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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that some parents are just lazy and inconsiderate?

246 replies

LentilsRMe · 21/09/2009 21:34

We went for tea yesterday at Wagamamas.

There was a family behind us, including 2 children - about 2 and 4 maybe.

I looked round after they had left and under the table they had left food, crayons, paper and two empty juice cartons.

I was a bit that they just left without even picking this all up off the floor.

Surely I am NBU?

OP posts:
beaniesinthebucketagain · 21/09/2009 22:12

i always pick up any thing like cutlery napkins etc, but a 10mnth old that's BLW makes a mess it can only be avoided so much, and so does an excited 2yr old, i do try, but ive been told off in restaurants for trying to tidy after the kids, and after all they aren't doing it deliberately and im paying to eat there and in family restaurants they expect some mess, so im possibly one of the lazy mums your talking about

oneopinionatedmother · 21/09/2009 22:13

YANBU - though there is some mess that's hard tp get up withut the right kit.

curiositykilled · 21/09/2009 22:17

They probably should have picked up after themselves a bit but they might just have forgotten! What kind of weirdo are you to go around looking under other people's tables in a restaurant? Sounds like you were just trying to find a reason to be annoyed at them tbh.

Original poster
LentilsRMe · 21/09/2009 22:21

I don't think I am a weirdo (well maybe a bit .

They were on the bench seats directly over my right shoulder, I glanced round and it caught my eye. I had not really noticed them other than clocking 2+2 as we sat down...

OP posts:
curiositykilled · 21/09/2009 22:25

lentilsrme - lol - a looking under other people's tables weirdo! I think you are. That's OK, s'pose, I am a weirdo in almost every other way!

inveteratenamechanger · 21/09/2009 22:27

I always try to clear up after DD (18 months). The one thing I dislike about going out with a toddler is the amount of mess they create. I feel mortified enough without leaving it all for the waitress to clear up. Always try to give the high chair a wipe too.

That said, the only time I brought her to Wagamama, she slept in her buggy through the whole meal. Bliss.

MadameDefarge · 21/09/2009 22:30

Personally I would rather the rubbish stayed on the floor to get swept up rather than transfering dirt from the floor to the table. Every restaurant I have worked has been fine about mess and kids. Its part of the deal. Not that they should be encouraged to chuck stuff on the floor, but it happens.

pigletmania · 22/09/2009 09:56

I would personally clear up as much as i can, like the cartons and crayons but leave the rest to the staff thats what they are paid to do. The difference between there and home is that if you dont pick them up nobody else will, you have no choice. Of course if you have older children than one would expect them not to make mess and for them to clear it up, but when dd was a young baby and we eat out she would drop stuff on the floor, of course she is too young to understand so i would clear up as much as poss and the staff have the equipment to clear up any food or spilliages. Do i need to carry my own mop and bucket and cleaning equipment when i go out, thats what you pay staff to do.

sarah293 · 22/09/2009 09:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

seeker · 22/09/2009 10:01

I would have made the children pick up stuff like juice cartons (Wagamamas doesn't sell juice in cartons so they must have brought them in with them, which seems somehow even worse!) and the crayons and paper and stuff like that. Probably wouldn't have picked up the food, but would have apologized if there was a particularly unpleasant mess and tipped accordingly.

I can't bear the "Well, that's what they are paid for" attitude. It's an awful message to give children.

Tinkerisdead · 22/09/2009 10:08

I have a 10 month old BLW and I always always clean up anything dropped under the highchair, food or otherwise.

I dont consider it the job of staff to clean up the mess my child creates when eating, I think its their job to serve me the food. I'd be mortified if I left knowing that someones day was made harder by having to clear up all the crap left behind me. I pick it all up into a nappy bag and give it to the staff as rubbish.

alfiesmadmother · 22/09/2009 10:11

Of course you are not being unreasonable! Wether we are paying a lot a little or not at all shouldn't we all teach our children basic manners and respect for peoples things?? I wouldn't get out my dustpan and brush but would wipe the highchair, pile plates up and put everything togethr , and definitely pick rubbish up off the floor! Just basic respect.

seeker · 22/09/2009 10:13

I would have made the children pick up stuff like juice cartons (Wagamamas doesn't sell juice in cartons so they must have brought them in with them, which seems somehow even worse!) and the crayons and paper and stuff like that. Probably wouldn't have picked up the food, but would have apologized if there was a particularly unpleasant mess and tipped accordingly.

I can't bear the "Well, that's what they are paid for" attitude. It's an awful message to give children.

traceybath · 22/09/2009 10:18

But surely the waiting staff just get out a brush and sweep up all the mess of the floor in one go - thats what i do at home.

I certainly don't stack plates in a restuarant - i don't think thats polite really.

I would just try and leave our table reasonably tidy but afraid i would not be picking noodles up off the floor - I'd leave that to someone with a brush.

And I always tip well

gorionine · 22/09/2009 10:25

YANBU, a bit of dropped food is ineitable but "brought in mess" definitely not on!

Morloth · 22/09/2009 10:25

Tips are your friend here. We used to sometimes leave a mess, but my tip was always directly proportional to the mess.

TheLadyEvenstar · 22/09/2009 10:44

I always pick up after ds2 because he has no table manners at all!! well he does but they are on par for a 2 yr old.

TwentiethCenturyHeffa · 22/09/2009 10:47

YANBU. I always clean up stuff that's fallen on the floor when we take DD out to eat. When I was a waitress I hated cleaning the floor after children and I'd feel awful leaving it to someone else. I don't clean the table or anything though, since that would have to be done anyway (even if just adults were eating).

OtterInaSkoda · 22/09/2009 10:51

YANBU! I know once or twice we left a little more mess than I'd have liked but I made a point of apologising (wailing child, had to make a sharp exit).

Once the chefs had spent their break putting their garnishing/patisserie skills to good use building an elaborate and truly splendid snowman in the courtyard. Two hours later a delightful pair of diners laughed indulgently between mouthfuls of terrine as they watched their two under-10s kicked it to pieces. I don?t know why but that really upset me. I think I may have been in the early stages of pregnancy, and a little hormonal. I?d have just been these days.

Slightly OT but still on the subjecy of mess in restaurants, I once saw a grown woman throw up into a napkin and then pass -said-- napkin to one of my colleagues, without so much as making eye contact with her. this was a pretty high end place, too (not that that makes any difference).

OtterInaSkoda · 22/09/2009 10:53

That didn't make sense, sorry. I meant the chefs at the restaurant I worked at.

Stephief · 22/09/2009 10:53

Hi,

When eating out I make sure I clean up clean mess, if that makes sense. Big bits of food and any rubbish. Anything ground in or sloppy stays where it is. I pay for a meal out, and with that (imo) comes the priviledge of not having to get on my hands and knees and scrub a floor clean!

OtterInaSkoda · 22/09/2009 10:55

Argh! I meant to say pass said napkin.

I really need to preview my posts!

IWantAChickAndADuck · 22/09/2009 11:12

I'm with the OP... I think it's just plain rude when people leave mess like that in a resturant. Like others have said, it would be unacceptable at home. My 3.5 yr old picks up after himself if he drops stuff on the floor and I have a 7 month year old that is continusly chucking stuff all over the place, dicovering cause and effect and I wouldn't dream of leaving his mess behind. In fact this weekend we went to pizza hut and I removed from the floor: a whole clementine (in segments) about 5 rices cakes, a whole bag of organix crisps and two pieces of galic bread! I would have been so embarrassed if I had just walked out and left it!

A friend of mind does it continusly and it drives me potty!! Juice cartons thrown out of the pushchair on the bus and left, crisps tipped out in shops and left... final straw came when we had a picnic in some well kept gardens, we packed up, I put our rubbish in the bin, she got up left hers scattered all over the grass

Tidey · 22/09/2009 11:14

Never been to one, I don't think I could bring myself to because it's just such a stupid name for a restaurant, or indeed anything. But yes, people should at least have a little tidy around before they leave.

carocaro · 22/09/2009 11:26

yes, pick up cartons and napkins but not food.