to think if you have explosive diarrhoea......

[ThePhantomPlopper]

In somebodies downstairs toilet and you pebble dash the seat, the rim AND the cistern you should either bloody well clean it up or say to your guest "I'm ever so sorry, but I seem to have shat half of the River Nile around your bathroom, I'm now a bit weak, would you mind cleaning it?"

It was not a pleasant experience walking into that this morning and it had been there since yesterday P.M (she was the only one to use that toilet) so it's stuck fast.

And yes I know I should be more sympathetic to people with diarrhoea but a warning would have been nice!!

I had a houseguest who had ahem intestinal issues and decided thoughtfully to use two full loo rolls to clear up. He eventually emerged twenty minutes later (complete with fug of poo wafting out) to report that we needed to call a plumber because the loo didn't flush. Yours truly then spent two hours declogging the loo (and just a tip: Marigolds are not long enough for this job ) and to top it off when I emerged, he and DH announced they were off to get a takeaway curry because they were starving

Right that's it nobody is shitting in my toilet again. whomovedmychoc that's disgusting, and I'm not risking it happening to me. No. That's it. No

Oh that's gross WMMC. What is wrong with some people!

When I got married, we had about 15 sailors sleeping around our house, the best man had oysters the night before the wedding and got the runs, he blocked the toilet with baby wipes (loo roll hurt his bottom apparently), plumber was supposed to arrive the next day, on the morning of my wedding I walked into the bathroom to see TWO sailors crouched over my bath shitting into Tesco carrier bags!

OMG! WHY did I come back and read this?!

ThePhantomPlopper - sorry but you just made me almost SMSL

Just a tip though - an Imodium tablet dissolves quite quickly in hot tea and does not taste if you have sugar in it.

And I almost spewed puke up the cistern.

My ex flatmate did this - I nearly spewed. I moved out not long after as it was one of a whole list of things. I seriously this some people are just vile

I shall remember the imodium tip, I seem to attract people with poo issues, my DH was the shitting elf if you remember that thread(have name changed since).

Every time I think of you now PP, it will be with two sailors shitting into carrier bags to the tune of Captain Pugwash

Woo hoo I have a theme tune

I remember a nice note in a toilet once...

'If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe up the seatie'

Its now up in my loo, to make benefit my DH

'I don't mind if you sit like a thinker. But open the window if you land a stinker!' is better though

the phantom plopper ,rofl@ tesco bags

OMG WMMC thats not nice, at least he informed you, and to have a curry too i hoped that he had a mild one lol.

Or: 'shitty smears, bring me to tears. If you want me to be your fan, remove your faeces from the pan'

ROTFL, WMMC!

for me thats got to be the line of the week SHITTING IN TESCO BAGS,could of been worse

Oh how I love you Tesco, your bags so white and blue
They may not suit potatos, but gosh they hold big poos!

whats wmmc mean

Ewwwww Phantomplopper thats disgusting two sailors shitting in bags, that image will haunt me for evermore . It should be whomovedmychoc i dont mind if you sit like a thinker, but open the window and clean up if you land a stinker.

Phantom mabey you should have that kinda sign made in your loo, tis an idea so it should not happen again

Are you sure it was poo, and not vomit?

I'm going to write the second one in her Christmas card WMMC

wmmc is whomovedmychocoate(username of a fello mumsnetter)