to be so peeved that we spend approx £1400 a month on childcare

[couture1]

I know I have to pay for the service but it leaves me with little left over each month and we need to salaries to get by. I dont want to give up work as 1 cant afford to and 2 Im hoping that when 3dc are at school in 3 years time we will be better off each month - but how do we manage until then?

Rant rant rant

mumofeve.

I think you´ve hit the proberbial nail on the head.

Families are so fragmented now and I think a lot of nurseries have sprung up to take advantage of that.

I also think that many women who "work for nothing" could afford to give up-if they want to, of course!

mumofeve Family do make it less stressfull. And school holidays are hell for finding care especially for children over 11.

Alot of children love going to their childcare provider and benefit from their time there. but ive had a few that didnt and i was the one as a childminder that found it upsetting. (i am a softy)

diddl i so agree

i am a working parent! i have seen it from both sides!

I jsut want to say that I think everybody is right.

Despite all the reasons I gave, I must be honest and say that we PROBABLY could manage if I became a SAHM. However, part-time work was the right compromise for OUR family. I would never have worked full time - not because I have anything against people who do - but I wouldn't have felt comfortable with it for a variety of reasons (plus I think it would have caused lots of arguments with DH over chores!!!!!). Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to make our own choices, must do so, and live with them!!!

Kittycatty, it is not that a few children don't benefit from going to a childcare provider don't benefit, it is (by your own admission) that a few children who were looked after by YOU as a childcare provider didn't benefit.

And for some reason you are blaming the parents for that!

millyR the children i am talking about had been to other childminders and nurseys BEFORE comming to me BECAUSE they didnt settle/were not happy!

and if i wasnt a good childminder (as your trying to say) then how come i looked after some children for up to 8years? Was always full? Had a waiting list? etc...

One assumes you were full because the parents didn't know how much you despised them. What a marvellous ethical choice - to profit from activity you so disaproved of.

What a load of crap this thread has turned out to be.

Mothers going out to work isn't a new things since the major increase of childcare providers like nurseries, childminders, after school clubs. Mothers 40 years ago would have taken thier kids with them and left them outside Woolies in their prams, worked at night and left them in bed alone etc. (not all obviously) but mothers have always worked.

Kittycatty I agree that your points are generalising "working parents" and I'd also like to point out if these parents didn't work then you'd find yourself out of a job and probably would have had to go out to work yourself!

Persoanlly I do not feel a nursery is the best setting for a tiny baby, but totally understand parents who HAVE to go back to work early. My daughter was at nursery part time from 2 yrs old and absolutely loved it. She learnt loads and became the bright sociable child she is now from that early experience. When she started school last year it was so easy (and still is) to spot the children (in general this is) that had never been to nursery, CM or even preschool. Some of her classmates had never spent a day away from mummy, and they found it a total shock and very very hard to deal with. Some are only just settling now.

I have a great realtionship with my daughter and have lots of time to spend together. Childcare isn't a bad thing, in many cases it can actually be a positive thing for the children.

• What Northernlurker just said!

ok for the hard of thinking let me spell this out S-L-O-W-L-Y in response to "why do these people have children and put them in full time care"

as one of "these peole" and like other women who want to be a mum, i had a desire to have chidren. plain and simples

i had no desire to give up working or my career. plain and simples

I happily pay someone else to watch my children

because I want to
because I love working
because I love being mummy and working
because it maintains my career and autonomy
because I am financially independent
because I get approbation and affirmation working and am not prepared to sacrifice that

plain and simples

now i have never cast aspersions based upon anyone ability to raise their children if they are sahm so do refrain from speculating about working mums

scottishmummy - the people you pay are not just 'watching' your children, they are shaping their minds/lives. That is the bit that I would find it hard to relinquish.

I too am very about the expression "paying someone to watch my children". Do you really pay someone to watch your children, SM?

I think it depends on the age of the child. Older children do need someone just to keep an eye on them.

numerous many others shape lives,and that is positive

do you suggest children live in a hermetically sealed box,no external shaping. only parents

exposure to many situations, many people shape us.that is good

meeting affirmative people, meeting bullies, love, disapointment,fear, all all enriching and shaping experiences

we are shaped externally and internally

love and affirmation, consistency from parents all shape and mould us. and thta can be delivered by a working or sahm

I don't think childcare is expensive for what it is.

I have a part time nanny, and although she is obviously at the more expensive end of the childcare range, and is pretty well paid for a nanny round here as well I feel I get excellent value for money. She looks after my DS in an exemplary manner, giving me total confidence in his well-being and happiness, and also does all his laundry, leaves the house immaculate and cleans his bedroom.

So although it's a lot of money to pay, it's worth every penny reflecting the work she does and the responsibility she takes.

The question is really not whether childcare is too expensive, but whether or not the government should subsidise it further than it already does, to enable more parents to be able to better afford good quality childcare.

Lots of people who think parents or a parent should stay at home to look after small children already criticise the government anyway for any attempt it makes to encourage women to go back to work after maternity leave/not fund them staying at home longer.

Also to consider is where on earth money would come from for further subsidies. With so many people being made redundant, therefore not paying tax and instead claiming benefits, and companies either going bust or not doing as well, therefore not paying as much tax, the benefits system must be creaking at breaking point by now I would have thought, with a lot more going out and a lot less coming in than a few years ago.

With over 2 million jobless at the moment, throwing money at childcare to enable parents not currently working to get back in the workplace adding to the numbers of people seeking a reducing number of jobs would I imagine be criticised as poor prioritising.

For the first few years of my DCs lives I am glad that I was able to be the prevailing influence.

yes i really pay.pounds sterling,the usual way folks.

what you think i pay it in fairy dust?

both my parents worked FT.they are definitely the guiding moral and psychosocial shaping factor in my life.without a doubt