Or just a pushy mum? Advice please!

[InmyheadIminParis]

I've arranged a meeting with my dd's reception class teach this afternoon and I'm now in 16 minds about it. And very nervous . I think I'm going to come across as a very pushy Mum , but I'm worried that if I want to speak up it's now or never.

DD started school 2 weeks ago, but today will only be her 3rd full day. I found out at the weekend that there are two reception classes. 1 is a normal reception class. The other class (which I thought was another normal reception class) is actually half reception and half the year above. It seems that the brighter children are put in this class.

DD has always been bright for her age. She started school with an amazing vocab, writing her name in full and a few other words and reading simple words that she can sound out (cat, dog, sun, etc). The school she's in doesn't have links with the pre-school she went to so the teachers wouldn't have known that she was a bright button.

Am I being unreasonable to ask for her to be moved into the other class? What would you do?

If your DD is bright she will shine more in the younger class than the mixed reception/yr 1 class.

I would ask the teacher how they work out the classes for your own information but don't suggest that your child is moved.

I can pretty much guarantee that the current split will have been done on age and nothing else. DDs school is the same, so the oldest (Sept to Dec born children) are put into a mixed reception / Year 1 class (so the youngest children from the previous years reception in take) at the start and all the youngest, so Jan through to end August are in a reception only class.

Given how you feel about this now at only 2 weeks in, and if your dd is summer born, you might want to start thinking about the possibility that your dd could be only on the children who is in the mixed year 1 / reception class next year.....

Thank goodness
But what she believes in (well, at the start of this thread before she had to don her flak jacket) is that her DD should be moved up a class. And since then, it has transpired that her DD is a summer born! I'd be a bit about her starting full-time reception in September, let alone wanting her put up to Year 1. (have two August-borns, who only went full-time in January - just about OK, but there were many who weren't, and had nothing to do with IQ).

I think the OP comes across as quite pushy. Bright is not the same as knowing how to read/write/spell/add up e.t.c. A child at reception age knows however much they have been taught.

IME it is possible to teach a child to read/write/spell/add up completely before they start school if the child is motivated to learn. It is the motivation to learn of the child and the desire to teach of the parent/childcare provider that normally makes a difference to how early they get a grip on these things. There is no difference in overall outcomes between learning to read/write/spell/add up at 3 or 6.

Often children that can already read/write/spell/add up when they start in reception are put in 'bright' classes and think they are special in some way only for the rest of the class to catch up completely over the next 1 or 2 years. These children often bore quickly with school too because the school effectively doesn't really have anything to teach them for a couple of years.

I do think however that if the school has split the classes at this early a stage then it more likely to be done on an age basis rather than for 'bright' children.

I think it is quite strange that the school has never discussed these things with the parents before though so your meeting might not be a waste but I wouldn't go in there with a 'but my little girl is bright actually' attitude. The tendency is, after all, for all parents to think their child is bright.

I could read and write when I started reception. My sister had a reading age of 7 when she started reception, my brother barely knew about the alphabet. By the time they were 7 my brother had caught up. They both got 5 As at A level. My brother was the last of 4 and was more interested in playing with cars and balls and glad to have my mum's attention, at preschool age whereas my sister was 15 months behind me (her only playmate) and was absolutely desperate, but had to wait 2 years, to start school. Basically she just did all my school work when I got home and read my reading books.

Well? Did you see the teacher? What did she say? Do you feel any better about things?

puts on flame-retardant jacket Okay.

I've been and chatted and come back. I'll tell all - but just want to make a couple of things clearer. I don't think, and haven't claimed that dd is gifted, I just said she was bright. I also posed a question - I genuinely wanted to know what you all thought and the approach I took was based on your thoughts.

Okay, here's what I found out. The classes are not split on age. They're split on all sorts of factors and ability is definitely one of those factors. I asked general questions and was very happy with the answers. Phew.

I'm the daughter of a reception class teacher. What I've picked up along the line is that if you've got a question about what happens in school you go in and talk to the teacher.

takes pin out of fire extinguisher

Clam - you beat me to it. I was writing as you posted.

It is always best to have a word if you are worried about something. I think that it is always best to be in a class with the same year group, if possible.

I still don't understand how they can split a class taking ability into account at all at Reception age. There simply isn't the information available. And I speak as a Reception teacher.

Unless they mean ability as in attainment/development according to their nursery profile or whatever it's called nowadays. Although it seems they didn't have the OP's DD's notes before today. Even so, if she's a summer-born I would think it highly unlikely they'd even consider putting her into a Year 1 class. As, in fact, they haven't. And I would also imagine that class groups are much less flexible than the working groups within reception.

By the way, Paris, I do think you've been very good about not running way and hiding today, coz you've received a battering of YABUs from loads of us. Anyway, glad you feel better.

Clam thanks for that - slightly battered, but I was genuinely asking for advice. And I got it!

iinterestingly, this happended to me last yeAR.
my child got put in the reception class, and there was an option of a yr1/reception splitclass i asked for them to be moved, as all their friends from nursery were in that class. they moved dc to split class. dc had no problems in there.

Interesting. Still think this should have been explained before your dd started. I'm very surpirised as I've never come across a class split done on anything but age especially at reception.

My son has just gone into Yr 1 and is very bright. I was told when he was in reception that he was the brightest boy they have had in the school (prep school) for 4 years and in nursery he and two other girls were sent into reception once a week for extension work.

However he is very immature in some other ways and I would have hated for him to have been in a composite Reception/Yr 1 class. Yr 1 is such a jump in structure and all soprts of other things.

It is more important at this age for children to be amongst other children of their own age regardless of ability.

I have just been given his nursery profile thing that was sent up from nursery. I'm betting that the OP's school was given a copy of this.

I'm glad you've had clarification, Paris.

This does remind me of the woman whose daughter went into reception class at the same time as ds1. If the rest of us (clearly mothers of utter dullards) had a pound for every time her mother told us that daughter had been specially selected to sit at the "ever so bright" table from day 1, we'd have been billionaires by now.

Fast forward 20 or so years and "ever so bright" daughter works on same supermarket check-outs as mother. "Utter dullards" are doing rather better on the competitive scale!

(None of the above is intended to be elitist, but merely to demonstrate that you can make an utter buffooon of yourself very early on in your child's school life. There was, of course, no "ever so bright" table.)

This thread has reminded me of how much I don't miss the pushiness anxiety that goes on amongst parents at primary level.

OP, I'm glad you've had a positive outcome.

Glad you have the answers you wanted Inmyhead. I think it's also important to remember, that by asking / demanding that our children be in the top group / in the bright class / admitted to the school, we are also logically arguing that another child should be moved down a group / 'demoted' a class / denied entry to the school, and I would hate to be the person who had to choose who that child was .