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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have wanted to take dd to school by myself today?

31 replies

kathyis6incheshigh · 21/09/2009 13:57

She started school a week ago last Friday. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and last week was my last week in the office (this week I'm working at home) before maternity leave starts.

My very kind & helpful MIL has been very helpfully staying with us so she could do school drop-offs and pick-ups while I was at work last week. She walks very slowly because she has sciatica and takes ages to get ready in the morning so dd has been the last one in her class to get to school most mornings.

My mum's coming tomorrow and MIL's going home, then on Thursday I'm going to see the consultant and will be admitted to the hospital for the rest of the pregnancy if my tranverse baby hasn't turned round .

Anyway, bit of an atmosphere this morning because I said I'd take dd and MIL said she wanted to take her. DD had been looking forward to me taking her so in the end we both went.

I feel like such a cow to be pissed off with this because MIL has been so helpful, but was I really being unreasonable to want a tiny bit of time to do this stuff with dd before I go away again/the baby comes?

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 21/09/2009 14:00

YANBU. TBH I think she is unless she is super insensitive there is no reason to fight over who walks a child to school.

VinegarTits · 21/09/2009 14:01

Can you pick her up by yourself?

Or take her tomorrow or Weds? maybe your mum will be more understanding and stay at home while you take her?

MovingOutOfBlighty · 21/09/2009 14:04

I think it is totally natural. I felt as though i was saying goodbye to my dd just before I had to go to hosp with my transverse lie as well. It just felt heartbreaking that you would never again be just the two of you during the day. When I had to be admitted even earlier i couldn't stop sobbing and felt so cheated.

Hope the baby turns.

Original poster
kathyis6incheshigh · 21/09/2009 14:07

I need to take my mum because I need to show her where to go, introduce her to the teacher etc.
Kreecher - I feel bad that I can't be sensible enough to rise above it. But I'm glad someone doesn't think I'm being totally unreasonable
I don't think MIL's going to want me to pick her up by myself this pm

OP posts:
Original poster
kathyis6incheshigh · 21/09/2009 14:09

Thanks Movingoutofblighty.
I do feel really emotional about the hospital thing.

OP posts:
VinegarTits · 21/09/2009 14:11

Just nip out the door 5 mins earlier when mil is not looking, then you can blame it on pg brain and say you forgot she was coming, or say you didnt realise she wanted to come too

DoNotBringLulu · 21/09/2009 14:14

YANBU

MIL is going home tomorrow? Then you can do Wednesday's school run, as VT suggests.

MIL probably enjoys feeling needed so she was disappointed this morning, but I can understand where you are coming from, no need to feel like a cow!

fillybuster · 21/09/2009 14:15

YANBU. And fingers crossed the baby turns for you

Original poster
kathyis6incheshigh · 21/09/2009 14:15

LOL VinegarTits. I need to be more Machiavellian, don't I?

OP posts:
Original poster
kathyis6incheshigh · 21/09/2009 14:15

LOL VinegarTits. I need to be more Machiavellian, don't I?

OP posts:
DoNotBringLulu · 21/09/2009 14:17

sorry x-posted!

All the best for Thursday

Original poster
kathyis6incheshigh · 21/09/2009 14:18

Thanks Lulu

OP posts:
Original poster
kathyis6incheshigh · 21/09/2009 14:20

She could have gone home already really, since I'm working from home, but she doesn't like travelling on Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays or Mondays

OP posts:
VinegarTits · 21/09/2009 14:33

Yes and you migh want to develop some discusting bad habits, like farting a lot and blaming baby, just to make sure she doesnt try to extend her stay

thehairybabysmum · 21/09/2009 14:47

Hi Kathy....sounds reasonable to me and doubly so when you factor in pregnancy hormones!!

Good luck for thurs. If you do have to stay in will it be at Y?? Am regularly visiting a friend there at the mo on bedrest til delivery so can easily pop in if you need visitors to ease the boredom!

dogonpoints · 21/09/2009 14:47

I can see it from both sides. Mil is staying with you and sees this as her Helpful Job and it is hard for you when a releative is staying all the time.

Have you said to her that you would love to walk your dd to school this week before the baby comes along and takes up your time?

allaboutme · 21/09/2009 14:50

Can you find a realy urgent important helpful job for her to do for you just at the time you need to get DD from school?

Original poster
kathyis6incheshigh · 21/09/2009 14:54

Hairybabysmum - that would be great, thanks . Yes, it is at Y. (You don't happen to know if they have private rooms do you?!)

Dogonpoints - no, I haven't spelled it out - I thought she knew I was doing it this week now I'm not away at work. Clearly I should have done!

OP posts:
thehairybabysmum · 21/09/2009 15:29

My friend is on a 4 bed bay. Not sure about private rooms. I htink she has enjoyed chatting to others on her bay though to while away the time.

Apparently there is one mw who is a cow but the others all lovely. I will find out her name tonight when i go so you are fore warned!

2shoes · 21/09/2009 15:33

yanbu

ScummyMummy · 21/09/2009 15:39

yanbu.
please spell it out and collect her or drop her off tomoz- sounds like mil is nice really and if you say hey the milster, I- you know it makes sense. really want some uninterrupted minutes with my daughter before I go into hospital, she may well be fine.\ Gwarn

ScummyMummy · 21/09/2009 15:43

sorry- part of my post went in the wrong place!

[correction]

yanbu.

Please spell it out and collect her or drop her off tomoz- sounds like mil is nice really and if you say hey the milster, I really want some uninterrupted minutes with my daughter before I go into hospital, she may well be fine. Gwarn- - you know it makes sense.

Good luck with the baby turning.

countrybump · 21/09/2009 15:49

YANBU, and I feel some sympathy with you! Both my MIL and mum are always keen to come and help me out, but because they live such a long way away this means staying when they come. I'm now 39 weeks pregnant, and have had to be really strong to keep them both away since DS started pre school. He goes just three days a week, and I have him for the other two days, and it is hard, but I really want this precious time with him before the new baby arrives!

I had a long maternity leave, which meant that I planned a month at home with DS before he started pre-school. During this time I had about 2 days where it was just DS and me, as either my mum or MIL were staying pretty much the whole time, and kept taking him out to help me - on outings to which I wasn't invited! I also felt really ungrateful as it was a help and allowed me time to rest etc, but I also wanted some time alone with DS!

I'd just explain to MIL that you want to do it on your own as you haven't had the chance to yet, she'll probably understand, and if she doesn't she'll probably pretend that she does!

Original poster
kathyis6incheshigh · 21/09/2009 16:39

Well it was fine
MIL actually asked me whether I wanted to do it on my own this afternoon so I explained I would prefer to.
My other reason for wanting to do it on my own was so I could chat to the other mums and start getting to know them a bit, and this went really well and I talked to three or four of them.

Scummy - LOL @ 'hey the milster'.
You're quite right, she is nice really, she's nothing like all those MILs from hell you hear about on here.

OP posts:
ScummyMummy · 22/09/2009 09:50

Oh good.