to lie blatantly re DD's abilities to this stupid woman???

[lal123]

DD was at swimming lesson today. I was standing outside with another Mum, watching through big window.

Anyway - started chatting with other mum and she started talking about how in the village we both live in its about "how much money you have and who you know", and as an example told me that at her DSs school she was now known as "the woman who lives in the big house", she went on and on about her big car, and her big drive, and paying £200 for cricket stuff for DSs, etc etc. Then started going on about her youngest DS (who was out with us) who has just started P1 about how well he was doing - that he's already able to read about 5 words. Then she turns to DS and says "you must always come 1st 2nd or 3rd or we'll not be friends becasue you won't get a job"

Anyway - I was getting pretty pi$$ed off with her so told her that DD was reading before she started school too - and that it wasn't really unusual these days. A pretty poor attempt at a boast - but made me feel a bit better.

Just a rant I suppose more than an AIBU!!!

I'd just pity her and her obvious insecurities. And try to avoid her from now on.

true true wombat - pretty difficult to avoid her though. Was just sooooooo tempted to say "shut up you stupid woman, do you really think I care????"

Does she have any friends?

Dreadful. I bet she is known as the woman with the big mouth and the big chip on her shoulder rather than the woman in the big house.

I really worry that one day I will say what I am thinking to one of the mums at school . 'Stop quacking on your bloody dull life you egocentric bore' being one of the things I fear saying!

She probably lives in a studio flat with damp and gets the bus.

WHO talks like that?

Don't know if she has any friends - only ever see her at swimming - where she's generally shouting through the window at her DS2. Her DS2 doesn't enjoy the lessons, and was crying today. She explained to me that he hadn't wanted to come, but that once her children started something she made sure they stuck at it. She looked at me as if I was mad when I said that DD only has to go to things if she enjoys them.

Pink - wonder if you'd get a cheer from all the other mums who are thinking the same???

Che - think she is pretty well off - DP nad I were trying to work out who she is - think her DP owns a local Indian restaurant.

To boastful people, say with studied neutrality, "You must be very proud" - they never know quite how that's meant.

Then find out more! They are always very entertaining in a way they never intend

but heated - I already know far more about this woman than I ever need to!! I do like the "you must be very proud" line - might try it next week!

Worried me that she's turning me into a competitive mum - I almost cheered when her DS didn't manage to pick up the ring thing off the bottom of the pool after rest of class had managed it.

UANBU what an annoying woman, fancy talking like that to someone you dont know very well, well anyone at all.

You have to say, in a concerned voice... "Oh, that would worry me a bit...."

then refuse to elaborate.

I'd have laughed patronisinglyincredulously and said "Wow, what strange priorities!"

How about mentally scoring the next conversation and reporting her score next week?

-1 point for boasting about ds' prowess

-2 points for betraying her nouveau riche orgins by mentioning the cost of her house/kitchen/car etc

-3 points for every derogatory comment about another parent or child

-4 points if she ever admits to not being perfect at something

I hate mums like that, they demonstrate what not to do as a parent and i hope that i am never like that.

Why dont you say something like 'oh thats nice, of course we prefer to tithe 25% of our income to charity, so important to help others less fortunate than ourselves dont you think?'

She will probably rush off and set up some sort of charitable fund - people like her are competitive about everything.

Or if you are feeling really brave you could put on your best Joyce Grenfell voice and say 'I always think its terribly vulgar to discuss money dont you? - Cup of tea dear?' and walk canteenward - bet she wont be there when you get back.

I think a vague smile, no answer and allow your gaze to drift gently to something else. Then when she finishes talking, change the subject to something as different as you can manage.

That should do it.

Her poor kids, though.

yanbu, definitely. how painful.

every time you need to say: yes dd does that. yes she does that too. yes, that's our second car. until eventually you say, yes, we've got lots of money too. don't even bother to hide the fact that you're lying.

Lal23 - love the 'you must be very proud' suggestion. I can see that will be very handy this week.

I know it's not the mature option, but I like Chegirl's suggestion of labelling her as vulgar - perhaps whispering something along the lines of "heavens, we don't talk about money - it's so grubby, don't you think?"

But in reality, I agree with the sensible option of the 'proud' comment.

I'd personally give anyone like that a wide swerve. They're obviously insecure and have got issues to need to boast all the time. Also I find them very tiring as you spend the whole time trying to be interested in when youre not in an attempt not to be rude. Take a ipod/newspaper/book next time you go to avoid chat.

Hmm I know a few like that.Does she spend hours in the gym trying to keep in shape to hang on to her rich husband , by any chance?