Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that some parents are just lazy and inconsiderate?

246 replies

LentilsRMe · 21/09/2009 21:34

We went for tea yesterday at Wagamamas.

There was a family behind us, including 2 children - about 2 and 4 maybe.

I looked round after they had left and under the table they had left food, crayons, paper and two empty juice cartons.

I was a bit that they just left without even picking this all up off the floor.

Surely I am NBU?

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 22/09/2009 21:43

If we are to return to the OP, how can we possibly tell whether those parents were being lazy and inconsiderate? It was one instance, we have no other information at all apart from posters... there could be any amount of reasons why the parents scarpered leaving a mess...none of them to do with being lazy and inconsiderate.

Off the top of my head I can think, ooh, got to pick child up from school/child with sn/fight with dh/tantrum in offing...and a myriad of other reasons.

All I have tried to do is to point out that from my point of view I would prefer them to scarper rather than sanctimoniously clear up in an ineffectual and health hazardous manner.

And to not be so judgemental. Shit happens.

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2009 21:46

Doggus, if they are thanking you for doing their job, then that;s a problem. It is lovely of you to try and clear up. But they have to do it again anyway. And if they didn't I would sack them.

nappyaddict · 22/09/2009 22:14

I am a waitress too and it mightily pisses me off when people leave crayons strewn all over the floor and table. I often find paper, crayons, glasses, bottles, cutlery, napkins, salt and peppar cellars, menus, sauce bottles, straws, juice cartons all over the floor and I do think it is rude of people. I would never expect anyone to clear up food debris though.

bibbitybobbityhat are you honestly saying you wouldn't pick up any of those things if your DC dropped them on the floor?

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2009 22:18

Nappy, I am surprised really, surely its just part of the job? It not big deal, after all the actually clean it all up. And as a parent, I have even more sympathy than I did before about the possible reasons for mad mess.

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2009 22:22

I mean, I know it would be nicer if folk didn't make a mess, but they just do! And if the place provides the crayons etc then they only have themselves to blame!

And again, I do think parents should try and instill good manners, and restaurant manners in their children, but the two in the OP were very very young.

MoonlightMcKenzie · 22/09/2009 22:25

Not only do I pick food up off the floor, but I give it back to my DCs to eat. I PAID for it!

scottishmummy · 22/09/2009 22:27

LOL you should take it home and serve reheated for tea.

that will teach em to drop food, manky grubbers

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2009 22:31

Now, Moonlight, if only you had been here earlier! A voice of reason finally!

scottishmummy · 22/09/2009 22:33

thought that was me?

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2009 22:38

..you are of course the original voice of reason....it was meant to be an ironic counterpoint....

scottishmummy · 22/09/2009 22:40

you're very free and easy with your "voice of reason"

hide that damn cheese or you'll get it back for tea.

anyhoo what kind of gaff do you run. we do caffs a lot and in regular the owner gives us freebies talks to us.we are messy but good tippers

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2009 22:51

the best kind of caff in my experience.

I have worked in all sorts of caff/restaurants/fast food joints and am currently setting up another venture. Hence being hairline deep in H&S guff. So ladies, while not currently practicing anything other than my ability to absorb thousands of pages of H&S regs(as an owner this time, not an employee) and tiling and plastering and painting and and and....I have many many years experience as the lowest of the low, from dishwasher to coffee girl, waitress to manager. And in Paris too. You haven't beentortured lived until you have worked in Parisian restaurants...

And just to point out, their is no wall large enough to put up all the health and safety regs out there...

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2009 22:53

I mean, there, not their. Gah! blame the paintstripper!

AngryFromManchester · 22/09/2009 22:55

parisian cafes always have stale bread

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2009 22:57

Blame me, Angry, Blame me. The hours I tried to spend cowering in coat closets clutching bread baskets to my bosom...'tis all my fault.

My excuse? You ever been screamed at by a Parisien Maitre D' ? Eek!

Hence the stale bread.

Original poster
LentilsRMe · 22/09/2009 23:52

Woah. I made 'discussions of the day'.

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 23/09/2009 00:03
MadameDefarge · 23/09/2009 00:08

hey, you may laugh, but I started in a French version of McDs, right next to St Lazare, where the pimps would come and scream at us for serving the girls without their 'permission'

MrsMerryHenry · 23/09/2009 00:09

Am I the only one who thinks it's equally bad-mannered to leave a train, etc having eaten/ drunk and left your drinks cartons on the table for your fellow passengers to deal with?

Judging by the tone of this thread, I think not. I want to slap people when they say 'well, it gives someone a job to do'. Nobody in this day and age is actually paid to be an arse-wiper, AFAIK, so why should people not take responsibility for their own crap?

MadameDefarge · 23/09/2009 00:10

No, indeed MrsMerry, I agree about the train thing.

monkeypinkmonkey · 23/09/2009 07:53

This is the social norm in restaurants, where are you dining?
When parents dine with children every restaurant expects a cerain amount of mess however I have in my time cleaned up urine from a lad whose parents didn't actually care to tell us he had done it under the table, a toddler who vommited in a bowl and again not told! But hey they had paid paid for their food so I suppose that gives them the right!
For me it's more the parents who allow their children to decorate the table and surronding areas with food.

RamblingRosa · 23/09/2009 08:12

YANBU

I always do a cursory clean up after eating out with DD. I pick up mess left on the floor, whether it's crayons, sachets or sugar, or big chunks of food. I use paper napkins to clean up the worst of the mess.

I'm getting the impression from this thread (and from seeing what other people do in restaurants and cafes) that I'm in the minority though!

NormaSknockers · 23/09/2009 08:23

OP - YANBU.

I always clear up under the table & give the table/chairs/highchair a wipe before I leave anywhere, also done this in McDonalds (often leaving it cleaner then when I went in) I just can't help myself, my DC made the mess so I feel I should clear it up, that's just me though (Probably stems from when I was a waitress & had to clean some really awful things)!

ilovemydogandmrobama · 23/09/2009 08:48

There's a local Indian thali we go to all the time, and DS tends to throw the stuff around (dhal, rice etc). They are gracious enough to think it's cute that he's enjoying his food, and I'm happy enough to clean up the worst of the mess.

when we go out, will ask DD (3) to pick up her own crayons, napkins etc. I don't like her getting the idea that it's OK to leave a mess and for someone else to clean it up.

BradfordMum · 23/09/2009 08:49

Yanbu, babies make a mess, 2 and 4 yr olds are old enough to eat nicely and NOT let food go on the floor.

Mum for 24 yrs and childminder for 15, so Ive seen plenty of messy meals!