To expect parents to keep their children relatively quiet in a pizza restaurant...?

[confuseddoiordonti]

I have just got back from a pizza (Planet Pizza in Bristol in case anyone's wondering) and me and DH were driven bonkers by the number of overexcited shrieking childen in there (we got there just before 7pm.)

I am not against children in restaurants, and I realise this is a pizza place rather than the Ivy, but I do object to them charging about and shouting where there are people there with no dc's (like myself.) I realise that some noise is to be expected and I don't have a problem with that, but I do have a problem with the same children running about, shouting and crawling around under tables. Am I being unreasonable by getting a) pissed off and b) wishing they were someplace else so I could eat my pizza in peace...?

Lastly, while I was tempted to go over and ask some of the parents to get their children to keep it down a bit, I did chicken out and hoped they'd realise the kids were too noisey themselves (they didn't.)

It was mostly aimed at other people on this thread

OP, when you say "driven bonkers" I assume you weren't actually so charmed by the LO's behaviour that you immediately went home for a bonk (or baby dance [vomit emoticon]).

When my dc were little I avoided big family type restaurants, because the behaviour of other children encouraged my otherwise docile dds, to become noisy and fretful.

I much preferred to take them out for Sunday lunch somewhere with white tablecloths where the atmosphere awed them, and they behaved much better. In addition, I could refuse to allow them any drink other than water (just it case it did get spilt on the table cloth), and they got lots of positive feedback from old ladies who told them how well behaved they had been.

I think YABU, you may think parents don't care but they usually do (OK there are a few that don't but generally..). The reason they are in those places is because they are usually targetted at families. We went to Pizza Hut last night at 5pm and it was full of children and it was noisy. We specifically asked to be put in a corner place because DS2 is very loud and has a tendency to bang things etc and I didn't want to upset any other diners. DS1 is older and loves pizza hut, I will not keep him home because my 2yo is a bit noisy or wants to get down, I don't take him to nice restaurants to avoid upsetting people without children or who are looking for a nice quiet meal!

I hate this attitude that children should not be allowed to be loud or move off their seat, sometimes sitting still when you are two is bloody hard work!

NellyNoNorks, I don't think Planet Pizza should do that as I personally do not believe the children were being "badly behaved".

I have a friend that works at planet pizza and she has no idea what the OP is referring to; she said it was a typical evening IHO, busy but normal. I'm trying to convinve her to post but she things it's "sad" .

maybe if more parents sat and ate with their children at home, round a table then the children would be brought up knowing how to behave in the first place, I mean wud u let ur sprogs run round screaming at home????

hmentor sweeeeping presumption there. We sit down at the table to eat together most evenings. And if we do chose to eat seperately for a change, one of us always sits and has a snack or something with our DD. So, to say that her 'wild' behaviour is due to lack of role modelling is utter crap. It might apply to some, but you know nothing of those families in that restaurant, their family set up.

calm down dear. all I am saying is that family values seem to have gone to pot.It is a place to eat not an assault course,I am sure that if their child got scolded or whatever thier parents wud sue

Pavlov the singing and whining to get down wouldn't bother me but I don't know about others. I would just remove the knife and fork so she couldn't bang it. I would let her get down and let her run around outside if there is an appropiate area to do so or hold her hand and walk her around the usually quieter bar area again if there is one.

singing and whining wouldn't bother me either, but how did this get to be a discussion about PAVLOVs' children. no one is having a personal slight at her, it was a general Thought

Hmmmm. Have sympathy with the OP, but having recently been tutted at in John Lewis Oxford Street restaurant for my children's presence, I'm tending to think that it all comes down to degrees.

In my case DS1 was playing hide and seek under the chairs (of our table only, I hasten to add) because he was in a foul mood brought on by an absolutely exhausting trip to London, and it was the only way I could get him to eat (one hide = one mouthful). I knew if he didn't eat, he'd become even more difficult as the day went on, and they'd probably find my body floating in the Thames later.

DS2 was squealing at the top of his voice in his highchair out of sheer joy at being alive. He has a VERY loud and high pitched voice which he loves to use. I'm not sure what I'm meant to do about this given that he's only 6 months old, and I'm also busy trying to insert food into DS1.

I am on my own with both these unholy terrors little angels, and only have one pair of hands.

And before anyone says 'don't take them out on your own then, or don't take them out at all', how is one meant to eat when travelling if not out?

Rant over.

You cannot entertain two youngsters all the time on your own (been there struggled with that) but there is nothing wrong with what you describe, sounds rather fun playing hide and seek eating. I found those that tut and roll their eyes tend to be men as women seem to empathise more

Hi. I'm new. I hope you don't mind me sticking my oar in. I have to say, I agree with the OP. I have a 3 year old and often take him to a cafe or restaurant. We ALWAYS take small toys/stickers/crayons for him and he is very well behaved. Its not too early to teach children consideration of others and Pizza places are not for the exclusive use of noisy children. When children are very young and can't help being noisy, most reasonable people understand, but when they are old enough to sit at the table and eat, there's no reason why they should be allowed to treat a public restaurant as their own personal creche.

While we're at it... I went to the park recently with a friend and our DCs (we have five between us). We had a picnic. Mine sat on the rug, ate their picnic, then went off to play. Hers ran round the playground with food in their hands, dropping it and throwing it. She was cross that mine didn't behave like hers, and evidently thought I was an old witch for having trained them like dogs.

When I had lunch at the same friend's house, the children were sitting on the table, lying under the table, sucking ice-cream sauce out of squeezy bottles that were then offered to other people, disappearing from the table for minutes at a time, poking their fingers into other people's food, and generally being frightful. In my opinion.

If that's how children behave at home, why would they be any different in restaurants? (That's very, very different from finding yourself alone in JL restaurant with two over-tired and hungry children, methinks).

Whether YABU or not depends, IMHO, on whether the parents were making ANY attempt to prevent or calm the behaviour.
When my DD was 1 I felt very smug that she was very well behaved in restaurants, when she was 2 I was still feeling quite smug, but now she is 3 - good god its a nightmare!
However, I do at least TRY to do something about it and keep her entertained (always have a bag of crayons!!!!) and we do try to not sit by childless groups if possible.

However, its not always as easy to just go to child-friendly restaurants, at times which suit the DCs. Recently, we went to a posh-ish restaurant at lunchtime for SILs birthday. ILs wanted ALL the family there - including all 6 LOs (between 5mo and 10y). The food took ages, DD (3) was a bit over-excited, and our 5mo was really unsettled and cried a lot. We got really tutted at by a neighbouring table even though we had been wandering around with DS outside the restaurant for the majority of the time he was crying, and we had deliberately sat in a side bit of the restaurant. To my mind that was unreasonable, because we were really TRYING to calm the situation.I would not have CHOSEN to spend my lunchtime that way (would have preferred to smack my head against a brick wall truth be told) but you can't always be in control of every situation - sometimes you have to be flexible and fit in with others.

here here

Hear hear!

That is a very different situation, Hoover. I wouldn't envy anyone that one!

Dh & I do not go to Brewsters/Brewers Fayre type restaurants with the dc because of the play areas. I don't think it encourages your dc to sit at the table, when they know they can get up and down and play. Having said that we did try it once, it was a nightmare, I was scared ds would bang into the serving people and have hot food tipped all over him, the food is usually pretty dire in these places too.

Judging by the astronauts on the menu, I'd say YABU to expect it not to be overrun by screaming kids.

But Nelly, for all we know (altho maybe OP knows different) the parents in the Pizza place didn't want to be there at that particular time - but maybe didn't have a choice? However, it could also be that they are the sort of nightmare parents who also let their kids push those bloody mini-supermarket trolleys into you - but that's a whole other thread !

LOL

Just wanted to say I think some of these places almost actively encourage bad behaviour.

DD went to a pizza party at pizza hut this weekend for a 6 year olds birthday. Apparently restaurant suggests a 2 hour slot. It was absolutely mad, children running around everywhere, noise etc etc. Pizza hut were meant to host the party but basically all waitress did was upsell to all the parents and siblings there. So i think sometimes the restaurants can be at fault for the bad behaviour, too.....

PS I really did try to keep my kids under control, but I really was fighting a losing battle (and didn't feel we should leave until after they brought the cake out - 1 3/4 hous inti the party)

YANBU.

Yes, there will always be some noise from children but there is never any excuse for children to be running around restaurants not least because it's dangerous. I actually avoid going out to eat with certain friends of mine because they allow their children to do exactly this.

It's perfectly reasonable to take children to a restaurant armed with books, colouring or a small toy and expect them to sit down for as long as it takes to eat a pizza.

On the odd occasions my children have behaved like this they've been removed sharpish.

(hmentor don't worry I was not taking it personally, have my DD used as an Example. ).