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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think sil is being ridiculous with this fb comment...

26 replies

RobynLou · 19/09/2009 21:22

shes nearly 2 weeks overdue with dd2 and just posted on face book that she....
has had a very lazy morning with dh doing lots with dd and doing loads of chores - but now dd has a temperature, dh has been a star - and is now preparing food for dinner already! Thank you very muchly - I'm a lucky girl to have him.
no she's not, thats the basic i'd expect when 2 weeks over, I hate women bigging up men for doing things they should be doing anyway and that women do without any comment...
grrrrrrr

OP posts:
LadyOfTheFlowers · 19/09/2009 21:24

My DH does that kind of thing, but I know a lot of ladies who's DHs don't.
I know more with DHs who don't, than do.

LilRedWG · 19/09/2009 21:25

I don't see anything wrong with publically thanking anyone for making me feel looked after and special.

CyradisTheSeer · 19/09/2009 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
RobynLou · 19/09/2009 21:26

they shouldn't be encouraged to think its special to do these things though?
my dh has to just get on with it, i say thankyou to him, he says thankyou to me...

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 19/09/2009 21:27

Nothing wrong with thanking him publicly. Lots of husbands don't do that sort of thing.

I thank my DH every day for doing every day things, like the washing up or putting the laundry on. Its just a nice thing to do.

Tee2072 · 19/09/2009 21:27

I forgot to say, he thanks me as well for the things I do.

Plonker · 19/09/2009 21:28

Positive re-inforcement ...clever girl

diddl · 19/09/2009 21:29

I think YABU to be bothered enough to start a thread on it.

Original poster
RobynLou · 19/09/2009 21:29

I gues i'm just feeling grumpy and her dh annoys me anyway, IABU....

OP posts:
TrinityRhino · 19/09/2009 21:29

its nice to appreciate what he is doing

I see what you are saying about not needing to be appreciated but...

its nice to be nice, one day he may not be there

heverhoney1 · 19/09/2009 21:30

Better to say thank you than take what each other do for granted no???

puffylovett · 19/09/2009 21:30

YABU lots of men would need to be told or asked to help out.

My DPs friend said to him when we found out about DS1 - she's not ill, she's just pregnant so ignore her demands. Needless to say his wife gets little help with their two kids. My DP is fab and has done exactly the same for me today as your SILs hub, and this thread has reminded me I need to say thank you So I've just shared some of my Terry's chocolates with him. I wouldn't normally

PinkyRed · 19/09/2009 21:30

I know what you mean, RobynLou - my mum seems to think my DH is amazing for cooking, and that I'm completely idle for 'getting him to clean up'. Wtf? We both make the mess, we both clean it up.
Well, actually dd and ds make most of the mess, but you know what I mean

onepieceoflollipop · 19/09/2009 21:31

I recently went on a spa/hen day and night. Dh had the girls (he always has them when I work the weekends, too). I did thank him and I did tell friends that I appreciated him.

I then saw one of my friends who had bumped into dh when he was out on an activity with the girls. Apparently they had made positive remarks about him having them all day and he in turn told them that I worked hard too and deserved the day off.

I understand your point op, but imo there is nothing wrong with thanking your partner/letting others know that he or she has been particularly supportive.

Portofino · 19/09/2009 21:37

I think it is lovely that she is publically appreciating the things he is doing so YAB abit U.

I wouldn't go so far to update FB that DH is hoovering. But I DO appreciate the stuff DH does. Not just because he SHOULD be doing it. I fe very lucky that I have a fully house trained DH, though my feminist side has a problem with this . As Trinity quite rightly says, appreciate them whilst they are there!

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/09/2009 21:37

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BumperliciousVsTheDailyHate · 19/09/2009 21:38

Nothing wrong with being grateful. My DH does all these things and I am not nearly grateful enough. Then again I don't need to be, my mum is grateful enough for me . When dd was a few months old she sent him a £20 amazon voucher for being such a good dad . Do you think I got anything for being a 'good mum'?

preciouslillywhite · 19/09/2009 21:39

YANBU.

Hope your BIL's put on his fb page "...is doing really well, carrying my child two weeks over term"

Original poster
RobynLou · 19/09/2009 21:40

he's listed all the things he's done today for sil and their dd.....

OP posts:
Portofino · 19/09/2009 21:41

PS I spent a lot of time in hospital before dd was born. DH had to work and also do a 30 mile round trip each day to visit me in the hospital. When I got home after dd was born, the house was sparkling! So should I just think that this was what was expected of him, or should I be dead chuffed that he had made such an effort?

preciouslillywhite · 19/09/2009 21:42

the cheeky fucker!!

then YADEFinitelyNBU!

simplesusan · 19/09/2009 23:35

Christ if I idled away spent my time telling the world about how many jobs I had done in the house I would be here till kingdom come!
It's one thing her having a well deserved rest and noting it down on fb but quite another him listing his brownie points, zippidee bloody zip as my dh would say.

thatsnotmymonster · 19/09/2009 23:44

I think YABU.

Even if men should be like that anyway, mosy of them are not!

I think you are lucky if you have a dh/p who is very willing to do lots of chores etc.

My dh does a small amount of stuff but generally expects that I do most stuff as I am SAHM even tho we have 3 preschool dc. He has never made any extra effort whilst I have been pg. There is just no convincing him that it is hard being pg nevermind being pg and looking after toddlers/babies.

mumeeee · 20/09/2009 00:14

YABU.It's good to thank people.

Firawla · 20/09/2009 00:34

yabu, alot of men dont do it. if she's happy and wants to put it on fb its not harming you