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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that some parents are just lazy and inconsiderate?

246 replies

LentilsRMe · 21/09/2009 21:34

We went for tea yesterday at Wagamamas.

There was a family behind us, including 2 children - about 2 and 4 maybe.

I looked round after they had left and under the table they had left food, crayons, paper and two empty juice cartons.

I was a bit that they just left without even picking this all up off the floor.

Surely I am NBU?

OP posts:
StableButDeluded · 22/09/2009 14:04

ROFL at MummyDoIt's being 'busted' on MN I'm glad they saw your thread, should make them think twice about what a mess they were leaving.

I pick up most stuff, I think it's rude and lazy to leave a big mess. Non food such as cartons, napkins, crayons etc I'll always pick up. Food depends on the type. Big,dry bits like a chip or chicken nugget gets picked up. Wet, squashed or slippery/difficult to grasp stuff, I leave. but feel a bit guilty about. I usually apologise about that though.

mollythetortoise · 22/09/2009 14:16

yanbu. I can't bear it either.

Another big bug bear of mine is people nappy changing in public (mentioned earlier by someone - nappy changing on table - I would have gone up to them and told them how digusting it was!) ..
or worse potty training with those portable potties. I do NOT want to see or smell it thanks. take the child to the loo.
I must say it does tend to be the more middle class families guilty of this particular sin.

I think they assume we are all delighted by their child's mess and bodily functions.

Very very rude and disrectful to staff and other diners and a terrible example to set your children.

crankytwanky · 22/09/2009 14:19

YANBU at all!

I used to be a waitress, and after years of scraping mushed chips out from between floorboards for less than minimum wage,I am firmly of the "clean the highchair and the floor then leave an enormous tip whilst leaving backwards in a groveling appologetic manner" camp.

MovingOutOfBlighty · 22/09/2009 14:20

Don't be so child-ist Mollythetortoise.

You are repressing my dear little darlings by being negative about their plopsy-wopsies. Surely it is a childs right to share their bodily functions and to not have their piercing vocal talents sounded out in all restaurants until at least 10pm.

Sheesh - The Uk is so child unfriendly. On the continent they are delighted by my childs incontinance. Anyone who disagrees is clearly a child hater.

PuppyMonkey · 22/09/2009 15:42

Well, you see I would have every good intention of clearing up after me but sometimes if there's lots of faffing about putting coats on, rushing for the bus and then maybe DD2 needs a wee and then there's more faffing, I can get easily distracted and might just wander off without noticing what was on the floor.

Bibithree · 22/09/2009 15:57

I pick up. I would be ashamed leaving a table in a terrible mess, with juice cartons on the floor . No matter how much I'm paying to eat there I still have some pride. I don't go overboard, but I pick up anything they dropped, including half eaten food, and try and leave it reasonably tidy. I too have waitressed and hated having to get on my knees to pick up used baby wipes, half chewed food and whatever else people had let their kids chuck about. It's just gross.

theseboobsaremadeformilking · 22/09/2009 16:03

I would pick everything up apart from food, exactly as I do at home, no way am I scratting about on the floor on my hands and knees.
I'd then have to go to the loo again to wash my hands.
At home I sweep up after every meal (quite often mop aswell) but I don't expect to have to sweep up and mop in a restaurant

piscesmoon · 22/09/2009 16:05

I cleared tables as a student job and so I would most definitely tidy the worst of the mess. I also wouldn't want my DCs to think that it is acceptable to make a terrible mess and just leave it.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 22/09/2009 16:28

I am in the clear it up camp, I don't leave the floor shiney but I do pick up rubish and napkins, I certainly would not leave crayons and juice cartons under the table!

If we spill on the table I tend to scrape that up onto an empty plate.

I worked as a waitress for too many years to feel that it was ok to leave a bomb site

ladylush · 22/09/2009 16:50

Would always clear up mess left by kids. It's really unpleasant for the next diners otherwise - not to mention the waiting staff.

PommePoire · 22/09/2009 17:35

Sorry if someone has made this point already, but as far as I am aware, Wagamama's don't even sell cartons of juice. In our local branch the juice for children is served in plastic beakers. This family most likely brought the cartons from home, which IMO makes it even more unacceptable that they left them on the floor. Another reason why the rather arrogant "I paid for it, I can do what I like" argument falls flat.

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2009 18:06

Sorry, I have to come back. I applaud you all for wanting to do the right thing, but in terms of health and safety it is much much better to leave all the crap on the floor so it can be dealt with hygienically, rather than germs from the floor being spread around plates, tables, trays etc. cleaning up is part of the job...don't go into catering if you don't like it!

But again, I would never encourage anyone to make a mess!

frogwatcher · 22/09/2009 18:23

Ive spent many a year working in restaurants. I would not expect parents to clean up after their children as long as the waste is restaurant related - not the bag of poo somebody mentioned. Yuck. I remember one fairly top restaurant I worked in and I worked with some pretty snobby people (Im not - honest) who used to laugh at the 'commoners' stacking their plates and wiping up after themselves. It just wasnt the done thing. Whilst I am myself basic working class and not accustomed to eating out (!), even I would be a little horrified by 'guests' of the restaurant on their hands and knees under the table. Thats what you pay for - to have it cleaned up for you. I must admit to feeling a little embarrased for people when I see them happily stacking and scraping their plates etc - even when we are in Pizza Hut! But that said, I would pick up my own childrens crayons and anything not food related, but I wouldnt touch the food waste as to be honest it really wouldnt be hygienic once its been on the floor and as somebody said, thats how you would transfer germs to door handles, tables etc. The staff wouldnt use their hands, they sensibly use dustpan and brush. Its a fact that people walk around with dog shit etc on their shoes all the time and that will truly be on the restaurant carpet - guaranteed. You'd pick up those particles too on the bits you pick up - uhh.

Kwini · 22/09/2009 18:34

" Wagamama a silly name - eh?!!! "

Wagamama is a Japanese word. It means "wilfulness" or "behaving like a child" - seems appropriate, really!

janeite · 22/09/2009 18:39

Can't remember who said it but using the excuse that 'the little ones run off' to not pick stuff up before you leave, is just as bad as leaving it. You are the parent - they leave when you are ready, surely? Or you fetch them back - if they are big enough to run off, they are big enough to tidy up imho.

MoChan · 22/09/2009 18:41

I always clear up after myself, within reason. I wouldn't ask for a dustpan for the fine crumbs, but I think it's rude to leave large items of rubbish/food/other lying on the floor.

People should have a little respect for the people who serve them, I think. If everyone did, one might not get so many arsy servers who are sick to death of waiting on ingrates...

MoonlightMcKenzie · 22/09/2009 18:56

Couldn't care less if I'm seen as a 'commoner'. I want my children to grow up with good habbits, understand that 'mess' has to be picked up by someone, the work involved in that and that in general, it is a better outome for everyone not to make a mess in the first place.

I don't want them growing up thinking they can behave like a slob and pay for the problem to go away.

I also want them to have respect for the people that serve them, in any capacity.

cleaningsucks · 22/09/2009 19:01

i find the idea that you pay to leave a total mess an utterly repellant point of view. you pay for the food, you pay for someone to carry the plate to you, you pay for the washing up. but thats it. waiters aren't slaves, or staff. and if you cant set an example to your children of how to behave in public, and how to be considerate - then i pity you. and them.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 22/09/2009 19:03

In response to OP, I would/get my kids to pick up crayons, colouring sheets, cartons etc as IMO that is out of order and they don't do it at home.

I would probably pick up larger pieces of food like a half chewed bread roll or the like, but the rest I would leave. Little bits on the floor are part and parcel of kids eating.

I have seen forks etc strewn under tables, glasses, serviettes, salt cellars etc that peoples' kids have played with.
I think that's wrong and reflects on the family, but that's how DH and I were brought up.

KERALA1 · 22/09/2009 19:10

Frogwatcher I totally applaud your post. You pay (often quite alot) to eat out. Part of that for me is to avoid the usual drudgery of clearing everything up.

I wouldnt leave outside mess there, and would collect together crayons etc but food mess on the table related to the meal eaten and paid for I wouldn't clean up and have never felt guilty about it. On the occasions I have started to clean up staff have told me to stop. After all they have the right kit (brushes, clothes disinfectant etc) that I dont usually take with me to restaurants.

janeite · 22/09/2009 19:10

Agree with Moonlight - happy to be a 'commoner', if that's how having a bit of common courtesy and respect is seen these days.

ThingOne · 22/09/2009 19:16

I generally pick up most of the crayons, paper etc but now that they are older I do leave any odd bits of food on the floor.

My DS2 made a terrible mess with an ice cream today so I went to get some napkins to clear it up. While I was getting the napkins he made a worse mess, spreading the ice cream across the table with his spoon. As I cleared it up he ran off in the direction of the river. Definitely a time when there was no right answer .

bibbitybobbityhat · 22/09/2009 19:21

Yes, op, it is absolutely lazy and inconsiderate to leave your table like a bomb has hit it.

CloudDragon · 22/09/2009 19:29

YANBU it's disgusting. I always tidy up after the DCs (and us ) when at restaurants/cafes/trains/buses/

I was a waitress for many years and found most parents tidied up but some pigs didn't (and we slated them for it and quite rightly imo)

MadameDefarge · 22/09/2009 19:29

aaaggh, bibbity, I am trying to fight the good fight for health and safety! yes its awful that people let their kids trash the joint, but often its just a case of stuff happens! Don't mess with the evil germs! let the professionals take care of it!

I know all this. I have just done my food hygiene course....