to think if you have explosive diarrhoea......

[ThePhantomPlopper]

In somebodies downstairs toilet and you pebble dash the seat, the rim AND the cistern you should either bloody well clean it up or say to your guest "I'm ever so sorry, but I seem to have shat half of the River Nile around your bathroom, I'm now a bit weak, would you mind cleaning it?"

It was not a pleasant experience walking into that this morning and it had been there since yesterday P.M (she was the only one to use that toilet) so it's stuck fast.

And yes I know I should be more sympathetic to people with diarrhoea but a warning would have been nice!!

with the clean up bit included

Am sure it was poo, I would have heard her vom and she knows I'm not good with puke, she would have warned me to leave the house.

I have to say, we have a guest flat which is regularly used by drunks musicians and we purposely designed the room to be a wet room so in the event of a really bad mess we can just get out a power washer and turn it on!

Ds is 6 and sprayed wee everywhere in our neighbours toilet - even on the ceiling. I think he had a high pressure moment.

He came out and told us his clothes were wet - but he hadn't noticed everything else.

I cleaned up everything - had to ask for step stool for the ceiling and then ran home to get clothes for ds to change into.

wmmc, tears in my eyes, lmao!!

I even hate going to the loo at work after someone else has made a stink in it - just in case the next person thinks I made the smell (iyswim)!

I can't imagine how anyone could leave a loo in that state OP - you poor poor thing!

On the ceiling?

At least you don't have a hot tub

are there any threads about DCs shitting in swimming pools?

oh dear, that is rank! I have IBS but would never leave a loo in that state. My DD1 managed to block the loo at friends house last week, as she used too much paper, that was bad enough!!

LOL @son peeing on ceiling

Laugh? I nearly shat...

I suppose she could have got it up the cistern if it had exploded before she actually sat down - however, I canNOT believe she wouldn't make some attempt to clean it up!

I used to have a bit of a problem with drink/hangovers - and have vommed in many loos in my time, and have ALWAYS cleaned up after myself. I would be WAAAAAAAY too mortified to leave it for someone else to do!

Does sound a tad reminiscent of Daddy Day Care though - are you sure you're not on a wind-up? (it being Friday night an' all...)

that is truelly foul PP WMMC i almost weed a bit laughing at the second one
i need one of those signs as my best mate often comes to my house and ALWAYS does a poo in my loo- at least once or twice a night in our bathroom if off our kitchen and she leaves the door open post-poo and the smell is the rankest of rank!! it is a standing joke between us now that i say 'have you had a nice poo?' as does she whenever i go it is more often than not a resounding YES from her[eww]

ROFL!

Tell me it's not an old-fashioned overhead cistern...

I once worked with someone who was - as well as being bone idle - terrible for spending all day in the loo.

I still remember the time she managed to necessitate two members of staff (including the bank manager) working in tandem to shift a blockage that had flooded the ladies, using only the tools to hand: A wire coat hanger and a Tesco [again???!] carrier bag.

This bag of effluent, was then dashed out (suspended from the hanger) through the fire exit.

I don't know what happened next as I was doubled over, almost literally peeing myself laughing

OMG that poor girl in that video

Ew people are gross. No excuse not to wipe it off with loo roll! If that happened to me and there was no loo roll for example I would immediately go to the person whose house it was, ask for cleaning supplies and ask them not to go in til I was done. Embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as leaving it.

I used to work with a guy who did this, and the loo was in the kiosk and also used as a cloakroom, and no ventilation. It was awful having the smell of poo drift out to the customers. Once I had to use the cardboard from a loo roll to prise his shit off the side of the bowl where it was stuck as the flush wasn't budging it.

I also put my hand in menstrual blood when a girl got up from a chair. Nice.

My lovely outlaws apparently do not notice the poo they have left on the rim of the toilet seat, wall behind the loo roll holder and on the flush handle. It is hardened on and I cannot bring myself to scrape it off when we visit. DDs have very stict instructions to wash hands in hot water and soap and if poss I supervise them.
Ick!

Are you sure you can't blame it on the cat?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK8Ykxn-XAc

I have serious ishoos with having to sit on a toilet seat which is still warm from the previous occupant's bum cheeks - Euk! Makes me go all shivery just thinking about it!!

Personally (as someone who takes meds that as a side effect makes me rush to the loo) I would have cleaned it before I left the toilet.
It is quite rude to leave it for you to do.

Thumb - Nope not a wind up, I just seem to be surrounded by rather gross people.

Would love to blame it on the cat, but she's on a dry food diet so her poo is like pebbles.

Some of these stories are hilarious.

I'm crying with laughter at the Tesco bags.

Just read it out to DH who said that Waitrose would have been classier.

SandT that is one clever cat