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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with my sister?

27 replies

MamaG · 11/09/2009 14:09

sis is always ALWAYS late sending birthday presents to my dc. DD was 10 6 weeks ago and still no sign of present! She had sorted something, but it didn't work so kept trying to "sort it out" apparently. I said to her last week to just get her that for christmas and buy her something else for her birthday. I think 6 weeks is a long time for a 10 year old to wait!

Sis doesn't have any dc but I have told her how importnat birthdays are to children. DH (who doesn't get on with her that well at the best of times) is really annoyed with her, DD is wondering if her auntie is going to send her a birthday gift and I just wnat to kick her up the arse!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Seuss · 11/09/2009 14:13

My brother's a bit ropey at remembering presents so nowadays I buy something on his behalf and he gives me the money. YANBU and you could kick her up the arse, but it probably wouldn't make any difference - least she might have it sorted by Christmas.

diddl · 11/09/2009 14:14

For me,YABU.

I don´t understand why parents get so uptight about their childrens birthdays.

Why have you told your children to expect something from your sister?

tulpe · 11/09/2009 14:17

YABU.

Why should your DD expect a gift from Auntie?

My DCs have 3 aunts and 2 uncles. Only one ever buys them a present every year and if she didn't it certainly wouldn't bother me or DCs. They understand that it is not a given that people will buy them gifts and I am grateful that they have this attitude rather than greedy expectation.

Did you tell DD that aunt would by something?

LilRedWG · 11/09/2009 14:18

I don't think you are being unreasonable to be annoyed, but you are being unreasonable for letting your DD expect a present.

throckenholt · 11/09/2009 14:19

I am sure your DD got lots of other presents - if one from auntie arrives at some stage that is a bonus - not an expectation.

10 is not to young to learn you aren't the centre of everyone's universe.

tigger32 · 11/09/2009 14:24

Sorry but yes YABU

Children shouldn't expect a gift from anyone, mine certainly don't and they are only 6 and 3.
Did you tell your dd to expect a gift or did your sister?

CMOTdibbler · 11/09/2009 14:27

YABU, both to be annoyed with your sister, and to be expecting a gift.

cory · 11/09/2009 14:33

My children usually wait for their presents from uncles until the next time we go to visit them, which is usually several months after their birthdays- just seems a waste to be spending money on postage. So I'd say it is well within the capabilities of a 10 yo to wait 6 weeks. A 10yo should have a pretty good attention span, they're hardly babies at that age.

Stigaloid · 11/09/2009 14:42

YABU - i never got presents from my auntie and never expectd them either. Childrent shouldn't expect presents, they are gifts and should be treated as such - not rights. If it really is that important to you then buy one on her behalf ut don't expect it or get annoyed when someone who doesn't have children doesn't send one to your child at the right time.

Pikelit · 11/09/2009 14:44

YABU. The world is split into two camps so far as present-giving is concerned - really good or utterly crap. You won't change the latter but you can really upset your own dc by allowing them to have unrealistically high expectations. I'd rather see a gift given with real pleasure than I would see something eventually handed over with a bad grace. But actually, I didn't bring up my dc to assume that every single member of the family was going to give them a birthday present anyway. Why should they?

fircone · 11/09/2009 14:54

YABU.

Leave your sister alone. She's probably posting on SinglesNet asking AIBU getting irritated with my nagging sister who keeps on and on about where's a birthday present for her precious daughter.

MovingOutOfBlighty · 11/09/2009 14:57

Pretty much agree with the others. Sometimes my sis and bro remember, sometimes they don't. Couldn't give a tiny hairy rats arse as long as they love my dcs.

Think it is incredible that kids 'expect' gifts. Often don't bother with giving my neice/nephews presents until I see them which could be several months away. A card will do.

Original poster
MamaG · 11/09/2009 14:57

Actually, I don't think its unreasonable for my DD to think she will receive a gift, when she has received a gift every year for her birthday from my sister (albeit late!) and combined wiht the fact that my sister rang a few days before her birthday, gleefully telling DD "you're going to love your birthday present" and then nothing turned up! Prob should have mentioned that in OP

OP posts:
SouthMum · 11/09/2009 14:58

YANBU to be a bit on your DDs behalf. I don't know a single child who doesnt expect a gift from their aunties / uncles if they have had one before. Doesn't make them petulant or spoilt, makes them kids IMO.

YABU if you told DD she was getting a gift knowing your sisters history of gift giving but you don't say if that was the case.

Original poster
MamaG · 11/09/2009 14:59

THANK YOU southmum! Finally a voice of reason

OP posts:
MovingOutOfBlighty · 11/09/2009 15:01

In which case, she is definitely being a bit slack. i take my wise words back. A promise is a promise!

SouthMum · 11/09/2009 15:02

at your sis for getting her hopes up!

Original poster
MamaG · 11/09/2009 15:09

ooh I just realised I'm one of those stealth AIBUers who reveal an important fact halfway through teh thread

AIBU to annoyed that my mum only bought one shoe for my Grandma?

YEs!
How mean!
Thats evil!

But she's only got one leg!

oh

etc

OP posts:
Pikelit · 11/09/2009 15:15

Pshaw! Whole dimension of unreasonability revealed. Mainly ours.

Original poster
MamaG · 11/09/2009 15:17

lol
i read that in a "batman" voice in my head

OP posts:
diddl · 11/09/2009 15:43

Well, if she´s promised that changes it.
But TBH, I would have sorted something out myself by now, I think.

anniemac · 11/09/2009 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Pushingonthrough · 11/09/2009 16:26

I used to love getting late presents - my aunts and uncles never sent them in the post - extends the birthday a bit I think.

I can see your point though.

crankytwanky · 14/09/2009 22:05

My family are all like this. In part because they are always skint. DH's family are a bit about it, but it's normal to me now.
50% of the time a present actually turns up!

Bit U of sis though to get her hopes up. I'd ask her outright if she has anything if it's upsetting her. Maybe she had planned something but it fell through.

mumeeee · 14/09/2009 22:22

YABU. I only gave my 10 year old nephew his bithday present a couple of weeks ago and his birthday was in April. He didn't mind at all and niether did my sister. In fact my SIL is always late in giving presents to nephews and nieces but no one minds. They all take it as being nice to have a gift whenit's not thier birthday.