like I said earlier and if I fancy a quiet meal I get a babysitter and I don't go to family restaurants.

There is no way on earth I could get dd2 to sit quietly while eating out, even with colouring books. There are far too many distractions like shiny lights, other people/children, drinks and cakes on other tables, sachets of sauce, napkins and lots of other wonderfull things.

She is two and therefore behaves like a two year old at home or outside of the home.

I must go now because said two year old is attempting to clean DH's new tv with coffee that she has just knocked over

Two year olds you gottta love 'em

Exactly Shiny.

If someone would like to take my DD out for lunch and show me how to keep her entertained, calm and seated over 2-3 hours - knock yourself out. I have problems keeping her well-behaved in the confines of our own home - and believe me, I DO try.
And as long as we try as hard as we can to bring them up properly, and deal with them as best we can when they misbehave, what else can we do?
Believe me, misbehaving at a restaurant is the least of the problems I have with my fiesty 3yo at the moment!

Shiny - you have hit the nail on the head re. the other children. My DD gets carried away in restaurants when she sees OTHER children running around and getting over-excited!

I don't believe children should be allowed to get off their chair if they are in a restaurant, unless they are arriving/leaving/going to the loo/buffet.

Do these families eat dinner at home while their children run around the room? Is that where they learn it?

It is dangerous and selfish.

We went to Pizza Express in York (the new one not the old one) and they made all the people with children sit upstairs away from the majority of the customers. I won't get back there again. Just because I have children and they want to eat pizza, I should not have to endure other people's self-centred children.

You don't teach your children how to sit at a table for a whole meal by taking them to a family restaurant; you teach them at home. How is that complicated?

Isn't the whole point of pizza type restaurants that you can sit and drink lots of wine while ignoring your kids?

Shiny -- if you know your child won't behave why take them to a place where they ought to be able to behave.

No, hullygully, it is not. In fact I don't think it is ever acceptable to drink lots of wine if you are in the company of your children. Can't you drink after they are in bed or get a babysitter?

I hope you were being sarcastic.

children = copius amts of wine

i thought everyone was in agreement on that

seriously nothing wrong with drinking whilst kids are around - as long as its moderatley

Milly - really? Dear lord, how on earth do you tolerate them without a lovely glass of cab sav, especially in a restaurant. Grim.

mmrsceptic what should she do? Never take them out anywhere where they might upset someone with their noise? This doesn't just apply to restaurants, it's anywhere that other people are present. In any event, you don't always know when your children are going to decide to 'perform'.

they shouldnt be allowed to run around - but messing at the table to a certain extent is - as is loud chatter

accidents to b expected - such as dropping food and spilling drinks

they are children - not mini adults - however by aged 3 they should be able to sit in a seat - and the parent should have enough authority to ensure that.

furthermore - childrenshouldnt be expected to be at a restaurant for over an hour or you are asking for trouble

There are a million places to take children. Plus, am not talking about when things kick up, I'm talking about what the op's talking about ie running around, bothering other people. Though if mine kicked up in a restaurant we'd take the child out. So I wouldn't go anywhere where I'd need to take a child out if it was that predictable, which it sounds like it is for Shiny.

We've all been there with the filthy rotten squawkers, it's just that I think other people have a right to a peaceful private meal.

well no doubt that'll be jumped on as child hater

i meant it lightly .. we've all been there with interesting two year olds shall I say

If you were seeking a peacful private meal would you go to a pizza place aimed at families on a weekend before 7pm - truthfully?

Is v sad

Hully have you started on the wine already??