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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

... to think this parent is being a bit prescious, and this school a bit weak?

139 replies

mw14 · 23/09/2009 14:38

Speaking to a friend yesterday, I began to think I've turned into an old git, but on consideration I'm convinced I'm right. My friend has a daughter who is 13. For the first two indoor PE lessons of the term, she claims she forgot her trainers, and as a result, her teacher allowed her to sit out the lesson. The school were displeased though, and emailed my friend to alert her and ask for her support in ensuring she had her full kit. The girl got a talking to from her mother, but then, yesterday, her mother received a phone call from the school.

Apparently, she'd yet again claimed to have forgotten or lost her trainers, clearly expecting to once again sit on the sidelines. However, this time the teacher did the right thing, and ordered her to get changed into her PE kit and to do the lesson in bare feet. For some reason, this upset her, and she's since had the audacity to complain to her mother about it being "unfair" and "horrible".

I don't want to sound like a miserable old sod, but it's almost unbelievable on several levels. Firstly, that the school accepts "I have no trainers" as an excuse. Secondly, that my friend, like so many parents, has not got a proper grip of her daughter, and thirdly that she saw doing PE in bare feet as such a bad thing! AIBU?

OP posts:

AvrilH · 23/09/2009 14:40

YANBU

AstronomyDomine · 23/09/2009 14:40

Nope, not at all.

Original poster

mw14 · 23/09/2009 14:42

Apologies for my spelling...

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 23/09/2009 14:42

I don't think the school is weak though.

ILoveStripeySocks · 23/09/2009 14:42

YANBU

but teens think everything is unfair and horrible!

HecatesTwopenceworth · 23/09/2009 14:43

Nope.

But the reason why the child is so worried about doing pe needs to be explored. Any idea what the problem could be?

stealthsquiggle · 23/09/2009 14:43

YANBU in thinking that the school is weak but in what way is parent being precious? Is she supporting her DD in this feeble attempt to evade PE?

roneef · 23/09/2009 14:43

What did the school do?

MorrisZapp · 23/09/2009 14:44

YABU

PE is ritual humiliation to many kids. I hated it, skived it, and my mum let me.

What is to be gained by forcing kids to run around in front of each other in ill fitting 'sportswear' when they don't want to.

I pay a good whack of my salary now to belong to a gym, and I love going to classes. Because it is my choice, and because it takes place in a pleasant, indoor, clean and non-smelly environment.

If you think kid's PE is such a good thing, try it for yourself. I'd rather poke my eyes out on sticks.

MissAnnesley · 23/09/2009 14:44

I would find it hard to get worked up about something like this even if it was my own child!

Pretends to have forgotten trainers, doesn't want to do PE etc - pretty normal in 13yo.

Makes do indoor PE in bare feet - not too shocking.

Have to say YABU unless I've missed something.

overmydeadbody · 23/09/2009 14:44

YANBU

But I don;t think the school are being weak or that the parent is being precious unless they are siding with the daughter?

Original poster

mw14 · 23/09/2009 14:46

Sorry, I should have explained that my friend seemed to feel that the school were being a bit nasty this week! She also didn't seem particularly bothered that her daughter was not taking the correct equipment, despite warnings the previous week.

Mt problem with the school is that they allowed the girl to sit out for 2 weeks in a row, rather than dealing with her straight away and having her in the lesson in lost property trainers or her bare feet.

OP posts:

5inthebed · 23/09/2009 14:46

It depends why her daughter wants to get out of doing PE. I used to do anything I could to get out of PE as couldn't face having to team up with the bitches girls who bullied me, and having to share a locker room with them was even worse as no teachers were around.

TrillianAstra · 23/09/2009 14:46

Unless you tell us what the parent is doing we can't tell if she is being precious. Is the parent planning on complaining to the school or something?

PE is crap and horrible, but it is a part of the curriculum, so if a 13 year old "forgets" her trainers twice then making her do it in bare feet is a fair response.

overmydeadbody · 23/09/2009 14:47

Hecate she's 13, most likely reason is she's lazy.

When I was at school we used to hide in our wardrobes (boarding school) to avoid PE lessons, because, given a choice, we'd rather not do it.

OrmIrian · 23/09/2009 14:47

What else could the school do. It isn't ideal to do PE in bare feet so they didn't force her to do it - but they did alert the parent to the issue. Once it became clear she was taking the piss they 'punished' her, or rather made her face the consequences of her actions'.

MissAnnesley · 23/09/2009 14:48

Lost property trainers yuck now YABvvvvU I'd rather saw my own toes off.

tvaerialmagpiebin · 23/09/2009 14:49

Schools are damned if they do and damned if they don't, aren't they?

I think the mother needs to find out exactly what is bothering the girl about PE. Everyone hates school PE. But as TrillianAstra says, everyone has to do it.

Original poster

mw14 · 23/09/2009 14:50

My take is that the school were weak in the first two weeks, and should have made her do the lesson anyway. The mother (my friend!) is being precious in agreeing with ter daughter that the school were in the wrong this last week, when she had to do it in bare feet.

OP posts:

anniemac · 23/09/2009 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tvaerialmagpiebin · 23/09/2009 14:53

I expect the school were watching their back, not wanting to be accused of denying her human rights or inflicting cruel and unusual punishment of wearing someone else's trainers

stealthsquiggle · 23/09/2009 14:53

If the parent reacted to the child with anything other than 'serves you right. You had plenty of warnings - remember your trainers next time' then she is setting herself up for nightmare problems to come, IMHO.

evaangel2 · 23/09/2009 14:54

I think you have to consider it as a whole really

a one off "Oh I forgot my trainers" is ok and for them to sit on the sidelines as a one off but if it continues the school should act on this, the school have to do that for all school children, there has to be rules and boundaries
PE is a compulsary subject

Ds used to leave his rugby kit at home on purpose, the school always phoned me to see if I could bring it up
YANBU

Original poster

mw14 · 23/09/2009 14:55

Miss Annesley, I thought that some girls amy prefer lost property trainers to having bare feet. But I wouldn't have been keen when I was at school!

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 23/09/2009 14:57

The stock excuse at my school was 'I've got my period Miss X'. Amazing menstrual cycles some of the pupils at my school had

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