My 73 year old mother in law childcare part 2 - need the same straight talking please

[clemette]

Some of you may remember me posting about my MiL who has my children for one day a week each and who, until a couple of weeks ago was completely diregarding anything I said about food/routines/swimming/parenting in general.
Well DH actually built up the courage to say something and things settled down - to the point where we had a successful holiday all together last week. DH had persuaded me to give it another go (if you remember I was all for increasing their time at nursery).
Anyway, when I collected 4.5 year old DD today she told me that her granny had had a nap after lunch while DD watched TV. DD is a sensible little thing (and a TV addict so she probably wouldn't have moved) but I feel incensed that MiL thinks this is OK (I asked her about it and she just said "I slept while she watched TV").
Is this (yet again) me being unreasonable because of my tense relationship with her (and the fact that I would rather her NOT look after them for so much time) or would you be cross too?

My mum is 75 asd is a registered childminder !!

If you genuinely think she is not capable of looking after your children, then put a stop to it.

Real problem here, I suspect, is the DH's relationship with his mother. If DH can't make it plain to her that he's a big boy now ('so back off mother'), you'll only end up dealing with this same problem in different disguises until she finally kicks the bucket

Hi, My ds1 is 4 and has just started school so your dd must just be a few months younger; like you I tend to keep half an eye on him ( and his 2 yr old brother) pretty much all of the time; ie. If they are playing in the garden I sit in the conservatory, if they are in their bedroom I might read the paper in their room or flick the tv on in my room, we sort of move as a herd! I wouldn't nap even with them watching tv and I'd be upset if anyone else were to do so.

Ref your problem of not wanting to cause ructions with the MIL, could you perhaps tell the smallest of fibs and put dd in nursary for the extra day and couch it as preparation for school which has been recommended. Blame it on 'guidelines' and 'policies' would that be possible?

Tbh personally, and without having read your other threads I think your concerns are valid.