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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that leaving a dog on its own in the house for up to 12 hours a day is not on.

29 replies

GetOrfMoiLand · 14/09/2009 09:52

DP would really like to get a dog. I would like one as well, however we both work full time (I am out of the house from 6.30 til 6pm, DP from 7.30 til gone 6pm). I therefore think it would be really cruel to leave a dog on its own for perhaps longer than 12 hours a day, even if we did have a cat flap and the dog could go in and out of the garden at will. So I have said no dog.

DP thinks not and says there must be plenty of people who work FT and have dogs and doesn't think this is a valid reason to not get a dog.

What does everyone think?

OP posts:
controlfreakythecontrolfreak · 14/09/2009 09:56

i think (almost?) everyone who has experience of dogs will say that is not on.... dogs are sociable animals and need stimulation / company to be happy. a bored / anxious dog may be depressed / destructive / agressive.

of course people combine work and dogs but maybe come home for lunch / stagger hours with their partners / have a dog sitter come in to play with / walk dog in day.

would he like a cat? hamster?

frostyfingers · 14/09/2009 09:57

Don't do it, not fair on the dog or you. First thing you'd have to do when you get back from work is clear up and exercise it, which when you're tired and fed up after a long day, and it's cold and wet would not be fun.

Really not fair on the dog either, they are sociable animals - how would your DP fancy being confined in one place all day with no one for company......

Also if you're both hardly there, what's the point of having a dog......

pasturesnew · 14/09/2009 09:58

No, you can't do this without a dog sitter / walker I'm afraid. I think a rescue centre wouldn't let you have a dog without care arrangements during the day, and a new puppy from a breeder would be completely unsuitable as how would you train it etc.? Tell DP he can have as many dogs as he likes when you are retired!

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 14/09/2009 10:00

When I was picking up my guinea pigs from the rescue place there was a woman there asking about a dog. She was asked if she worked and was told that a dog should not be left alone for more than 4 hours. 12 would be mean imo. Why not look into getting a dog walker?

DailyMailNameChanger · 14/09/2009 10:03

Even if you had a walker come in twice a day your dog, on average would get about 5 hours of human contact per day. That is in no way enough, you are right and your dh is being an selfish arse about it.

FT work and dogs do not mix, sometimes it becomes unavoidable when someone already has a dog but setting out to run things that way is unforgivable - unless you think he would pay to have someone come in daily and sit with dog for a few hours at a time. This tends to cost around £8 per hour....

Dawnybabe · 14/09/2009 10:08

There are most certainly not plenty of people that work full time and leave a dog on it's own all day!!

How the hell would he like it??? To be left in complete isolation all day every day? It's bloody cruel. You wouldn't leave a child like that so why the hell is it ok to do it to a dog? Dogs are loving, loyal, intelligent creatures that need company, stimulation, training and love, not bloody abandonment.

And if you both work long hours, who's job will it be to walk it every day, not to mention train it? Are you really going to leave an untrained dog alone in your house all day, going out of it's mind with boredom and loneliness? Who will then clear up the trail of distruction every night caused by it's seperation anxiety? How's it ever going to learn to behave itself? Are you going to want to get home from work and then turn out again for dog training classes? Dogs aren't born knowing the sit command!

Sorry for the rant but it's an emotive subject for me, I'm secretary of an obedience club and I have seen too many people that think a dog is just another piece of furniture. There's more to owning a dog than having it curl up by your feet of an evening and a nice walk at the weekend.

Merrylegs · 14/09/2009 10:12

Dog walkers. People who work FT have dogwalkers. Or you could have a live-out dog - in a kennel with its own yard.

If you leave a dog in the house all day, chances are you won't have a house to come back to. Or if you did, it would be very, very chewed. Or dug if it's the garden and the cat flap idea. (And does your DH like his lawn? Would he like it covered in dog wee burn marks?)

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 14/09/2009 10:13

Agree with everyone else. If he wants a pet what about cats - two of them so they have company. They tend to sleep most of the day anyway and give you plenty of interaction in the evening.

Original poster
GetOrfMoiLand · 14/09/2009 10:14

Dawny - no need to apologise for the rant, I totally agree with you! I know nobody who works FT and has a dog, so I think he has made that up.

However lovely it would be to have a dog there is no way I am ever going to get one whilst we are both working. Poor thing would be miserable as sin.

We have 2 cats, they are as happy as sandboys asleep all day. We will just have to stick with the cats.

Thanks everone for your replies.

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 14/09/2009 10:15

I think you're right to say "no dog".
I also think that there are only certain times in your life when it is feasible to keep a dog - because of being around to spend time with it.
It wouldn't be kind to the dog to be alone for this length of time and in the winter months the only time outdoors it would get with you will be in the dark.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 14/09/2009 10:20

GOML - tell him you have asked the cats and they say they don't want a dog.

countrybump · 14/09/2009 10:29

My dog can be left at home for up to 12 hours at a time, but I would never do this every day. My dog is now used to being left from 8am until 6pm, three days a week.

When we got him as a puppy I was able to take him in to work with me. I intended to always take him in to the office with me, but office policy changed whilst I was on maternity leave, banning dogs.

So, as a result he is at home, but, like I said, this is only for three days out of seven, and he gets an hours walk every morning before he is left, come rain or shine!

I spent a long time preparing him to be left as well. While I was on maternity leave I started to leave him for longer and longer periods, and get him into a routine before I went back to work.

I guess what I'm saying is that you can leave a dog, but not every day, and not for 12 hours a day. Is there a compromise you could come up with? Work different hours, take the dog with you, work from home etc?

Original poster
GetOrfMoiLand · 14/09/2009 10:31

Lol LadyGlencora. Yes, I think we should actually admit to ourselves that the cats are the bosses of the household

Country - blimey, where did you work that you used to be able to take your dogs with you! No, no way we can change our working hours etc.

I think DP just got a bit dog broody this weekend, his brother has just got a Great Dane from a rehoming place. It is an absolutely beautiful dog, I knew it would have this effect on DP.

OP posts:
sixlostmonkeys · 14/09/2009 10:37

I have just adopted a puppy from Dogs Trust. her mother was left alone for 9 hours every day and you should see the state she is in!{ She will need a lot of work before she can be rehomed.
12 hours is totally unacceptable and you would probably get reported. The anguish a poor dog would go through being left like that would lead to a dreadful state of mind.
stick to your guns on this one

Original poster
GetOrfMoiLand · 14/09/2009 10:42

Sixlost - about that poor dog.

Don't worry, will certainly not be swayed. I will show him this thread later (he will especially like the comment 'DP is being an arse!' )

OP posts:
countrybump · 14/09/2009 10:42

I work for a conservation charity, so all very animal friendly. Unfortunately the landlord of the building not so keen!

Maybe your DP should just borrow his brother's dog at the weekends to take on a few long walks! That's the best bit of dog ownership anyway, being able to get out and walk and play with them. That way you avoid the constant mess of paw prints and dog hair in your house (I've tried training mine to wipe his paws, but it will never work!), the almost constant poop scooping, and the cost involved! My dog is big, so eats a lot, but costs us well in excess of £50 a month in food and insurance, not including the vet bills, worming tablets, flea treatment, carpet cleaner, treats, kennel fees if we go away or the extra you have to pay to take a dog on holiday!

I love my dog and would never be without him, but he is also a total pain in the bum! A bit like most members of the family I suppose!

DailyMailNameChanger · 14/09/2009 10:48

Was that me?

Well, in my defense it is a silly thing to suggest

GrimmaTheNome · 14/09/2009 10:49

I'm so lucky - I was able to work FT and have a dog, because I work from home. He's on my knee right now ... er, I should be working!

Nancy66 · 14/09/2009 10:50

My neighbours - who got all their dogs from Battersea dogs home - leave them for up to 16 years a day.

I've phoned the RSPCA and there's nothing they can do - it isn't illegal.

Original poster
GetOrfMoiLand · 14/09/2009 10:57

Lol DailyMail. You're right, he deserved it

Nancy that's a shame - poor dogs.

OP posts:
BellaLasagne · 14/09/2009 11:04

Please don't do it. Not only is it unfair on the animal but consider your neighbours.

My neighbours go out all day and leave their 2 dogs in their (enclosed) garden. The dogs then bark continuously all day which is driving me spare as I work from home. I've contacted the council about the noise and they're going to investigate.

bumpsoon · 14/09/2009 11:12

What i would do is tell him you will think about it ,then in november ,tell him that if he gets up at 6am every morning for the whole of november and goes for a half hour walk ,regardless of the weather ,you will seriousley consider it .If he manages to do that without any days off ,then explain that the dog will cost you £300 a month , see if he still wants one then

MarmadukeScarlet · 14/09/2009 11:18

Nancy, contact BDH they may have an after homing check policy and would be interested in this.

AstronomyDomine · 14/09/2009 11:24

Nancy66!!

YANBU - 12 hours every day is far too long; like others have said, would you expect other members of your family (for a dog will be just that) to be left in isolation all day?

Friends of mine had a dog. Their job situations changed and they had to leave the dog in the house alone while they went to work. Eventually, this dog used to sit at the top of the stairs, growling and wouldn't let anybody passed. They had to ask grandmother if she could take the dog instead. Now everybody's happy.

Don't do it.

We have a dog and we both work fulltime but DP works shifts and I can work from home so it's all good.

hippomother · 14/09/2009 11:26

12 hours is far too long to leave a dog. Most rehoming centres say that a dog can only be left for 4 hours maximum.
If you were adamant, however, you could hire a good dog walker to come twice during that time to take the dog out and socialise and exercise it, but you would be looking at at least £10 a time for a good dog walker, so at least £100 a week.

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