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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents to keep their children relatively quiet in a pizza restaurant...?

433 replies

confuseddoiordonti · 27/09/2009 21:41

I have just got back from a pizza (Planet Pizza in Bristol in case anyone's wondering) and me and DH were driven bonkers by the number of overexcited shrieking childen in there (we got there just before 7pm.)

I am not against children in restaurants, and I realise this is a pizza place rather than the Ivy, but I do object to them charging about and shouting where there are people there with no dc's (like myself.) I realise that some noise is to be expected and I don't have a problem with that, but I do have a problem with the same children running about, shouting and crawling around under tables. Am I being unreasonable by getting a) pissed off and b) wishing they were someplace else so I could eat my pizza in peace...?

Lastly, while I was tempted to go over and ask some of the parents to get their children to keep it down a bit, I did chicken out and hoped they'd realise the kids were too noisey themselves (they didn't.)

OP posts:
NellyNoNorks · 28/09/2009 17:11

I don't think anyone said that, moon.

I think many of the running-about children probably do behave like adults - or, at any rate, like the kind of adult who thinks that 'you know what you can do' belongs in a debate of any sort.

(Noble and perfect in one day? That's a first for me. )

curiositykilled · 28/09/2009 17:11

NBU to expect the parents to be trying to control the children. Even in a 'family restaurant' or pizza place people should all still be expected to behave well and with consideration for others - children included.

BU to expect the children to either go away or be completely controlled because you didn't have children with you. Not all children can sit down quietly all the time. I'd have been annoyed if the parents were just letting them be naughty but not if the parents were really trying to calm them down IFYSWIM?

mmrsceptic · 28/09/2009 17:13

yes, curiosity i do see exactly what you mean and i think most people do too

v well put nelly

MoonTheLoon · 28/09/2009 17:13

Sorry Nelly are you suggesting that I shouldn't respond how I see fit - but that it is OK for you to? This is not a debate, it is an AIBU thread.

Hully you are right.

MoonTheLoon · 28/09/2009 17:14

mmrsceptic did you not agree with what I said then?

mmrsceptic · 28/09/2009 17:14

it just says something moon, not something you actually articulated, but something else

MoonTheLoon · 28/09/2009 17:15

Really? How interesting. Perhaps it says that you don't know me from Adam but like to sit in judgement?

mmrsceptic · 28/09/2009 17:17

that was to your "you know what you can do"

I agree with some of it but not all -- perhaps you are not suggesting after all that parents should let their children run around in restaurants, in which case i agree with you, but i don't understand why you agree with hully, as i don't agree with her at all

NellyNoNorks · 28/09/2009 17:17

I'm not suggesting that at all, Moon. It's just that 'you know what you can do' isn't an opinion; it's a mode of being. Not a mode of being that is desperately appealing, I'm sorry to say, and not one that I'd like my children to adopt. I don't imagine you'd like yours to adopt it either.

MoonTheLoon · 28/09/2009 17:18

I meant go to another quiet restaurant

mmrsceptic · 28/09/2009 17:18

eh? what are you talking about ? i know you from this thread and I know you said "if you don't like it you know what you can do" and i know that's very aggressive

the rest? i don't even understand what you think on this op any more

alypaly · 28/09/2009 17:19

new restaurant chain ,thriving business.....
named ....Macnaughtykids....all brats welcome.

screaming allowed,tantrums allowed,walking round whilst stuffing face positively
encouraged..and talking with mouth full,shrieking at top volume a must,getting on waitresses nerves permitted at all hours....no responsibility or legal action can be taken for scalds to children with coffee spillages or hot food burns.Parents take full responsibility.

Well done to those who keep children well behaved,its hard work but its worth it.

MoonTheLoon · 28/09/2009 17:21

Seriously you are being wierd now.

MoonTheLoon · 28/09/2009 17:21

weird even

WebDude · 28/09/2009 17:29

lol - "lost the will to live" - or given up the fight, to defend a claim that something so selfish is 'right' ?

Maybe HG was just being a troll - difficult to think that "I don't think it's dangerous, annoying, rude, inconsiderate or selfish." was really what was felt. If it was, I'm just speechless.

Maybe HG wants to be quoted in the Daily Mail

MilaMae · 28/09/2009 17:40

I agree with the op I think when people pay good money to eat out they should get to eat in peace.

I have 3 children under 6 they are NOT angels in restaurants/cafes by any stretch of the imagination but there is no way they would ever be allowed to run around or make lots of noise.

I take things to keep my kids quiet. When they make a noise which they do they are warned then frogmarched out.

Yes it's a pain and doesn't exactly lend itself to a relaxed meal but if parents can't be bothered to ensure their kids don't ruin other people's meals they shouldn't take them out at all. To just let kids run riot is rude,selfish and totally inconsiderate.

We took my 3-lively twin boys 5 and very lively dd 4 out in France several times in the summer. We had sit down 3 course dinners in a hotel twice after 8 hour drives. I took things to keep them quiet for a while then I frogmarched. They got the message eventually.

We'd have been thrown out if I didn't ensure everybody else in the restaurant could enjoy their meal in peace, I don't think the French would tolerate behaviour such as the op mentioned which is probably why French kids are perfectly capable of eating out without ruining things for everybody else. If I could ensure that my 3 didn't ruin everybody else's meal then I'm pretty sure most other parents could do so too.

As I said before my dc are no angels in restaurants(my parents having dined out with us several times would most certainly agree) but I refuse to take the lazyarse,stuff everybody else stance that others seem to.

One day I'm presuming/hoping I will get to eat a meal out in peace as the dc will learn bad behaviour in restaurants aint ever going to happen, then I'm going to give myself a very brief well deserved moment of smugdom.

mmrsceptic · 28/09/2009 17:41

excellent post mila

alypaly · 28/09/2009 17:43

here here

sarah293 · 28/09/2009 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MilaMae · 28/09/2009 17:59

I should add we did this when we had 3 under 2, then when we had 3 under 3 and 3 under 4.

Boxes of raisins,tiny books,stickle bricks will keep 2 year olds quiet for quite a long time, then you take them for a walk away from other diners when they get too restless. Then when they're older you frogmarch.

2 adult pair of hands, 3 toddlers-we managed to ensure others got to eat in peace, there really is no excuse to say it's impossible.

As I said before my dc are no angels- I have twin boys

NellyNoNorks · 28/09/2009 18:13

I MilaMae!

ShinyAndNew · 28/09/2009 18:15

mmrsceptic I don't take my child(ren) into places they are expected to behave, like I said earlier I take them to appropriate places such as Wacky Warehouse or beer gardens because I know that dd2 struggles to sit still.

She is taught to sit still at the table at home, but as I also said earlier, with all the distractions in public places she struggles to do so.

I am not saying that I allow my children to run riot through any food place but I do not judge others who have noisy over excited children at restaurants because I know how difficult it is to keep them occupied when they are sat waiting for their meal.

Mine are not allowed to run around but are allowed to play under/near our table i.e. with a doll or teddy if it keeps them quiet and occupied while we are waiting for our meal. And dd2 does often chant 'cake and ishcream, cake and ishcream' quite loudly and there isn't much I can do stop her, bar gagging her that is

Miggsie · 28/09/2009 18:21

The thing that pisses me off is when parents come and sit on one table and put their kids on another then their kids act like gits andthe parents do nothing...this happened to us. The kids were next to us and the parents were the other side of the restaurant.
In the end DH told the kid sto pack it in, this annoyed the parent who scame over and told DH not to tell his kids off...so DH says, if you think your kids are great why are you sitting ont he other side of the restaurant?

In the end we got money off the bill for having our meal ruined by the kids.

alypaly · 28/09/2009 18:29

rule no 1...dont give babies hard toys that they can bang on high chair tables,or loud rattles,or cutlery.

rule 2.......... if they cant sit still, read them the riot act, before you go in the restaurant, then frog march out (like milamae says)if they dont stick to the deal

rule 3...... absolutely no treats if behaviour is bad.But dont use treats as bribes for good behaviour. Get the good behaviour to come naturally.

rule 4Carry out the promises and the rules, otherwise they will always be broken.
Involve them in the conversation...rather than ignoring,then they feel part of the group and dont demand attention at others expense

Hulababy · 28/09/2009 18:34

TBH I think the introduction of places like Wacky Warehouse has made this kind of behaviour seem more acceptable. They positively encourage children to keep getting up and down, and running between tables to go and play, even if half way through a meal. I am nt sure they are a great idea. TBF though I do avoid them as much as I can!

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